Musopticon? Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 ^^Classic. kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnderAndrew Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Don't you just love Alanis Morissette? Doesn't her music just set your heart afire with the passion of misspent youth? Don't you wish you could write catchy pop hits just like she does? Well now you can. Simply fill out this form and our Alanis Morissette Random Lyric Generator will spill out a #1 hit song that you can ride all the way to the bank! Go on! Get miserable! http://www.brunching.com/alanislyrics.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Sry I prefer Eddie Vanna. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnderAndrew Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Hi, I'm Satan, and I'd like to talk to you about proper hygiene. Kids, I know it may sometimes be a drag when your folks tell you to take a bath, but believe me, you need to bathe regularly, or you'll go to Hell. Me, I like to bathe two or three times a day in the blood of the damned. I can relax after a busy day, scrub my festering wounds with the souls of the tormented, and watch the torture of some poor sod who, more often than not, is suffering in my domain due to a clerical error. Yes, a good bath in the morning will refresh you and prepare you for the day ahead. And while we're preparing, let's not forget to brush our teeth regularly. Trust me, not brushing can lead to cavities, an ugly smile, and eternal damnation in Hell. Your teeth do a lot of work for you, so it's only fair that you do something for them. And treasure them while you can, because there's no teeth in Hell. Oh sure there's all kinds of tough, chewy meat to eat, but no teeth, so everyone has to gum their food until their mouths are filled with blood and pus. So take care of your teeth. Now let's talk about mouthwash. No one likes bad breath. It's smelly, it's disgusting, and yes, it will send you straight to Hell. I have horrible breath, and I like those around me to know this, constantly. So I tend to breathe upon my doomed flock all day long, flames shooting out of my mouth and turning any and all in my path into a crispy, charred mass. But you can avoid this with a simple mouthful of Scope. In short, take care of yourselves kids. Because if you don't, you'll go to Hell. I'm Satan, see ya later! http://brunching.com/satanhygiene.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Child of Flame Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 "Will to Live" I feel miserable Buttsexxers make me ill I feel miserable Heathens tear at my foundations I feel miserable Communists are dragging me down to the depths of misery I want to die Is it because of Liberals that I feel this way? With the Red rays of misery pounding on my brain? Or am I lost in tale of Ezra Pound, adrift far from home I don't think so, I don't think so. Karl Rove Broke My Will to Live Karl Rove Broke My Will to Live Karl Rove Broke My Will to Live I was getting better but then Karl Rove Broke My Will to Live I feel miserable Evolutionists rot the flesh from my bones I feel miserable College Professors defeat my purpose I feel miserable Terrarists are doing their best to impale my soul I want to die Is it because of Liberals that I feel this way? With the Red rays of misery pounding on my brain? Am I lost in tale of Ezra Pound, adrift far from home I don't think so, I don't think so. Karl Rove Broke My Will to Live Karl Rove Broke My Will to Live Oh God, Karl Rove Broke My Will to Live I was getting better but then Karl Rove Broke My Will to Live Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnderAndrew Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 The Brunching Shuttle****s used to be a truly great site. It isn't active anymore, and the search function doesn't work, but there is still some great stuff buried there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Child of Flame Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 The Rebuttal! "I Think" I Think Rednecks are really a huge problem I Think Warmongerers are too much on my mind I Think Fascists have got a lot to do with why the world sucks But what can you do? Like a Moralistic rain, beating down on me Like a Lawrence Ferlinghetti line, which won't let go of my brain Like Monica Lewinsky's ass, it is in my head Blame it on Conservatives Blame it on Conservatives Blame it on Conservatives I Think Creationists are gonna drive us all crazy And Preachers make me feel like a child I Think Christians will eventually be the downfall of civilization But what can you do? I said what can you do? Like a Moralistic rain, beating down on me Like a Lawrence Ferlinghetti line, which won't let go of my brain Like Monica Lewinsky's ass, it is in my head Blame it on Conservatives Blame it on Conservatives Blame it on Conservatives Like a Moralistic rain, beating down on me Like Monica Lewinsky's smile, cruel and cold Like Lawrence Ferlinghetti's ass, it is in my head Blame it on Conservatives Blame it on Conservatives Blame it on Conservatives Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnderAndrew Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 July 1997 --Supreme Court strikes down the Communications Decency Act under the "Bodacious Hooters" clause of the Constitution. August 1997 -- Netscape introduces revolutionary "streaming handjob" technology. All twelve Junior High School boys not already