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Funny Stuff: The Phantom Funny


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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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One of those things I've known for years, but it always amuses me when I see/hear references...

 

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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From the blog of author Ilona Andrews...

Now then, onto the story. Do not eat or drink anything while reading this.

Kid 2, calling on facetime at eleven thirty at night: Hey Mom.

Me: What’s wrong?

Kid 2: Didn’t Kid 1 tell you my sad story?

Me: No.

Kid 2: Okay. Here goes.

It must be said that Kid 2 lives on her own and is very proud of her little rental house. It’s spotless, despite the presence of two German Shepherds, and endless adjustments are made to the art, rugs, and decorations.

Kid 2: I had a very long day. I studied for my math exam and I cleaned the house, so I decided to take a shower so I would be clean and smell nice. I was really tired. I took my time. I conditioned my hair. Before showering, I turned Roomba on just in case I missed anything vacuuming.

Me, thinking: I know where this is going. Artha and Quincy must’ve eaten Roomba. Go on. What happened?

Kid 2: My model of Roomba is very smart. You know it vacuums and mops.

Me: Mhm.

Kid 2: I come out of the shower and the house reeks. I run to the living room in a towel. While I was in the shower, someone – probably Artha – had upset stomach and made an accident.

Me: Oh no.

Kid 2: Roomba detected the accident and vacuumed over it. There are poop trails all across the floor. It smeared the poop all over the living room, and in the kitchen, and over the cute kitchen rug I bought…

Me, trying to keep from hysterically laughing.

Kid 2: And then it must’ve detected the stain on the floor, because it decided to mop the trail of poop it made. I run into the living room and there is Roomba, squirting poop water all over the place and whirling around in it, while the dogs are hiding on the couch.

Me: OMG.

Kid 2, looking haggard: An hour, Mom. It took me an hour to clean everything and sanitize the floor. Roomba is gone, the rug is gone…. I got so stressed out, I cleaned the kitchen counters just because they were there.

Roomba Review:

Mess detection: 5 stars.

Floor coverage: 5 stars.

Rescuing happily spinning Roomba from a puddle of poop water: priceless.

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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A little bit of language...

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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Juggling between weird things and funny, and I think I'll slide towards the amusement value here.. :

Crackpots are buying Faraday cages for routers then bemoaning bad Wi-Fi (inputmag.com)

Some of the internet’s best moments arrive unannounced in the form of um, duh moments — it’s one of the 21st century’s best-selling brands of humor. This week’s iteration comes in the form of Amazon reviews for Faraday cages, which unsuspecting consumers are apparently using to house their routers in the hopes of keeping harmful 5G signals at bay… and then getting angry when they realize the cage is blocking the router’s Wi-Fi signal.

 

 

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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4 hours ago, Raithe said:

Juggling between weird things and funny, and I think I'll slide towards the amusement value here.. :

Crackpots are buying Faraday cages for routers then bemoaning bad Wi-Fi (inputmag.com)

Fails junior high science, should be ample qualification to become a writer on Star Trek Discovery. :p

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Give me the eyes, so I see
Give me ears, so I hear
Give me love, so I know what love is
Give me freedom to think, to believe
In something
                        -- Tony Kakko

 

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