Baley

What if I do not want everlasting salvation? What if I just want all existence to end? What if I want to join Lucifer in hell? Are those any less meaningful than hot man sex with the Jebus?

Psst: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311361/ It's better.

There is no point to life, but what we can do is enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

The Pixies - Wave of Mutilation (UK Surf) Overrated

I'm not, really Lou, we're partners, I wouldn't lie to you, we've been in the FM lodge for like 12 generations.

Well if you really want to know, I'm a member of the French Masonic Lodge, it's a family thing, not that big of a deal.

I met God once, she's an okay girl, but kind of a big jerk.

The Pixies - Crackity Jones

He's being very serious, and he blames God for it.

The most curious social convention of the great age in which we live is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected.- H. L. Mencken

I honestly believe Conservative Christians to be a far greater threat to America's continuous existence. Google.

I think Lou just wishes to inform you that you possess the worst taste in music and should, immediately, commit suicide. Nomeansno - Victory

So basically you just tell them to burn in the fires of Perkulos? That's so Finnish...

What does perkele mean? And the Turk were pretty sweet a couple of centuries ago, man Christianity ****ed us over big time.

Yeah, well, Romania's like much better cause we've got fat women, booze and loose rape laws.

Finish it.

Back on topic? The story is finished now, unless Eldar wants to continue it somehow.

I was still in chains, Limitation Lad was somewhere in the immediate vicinity, taking a piss I think, resting on a guy's crotch for over 3 hours does that to you. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa WOooooooooooooooo Waaaaaaoooooooo!!!" The voice of moribund children sent to their timeless resting place, what a ghastly sound, I said to myself as urine began to mellowly flow down my denim pants. Sawyer looked in amazement, the poor man's head was covered in a strange gooish like substance, he started snickering, he seemed so happy, so peaceful, the world had ****ed us in the ass repeatedly and there we stood, starring at each other and laughing like pregnant hausefraus. "Hey Sawyer, what the hell happened at the trial?" He was silent, he opened his mouth, I dared look inside, and what I saw shall forever haunt me, his teeth had been removed with a hammer, his tongue, a scimitar's victim, he was still looking at me, his eyes were so sad yet to so distinguished, his spirit was safe, but his body would soon pass on. I turned my head, I started looking at the faraway scenery, a deserted wasteland, no men, no plants, no children, nothing to mourn our passage, I was almost sorry to die, I felt an immense sorrow taking over my soul, the faces of all my friend and rivals, the faces of all the godless children with skinned heads and cracked skulls, these visages, it was like looking into a mirror, they were part of me. "Hello Human". A vengeful lizard interrupted my soulful journey, his breath smelled of rotten eggs and already used suppositories. A smile could be seen forming round his grotesque mouth. "Seeing as how you're like totally gonna die and ****, well, haha, heh, I was thinking about you and me, I've noticed that fine ass of yours" he was licking his lips, " how about it toots? Wanna go on the reptilian love train?" He took me by the balls, I couldn't breathe, I had to accept, there was no other way. He smiled. My chains were shattered, a free man, free to take it up the ass whenever my master requested. We went to the bushes, his dark brown eyes were dreamingly glaring at the enormous package he had briefly held in his tiny hands, a look of absolute want in his eyes, I smiled, unzipped my pants, dropped my underwear and took it up the arse, a scream of pleasure, a false pleasure, I screamed like the seraphims at Heaven's golden gate, I screamed like the woman whose children had died in the war of man, I screamed like Christ on his wooden cross of shame as the false prophets mocked the failed deity. "My turn." I said, what a youthful man, a burly mammal for whom pain was the final destination, he closed his eyes, Limitation Lad, a now gigantic uber-mensch chocked him from behind, he died, in the wasteland of broken dreams, no **** to penetrate his anus. "Took one for the team, eh?" "You've got to do, what you've got to do, that's the way of the world." "I've heard from the team, they're alive, Ninja Chick, Blade Man, Death Cat, Captain D., Kobamus, Bok, Don Jags, even Gutman himself, they're coming, TADS is coming!" I had no time to waist, it was payback time, my rapist's scimitar in my hand, underwear on my skull, a barbarian's frenzy, unstoppable rage, I was going to ****ing kill them all, TOMBS was going down, I had spoken, I had felt the untold pain creeping up my backside, I who had been beaten and humiliated, I was about to end this once and for all. Blood, a feast of blood, the angels in God's great heaven were singing their mirthful songs, they wanted me to win, they wanted to see me in action, they wanted guts and violence and sex, lots and lots of sex, drugs, sex, violence, the way of the world, I started laughing, I started crying, a cornered man with tears in his eyes, my sexual apparatus was hard, a mammoth in full swing. No men were to escape my revenge, oh sweetest carnage. "Bang!* It was him, Eldar, a gun, he had a gun, he shot me in the balls, blood all around me, oh god, oh god, oh god, I need help, someone, please, the words, my thoughts I couldn't even build sentences. A flash of light, a thunder, a scream, battle, they came, my friends, my teammates, they came, O what a day, O what a day. Foul sterile remains of vivisected beasts were surrounding Metadigital, the last of his race, Eldar's head was carefully placed on Lou's erect ****, a symphony of violence, a flute of despair. The final dilemma, what to do, the battle was over, the war was lost, humanity was no longer imprisoned, we were free, hope was with us again, we had won. Metadigital pushed a button, a small red button, a jovial smile on his face, two final words were to be said: "Good bye." He closed his eyes. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Humanity's ashes were all around me, on me, inside me, everywhere, the last man, the universe had been undone, yet I was still alive, no stars were on the sky that night, no children laughed, no adults cried, everything was still, order was restored.

