I was showing some friends a local antiques shop, and found a number of pipes. When I discovered they were only four quid each I was about to buy one. But then I realised that if I debated anyone while holding it I would automatically win. This would be unfair, so I bought a second one, which I intend to offer my interlocutors. Indeed, I will be trying to find a case for them, so I can open it and offer them a choice of weapons.
Both are from the late Edwardian period. One is a proper corncob, and the other a short briar pipe.
I am typing this while chewing on the stem of the briar. It is quite amazingly awesome.