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Redneck Jedi


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You Might be a Redneck Jedi If.....


* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya'll."


* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.


* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.


* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.


* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.


* You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.


* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.


* Wookies are offended by your B.O.


* You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.


* You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.


* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side... it'll be a hoot."


* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.


* You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.


* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.


* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.


* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.


* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.


* You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.


* Your business cards read "Billy Bob, Jedi Master".


* Your Y-wing fighter has a bumper sticker that reads "My other fighter is an X-wing".


* You know Ewoks squeal like pigs.


* You use your R-2 unit as a beer coaster.


* When your sister wears her metallic bikini, you insist she travels by clinging to you while swinging on a rope.


* Your land-speeder had a light saber rack.


* Your land-speeder has a bumper sticker that reads "Protected by Smith & Wesson Light Sabers"


* If you hear ... "Billy Bob, I am your father ... AND your uncle!"

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