on the Web join up. October 1997 -- The new Merriam-Webster Standard Edition dictionary includes the following definition for "cyber-": "It doesn't seem to mean anything, really. People put it in front of words, but we can't for the life of us figure out why." September 1997 -- Microsoft includes Internet Explorer with Windows 97, declares the Internet an extension of Windows, and starts to collect royalties. January 1998 -- Cure for cancer found when researchers search on Alta Vista for "+cure.for.cancer." August 1998 -- Netscape announces that it will no longer allow people to download and use its browser for free. Market share drops 80% in two minutes. December 1998 -- All U.S. elementary schools are hooked up to the net. America's schoolchildren can finally enjoy the benefits of being able to call up week-old "Dilbert" cartoons. February 1999 -- Aliens invade. A wily computer hacker defeats them by infecting their computers with a virus that prevents them from using "smileys" and other emoticons, thus making it impossible for them to communicate effectively via e-mail. April 1999 -- Bill Gates is discovered feasting on the flesh of interns. Cannibalism is declared an industry standard. Apple attempts to gain market share by releasing an easy-to-use ritual sacrifice interface, but fails. June 1999 -- Ed Begley, Jr. receives a special entertainment award for being the only remaining member of the Screen Actor's Guild not to have a fan page on the Web. October 1999 -- The consulting firm of Heinrich & Platt reveals the only known method of making a profit on the Web: "You tell them it's a porn site, and when they pay to get in--no porn, sucker!" January 2000 -- Jesus descends from Heaven and does battle with Satan. The righteous rise to eternal glory and the wicked are cast into the pit of fire. Bob Gilmond of West Piltdown, OH publishes "Bob's Page of Cool Rapture Links." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bokishi Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 I fail at conservation. CATEGORY ACRES FOOD 5.9 MOBILITY 0.2 SHELTER 2.7 GOODS/SERVICES 2.7 TOTAL FOOTPRINT 12 IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 24 ACRES PER PERSON. WORLDWIDE, THERE EXIST 4.5 BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE ACRES PER PERSON.IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE YOU, WE WOULD NEED 2.6 PLANETS. http://www.earthday.net/footprint/index.asp Current 3DMark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Child of Flame Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 I do too! And I do not have a car or eat hardly any prepackaged non-locally grown food! CATEGORY ACRES FOOD 4.2 MOBILITY 0.5 SHELTER 8.6 GOODS/SERVICES 6.2 TOTAL FOOTPRINT 20 IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 24 ACRES PER PERSON. WORLDWIDE, THERE EXIST 4.5 BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE ACRES PER PERSON. IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE YOU, WE WOULD NEED 4.4 PLANETS. I blame my parents for having a non-energy efficient house, built in a rural area with no need to build upwards. Seriously though, this is a load of bunk junk, conservation scores are going to be biased towards city people as there is less need for a car (better public transpo, things are closer spaced) less space to build housing (houses are smaller, built upwards because of space rather than build out because of plentiful land) and depending on location/diet even food. Big enviromentalist sillies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnderAndrew Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musopticon? Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Quite lame. kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bokishi Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Here we are, a day later and this thread is still here. Current 3DMark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnderAndrew Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Ed was the only smart man in the world. Once he was elected mayor on the strength of his campaign slogan, "Vote for Ed or He'll Lose." His opponent's slogan was "Can't Argue With That." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoM_Solaufein Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 (w00t) War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is StrengthBaldur's Gate moddingTeamBGBaldur's Gate modder/community leaderBaldur's Gate - Enhanced Edition beta testerBaldur's Gate 2 - Enhanced Edition beta tester Icewind Dale - Enhanced Edition beta tester Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petay Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Teehee, nice joke/anecdote The smiley thing was quite lame indeed, i expected something amazing out of it. I was let down. <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Yeah too bad Authority isn't here to actually run this board Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baley Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Someone close this already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fionavar Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 All SPAM eventually retires to the AotS ... thanks for the opportunity to add yet another entry to the Obsidian pantheon. The universe is change; your life is what our thoughts make it - Marcus Aurelius (161) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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