alanschu

Think the last game I played like that was wizardry 8. The encounters would scale to the party in pretty much any dungeon. Didn't play the game long... I think there was some scaling but I do know there were plenty of areas that were way too tough at low levels, and the earlier levels became easier at higher levels.

I was pleasantly surprised by that movie too!

That is true, though in the grand scheme of things, marginally.

Okay strange She knew I was feeling like crap, and then today after floor hockey she gave me a CD. Apparently her Mom made it for her (didn't get a chance to discuss why, as I was in a ****ty mood and not feeling like talking). It's a good thing she told me that, because some of the songs are a bit...odd to send to me of all people, given our history. Such songs as: Fallin' - Alicia Keys Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Collins Yellow - Coldplay Last Kiss - Pearl Jam (this one is less weird, but it was a song we both talked about a lot and agreed in its awesomeness in the early stages of our friendship) (Everything I Do) I Do it For You - Bryan Adams Everlong - Foo Fighters (My favourite song, and she certainly knows that) I know she is intending to cheer me up, but I think I would have exercised some more caution with the CD, given some of the songs...

Might as well just type postCount++

That twinkle in our eye jags.

The thing that ****ing pisses me off the most was that before things got too close, I considered this woman to be my best friend and confidant. And I have a lot of **** going on in my life right now that has me majorly in the dumps (part of the reason why I dumped everything on here, since I needed to get **** off my chest), and the one person in my life I feel comfortable fully talking with honestly about these issues, can't/won't. I don't press the issues because I know she doesn't want me to, but it just makes me that much more ****ing bitter and angry at all the **** that's going on right now.

It's a big cabinet. With an incinerator...

And yet you chose to play it for 10 hours. Oh, sorry, you were forced to play it for 10 hours. The "oh I only make this much and games are like sooo expensive" sob story it just pathetic. Games are luxury items, no one needs to play them, and certainly no one is forced to play them. "I was forced into it. By myself!" Companies make and sell games. You want to play them, you buy them. Don't want to pay for them, then you don't get to play them. Sure, it's a sob story. But if someone makes 700 Euro a month and can't afford more than one game per month.. Who gives a **** if he downloads stuff? It's not like he could have spent money he didn't have on those games anyhow. That doesn't entitle him to playing the game. He could go do something else if he can't afford it. Just like my friends can't hop the fence at the private tennis courts and start playing some tennis, even though no one else is currently playing. It's not like we would have paid to play there. By downloading it though, it tells those that do crack the game that he supports their actions, and that he'd like them to continue cracking games. Let's not forget that I'm a selfish **** too, and it annoys me that he gets to play the game because I am willing to pay for it to keep game development companies in business. (EDIT: Walsingham sort of touched on this....he's playing games on our penny)

I will file this neatly in my "Who Cares" cabinet.

Try laughing at him. It might help. Make it an evil one. "Muahahahahahahaha" type stuff.

Succubus: Hell Bent So bad it was kinda good haha.

Meh, my own personal drama is on hold anyways. My roommate's dad just died

It's at #3. #303 is more like it, even thats generous I would just like to refer everyone to my post here http://forums.obsidian.net/index.php?showt...9860&st=308 I was saying TDK was overrated when it was still unpopular to do so. And you are just as wrong back then as everyone else is now

The part I struggle with for fully distancing is the fact that this person was also my confidant. She helped me through the time when my Mom was rushed to intensive care, and offered her time and ear to me when I was struggling when she needed more surgeries. I just got some bad news today, and the only person I really feel comfortable with, from a trust perspective, is her, and she is very good at reading me when I have something on my mind.

