Rayth

So then what you want insurance for? I'm Captain Death i can kill anything! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ectoplasmic ailments. I mean you've seen those horribly disfigured ghosts right? Problems with their ectoplasm. I can't fight crime if I'm crippled from tainted ectoplasm! Well technically if I ever fulfill my purpose I'll discorporate. My purpose is avenging my murdered family via vigilante justice.

Guys, I am already dead, I cannot die again, come on!

How much will my starting salary be and do you have a good insurance plan for ethereal entities?

I am a totally 1337 |-|4><><0r. Also, I am a wraith. Does this mean I am qualified enough? I don't need an outfit because I am a wraith.

Darque can sex me anytime.

Character: Eldar Attributes: Scares his family with his nerdery.

This is a story, of a time, when my cell phone really helped me out: I was driving back to school after donating a sizeable amount of books to goodwill, my phone started ringing and I'm an unsafe enough driver without distractions aside from music so I pulled over into a parking lot/roadside to answer it. Good news, people on the other end are calling about one of the jobs I've applied for. Great, schedule an interview, hang up, put the car back into gear, get ready to pull onto the road again. I'm about to hit the gas when I hear a lady screaming 'help me'. Hispanic woman, mid-twenties, tears streaming down her cheek, I figure what the hell, I'll see what's wrong, I'm not in a hurry. She comes up to the car, asks me if I can give her a ride while fumbling with the door, and I am thinking 'oh crap somebody has beat her/raped her/carjacked her/whatever, so I help her with the lock, let her in and get back out on the road. I ask her where she wants me to take her she names a destination thirty miles in the opposite direction from where I'm heading. Now it's not that I'm stingy but my car only gets 13MPG, t'was all I could afford you see, so I say, no I can't really do that. After that she starts ranting about how if I don't get her off the road, she's going to go to jail for a long time. I think 'Oh crap' and start fearing for my life. She says to just keep driving, so I do. She asks if I have a phone while I'm stuck in a momentary bout of traffic so I frigging give it to her. I continue on in the direction of the school since she hasn't given me any other directions, while she tries several numbers on the phone trying to find someone to pick her up. I am starting to cough and my eyes are starting to burn from her cigarette, I'm hoping it's not burning my upholstery since I have no ashtray and it's in the hand that's inside the car (windows are down, I don't like running the AC since the gas mileage is so bad already). I've noticed by this point she reeks of booze and I'm wondering if she's on anything else and whether or not she has a weapon on her as I'm starting to plan evasive contingencies. I finally get through the intersection I was waiting at this entire time and she asks me to pull off into a side street after finally getting through to someone or other, saying 'It's not a very good place to be, and I'm probably gonna get caught, but who even f***ing cares if I go to jail anymore!' I pull into a parking lot on said side street and let her the hell out. Good riddance. After all this happened it turned out she was just some lush who was written up for vandalizing a bar and drunk and disorderly, the cops already knew who she was when I went to them, but she would've been in my car a lot longer had I not had my cell that day.

Everlast - What It's Like

Hey Fatty McFatkins! I gots a suggestion for you! Get off the internet and go outdoors!

Absolutely. My idea was just to walk up to her sometime before the big V day, and aske her if she liked candy. Then if she said yes, I was going to ask if she liked it when it came in a box. After another yes answer, I was going to ask if she liked it when the box was heart shaped. If she answered yes, then I would get her some flowers. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Have the chocolates on you when you ask her the questions. Psychologically, three "Yes" answers (each one helping to prompt the next one) set up the question-asking scenario for an almost irredeemable "Yes" on her part. Strike then with the chocoloates. If she says "No" at any time, set up three "Yes" answers, again, and then ask her out. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You sir, are a genius. This is my new technique!

Wait, wait, wait. She likes soccer? Write "Will you be my Valentine? Yes [ ] No [ ]" on a red soccer ball, then kick it at her head.

What is that supposed to mean? Novel? You want me to write a book about her and give it to her? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> No, no, no. What you do is set up a scavenger hunt to find her 'secret admirer' (you) and make sure and have it set up so that you seem soooo sexy in her head that on the next to last step where you ask in the form of a note if she'll be your date she's bound to be your date even after she finds out you're a fat slob. It worked for Donkeylips.

Beggars can't be choosers, this close to V-Day you are lucky to get anything human. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> V-Day ???

<pulls out a stick covered in onion marmelade> <pokes Bokishi a little> <runs away laughing maniacally>

Can we get on with the story already? And by get on I mean makeouts and by makeouts I mean doin' the deed and by doin' the deed I mean intercourse and by intercourse I mean doin' the nasty and by doin' the nasty I mean screwin' and by screwin' I mean bumpin' uglies and by bumpin' uglies I mean doin' the horizontal mambo and by doin' the horizontal mambo I mean sex.

Huh?

I think B is the best option with the utmost certainty.

The Wachowski dudes are directing the V for Vendetta movie. What is up with that guys?

You so dark! Radiohead is pretty awesome, dividing music up into genres is stupid though.