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Redneck Jedi


Jayque

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You Might be a Redneck Jedi If.....

 

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya'll."

 

* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

 

* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

 

* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

 

* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

 

* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

 

* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

 

* Wookies are offended by your B.O.

 

* You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

 

* You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

 

* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side... it'll be a hoot."

 

* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

 

* You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

 

* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

 

* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

 

* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

 

* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.

 

* You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

 

* Your business cards read "Billy Bob, Jedi Master".

 

* Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that reads "My other fighter is an X-wing".

 

* You know Ewoks squeal like pigs.

 

* You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster.

 

* When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope.

 

* Your land-speeder had a light saber rack.

 

* Your land-speeder has a bumper sticker that reads "Protected by Smith & Wesson Light Sabers"

 

* If you hear ... "Billy Bob, I am your father ... AND your uncle!"

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