*raises hand* I think you were and still are a jerk wrt this matter. You may act like you've "distanced yourself" but all you've really done is lay off the direct pressure and decided to lurk in the background, hoping their relationship will fail, whispering in her ear of a "better life". IMO, if you really cared about this woman you would leave her alone and respect her decisions. The constant pointing out of her husbands deficiencies is just a poorly veiled attept to point out; "See, Im better then him. LOVE ME!". IMO, thats really low class and a good way to get your ass kicked. I dont mean any of this as a personal attack, just an outsider looking in. To be clear, I don't point out her husbands deficiencies to her. I haven't mentioned anything to her about her husband since we "broke up," which is almost 3 months ago now and outside of email and sports, our interaction is limited. Believe me there are times that I wanted to...but I do check my tongue around most of my friends (I'm ranting on an internet message board, because there's anonymity and a variety of different perspectives that can be lent). You have an interesting comment though, one that I conflicted myself with very much the first week or two. You say that if I really cared about her, I would leave her alone and respect her decisions. However, if I really cared about someone, would I just abandon them if I believed they were suffering? I still don't know the "right" answer to this question. You are right that I am lurking and waiting, and I didn't find pointing out his deficiencies to be a poorly veiled attempt at anything...I figured it would be rather transparent. I tried to make this clear by admitted that I am in fact biased when I see things. It is hard to disassociate, because she did say to me that she'd feel guilty if I moved away or stopped playing on the sports teams because of all this. There is the friend part of me that wants to provide assistance when I can. There is the romantic side of me that wants her to choose me. I am very self conscious about my interactions with her though. She has said that things are very hard for her right now, compounded by the fact that it hasn't really gotten much easier for her in the 3 months. "Should" I turn away when she is feeling bad and wants to talk with me? Maybe. Who's to say who should or should not do what though? If I was just a friend with her, I would never turn away. Things ARE complicated by our relationship though, however as a person it is virtually impossible for me to simply ignore her if I feel she is suffering. This type of attitude is not restricted to her, though it is more accentuated for her, because of how I feel. As for getting my ass kicked, I'm not too worried about that. Even if the husband was a physical threat to me, my impression of him is he'd to be too non-confrontational about it to do anything about it. And I don't take it as a personal attack. You spoke your mind and were honest. Good for you. I respect that. I guess it's easier on the internet to do such things, but I don't think that diminishes the fact you could have sugar coated it, but decided not to.

I agree, but of course I am biased. The interesting thing is, from my perspective, it really seemed like she had become a more confident individual in her time with me. She used to be selfless to a fault, but I can tell even now, she has an easier time doing the things she wants to do. When she and I got really close, I saw someone that was not afraid to do something that might make her look foolish. She said it was easy to try new stuff with me, because she knew I wouldn't judge and she never felt ashamed of failure. It was almost inspiring to see her begin that type of transformation, and it made me feel great to feel I had that type of a positive impact on her life (it also made her seem particularly attractive to me, and hence, more affectionate feelings). She grew more confident in herself, and tends to feel less guilty (I think anyways haha). It was a bit of a kick in the teeth to feel that I spent all this time helping her become this way, but in the end he gets all the reward from it (he was too busy at work, and spent much of the spring and summer not spending time with her).

I stay friends with her because, for some reason, the way it's always been between us, is that it's not hard. I think it's because before we were romantically involved, we laid the foundation of a fantastic friendship. She appreciated my honesty from the get go, and considered it brave, so whenever there were issues between us, we'd just talk and be honest about it. We also did our best to not pressure the other person. To be fair, from my perspective it's not completely pure. There's still a part of me that still cares for her very strongly, but I don't go into the times we spend together to win her heart or criticize her or anything. She has made her choice, and while I may not care for the husband at all, I do care for her. If she can be happy with him, I'll fully move on, but right now she is suffering, and I think that if I suddenly upped and disappeared from her life (which would be difficult. We have a lot of mutual acquaintances and play on the same sports teams), she'd feel responsible and guilty for pushing me away, and it's not something I want to put on her shoulders right now. The "weird" thing is that we still talk, and while we don't hang out very much alone anymore obviously, the very few times we do, it's never weird or awkward. She admitted that was kind of confusing for her, and she didn't know what to think. So I was just honest with her, and said that if she has any reservations about the times I chat with her via email, or sports, to just let me know. If she's honest, she needn't ever worry about hurting my feelings. It's impossible. I just make sure to give her every possible outlet to tell me to piss off if I make her feel uncomfortable, or perhaps even TOO comfortable, and it confuses her. I'll be the first to admit my friendship and relationship with her is quite atypical. We have always found it easy to talk, and I think we always will.

I think a lot of people are like that, men and women alike. I think it's also hard to let go of something, after you invest so much time and effort into it. The one thing I am happy about for my friend, is that she has finally admitted that she feels she does most of the work in her marriage. It was something a friend of hers (that she started talking to after her and I started to go our separate ways) was able to get her to admit. My friend said to me a long time ago that she couldn't imagine divorcing him, because the idea that she could love someone so strongly, and then want to leave him, was so hard to fathom. She felt she'd never be able to love again (though I guess her relationship with me proved otherwise haha) if that was the case. For what it's worth, I tried to just be the good man. While my intentions were not really to play "homewrecker," in being there for her, we ended up getting very close.

To me the tragic thing is that the husband already has his life planned out for the next 40 years. He found a job that he himself says he doesn't really like, complains about a lot, but stays in because its stable. He knows how long he need to work to be eligible for full pension (31 more years to go). The only real deviation to his plan for life is that his wife isn't keen on having babies right now, though I know he really wants them (and feels pressure from his parents to have children as well). His family bugs her for not having children, with his sister calling her vain for doing so, and his mother lecturing her about how women that wait until they are 30 and older have the most complication with their pregnancy. I know this gets on her nerves, and he does nothing about it...making me think he's okay with this and hoping she'll buckle under the pressure sooner or later. A weekend ago his parents and family randomly stopped by to visit (forcing her to suspend her plans for the weekend, but the husband can never say no to his family), and the Dad started talking about how he knew lots of women that were all "NEVER!" to having babies, that changed their minds when they got older. This after my friend told her husband that she doesn't appreciate the pressure from her parents (which, appropriately, came after I had told her that I'd kick my parents asses if they ever tried that **** with my wife). I made some mistakes, in that at first, I suggested a lot of stuff to try to help her with her marriage. Then as we got closer, I started doing fun stuff with her and for her, and now I see her trying those things with her husband. So in a sense, I handicapped myself from the get go, and just gave her ideas. Another tragic thing is that he has learned that all he has to do is nothing, and she'll eventually cave on the issue. Any issue. Eventually she'll feel guilty, and even though she wants a tattoo and he's adamantly against it, I doubt she ever will. A friend and her are going to Vegas in November, and the friend is all "I'm getting a tattoo" and my friend was like "me too!" and then put an apprehensive look on her face. It's talk, as I know she really wants one, but ol' hubby doesn't approve. The funny thing is that the husband isn't your typical "jerk" like husband. He's a math geek to the extreme. He's chubby because he likes to eat his fast food, and isn't keen on exercise. She likes to try new things and experience life, but he doesn't. He likes solving Math problems and reading Scientific American, and discussing the LHC. She feels she's still young and wants to do so much with life before settling down, and wants to do it with him. But he wants to take the safe, boring approach to life. Sadly, she's already started to give up on some of the things she wanted to do in life. Even though I became something inappropriate for her, as a friend (which is what we were before things became more complicated) I still look at her situation and feel bad for her. It's less of an emotionally jarring event, so in that sense I've created distance from a romantic and affectionate point of view. She invited me and my roommate over to play some board games with her, her husband, and her sister and sister's boyfriend. My roommate flaked and said no, but I still went. Appropriately, it's never awkward between my friend and I, and she has admitted that kind of confuses her, because she thinks it should be. But we played board games, and it was irritating to watch the husband tell her to get a drink. And when the radio CD player stopped playing, all he did was say "Radio radio radio radio." At least in both cases she told him to get his own drink, and to do something about the radio himself. I just think he's too socially inept to realize that he's annoying. I almost wonder if he thinks he's cute. I do worry for my friend, and I want her to be happy. But at the same time, people have to live with the choices they make...and if she wants him, she has to accept the consequences of that action. I just hope it doesn't wear her out. Sooooo, lets be honest. Who read what I wrote the first time and figured I was a jerk? I can take it

Haha it's true.

Women (and men) can be crazy, when they stick to their romantic notions. I know a woman who has for the most part, been pretty miserable in her marriage for the last three years. She puts sooooo much effort into it, and from my perspective her husband is only reactive in the marriage, not proactive. He'll only put in the effort if she gets on his case about something. It's a bit strange because she and I ended up becoming pretty close, and after about a year, we both realized that we had developed pretty strong affectionate feelings for each other. In confiding with me, she mentioned that she feels her husband is a huge source of stress in her life, and she feels frustrated because he's so non-confrontational to to other people, which makes him frustrated, and he then asserts his independence on her, by passively refusing to do the things she suggests. It's frustrating to see him adamantly stick to his guns about not wanting to go out, but the instant someone else suggests the very same idea, he's usually immediately on board. The thing that was strange for her was that she found it easier to be honest with me (she and I had always had a pretty honest relationship, which she appreciated because she said it made her feel like she was never under any pressure, and that she could always talk with me if something upset her, because she knew I wouldn't overreact and would listen). Whenever she'd try to talk to her husband about the issues with their marriage, he'd always respond back that things would just work themselves out in time. On two separate occasions, she was basically crying on my shoulder because things were so hard, and I think she has just constructed this romantic notion, because he was her first real love, and they did so many firsts together, that it was the storybook style relationship she really wanted. I think she wants it so much, that it doesn't even matter WHO the person is anymore, just that she wants to hold that ideal up. The first time she cried, I asked her why she loved him, and she said "I don't know. I just do. I always have." The second time I asked her (when she cried the second time), with a condition on it. I told her that it's great that she has all these fun memories of how things used to be, but that she couldn't live in the past, and that her life would be less awesome if that's all she had to go on. So I asked her again, why she loves him. This time, she said "Because he loves me. Even if he doesn't show it right now." To be honest, this response seemed a lot like the type of response a battered wife would make. It saddened me to hear her say this. Shortly afterward, I began to realize that her wellbeing had such a high priority in my life. I started to realize that our friendship had really grown into something more. Since we'd always been honest, I mentioned this to her. At first she was playful and laughed at it, but as the discussion went on, I told her that it is hard to see her suffering as a result of her marriage. She then said she could still count on my support, even if things were less than awesome, right? I looked at her and said I didn't think so, which obviously hurt her. In the end I just came out and said to her that I didn't see things changing with her and her husband, and that she'll always be the one that has to put in the effort, and that she'll never be as truly happy as she could be, because he isn't willing to put in the effort. I then went super crazy, and said I think she'd be happier with me. Obviously she didn't choose that option (it was never really a surprise), but in the few days later our friendship was tenuous at best, and things were all scrambly. I pretty much told her I loved her, and she admitted to me that she didn't want to admit it, but she had fallen in love with me too. So for a while I had to digest the notion that she would rather be with someone that is a source of stress for her, frustrates her, and never wants to do any of the things she wants to do in life, instead of someone who, in her own words, she described as "awesome," "amazing," and "fantastic," that gives her the honesty and intimacy she craves, and a willingness to do things in life. I'm a big believer in the idea that it doesn't matter what you're doing, if you're with someone fun, it will be fun. With her, things were fun for us both. We would try new things, and I think we both grew a lot as a person. It's too bad for her she made the choice she did IMO. I don't think it will result in her being very happy in the long run. Maybe not unhappy...just not as happy as she could be. And it's not even with me. I find her husband annoying and irritating, long before she and I ever got close. I think she'd be happier with just about anyone else. But alas. /rant

Fair enough. I know what it's like.

Sounds like you dodged a bullet then Checkpoint.

Fortunately I like romance. I like doing something small and unexpected simply because it will put a smile on her face. When she is sad and down, I like to just give her a hug and hold her in my arms for an indefinite amount of time. I like doing things that I know she loves and appreciates, because she always seems to be willing to do the things that I love and appreciate.