"The Day The Earth Stood Still", my father's favourite film, kinda fitting, I needed answers, I needed guidance, the man whose face I could not see was wearily silent, I had heard the name Eldar before, some sort of TOMBS higher-up, when the people in power want to keep things quiet they're pretty good at it, kicks, punches, sexual assaults, you do what is needed of you, it's the world in which we live, a desolate ****ed-up place, but it's all we've got, revolution is fruitless, rebellion pointless, you obey, or at least you make'em think you obey, the mind is your only safe house. "Mister Baley?" His voice was utterly mundane. "Uh, please, just wait, give me a second, a minute, I just need to fix my head, it's all scrambled." Silence, I needed to figure out what had happened and fast, I wasn't planning on letting any of those TOMBS bastards take me alive, I knew what they do to people, poor Sawyer was probably dead already, ****ing trash. I didn't remember anything, one moment I was cheering Gutman to kick**** those wankers, the next I was in the middle of bloody anti-matter central, I was literary walking on air, nothing there, no stars, no planets, no interstellar dragons, just me and a voice. Never trust voices, you've got nothing on them. "Fine. I'll come. Where to?" "Oh, just to the end of the universe and beyond. Ha Ha" The voice broke into maniacal laughter, ****ing machine-like junkies, he had the sort of childish giggle you'd expect on a 50 cent whore. I started flying, the speed, it was incredible, I could barely form a cohesive thought, thinking about my mommy, about uncle Jack putting his erect **** up my youthful anus, I was cringing, I was alone, in a worldless universe. Inane insipid thoughts, I was in pain, a pain like no other, the pain of life over death, I felt like a God, the last corporeal being in an universe of decomposed matter. Then, it all came back, worlds, humans, monkeys, little girls with crying eyes and stolen teddys, a whole ****ing galaxy returning in a single second, I smiled, I was happy, I was secure, a man,a go... *Thud* I fell from the skies, a circle of hooded elders before me, they weren't even watching me, weren't even looking at the man that fell from high above on his now almost broken back. "Baley, my boy, how nice of you to come." "Wha?" "I see you haven't fully recovered yet, do not worry, my name is Metadigital, you could say I am the brain behind TOMBS." "What do you want from me?" "Oh nothing much, just your body, your mind and your eternal allegiance, you see my boy, we're just a bunch of intergalactic lizards, looking for fresh worlds to devour." He paused for a second and then started chuckling like a beggar that had lost his menstrual blood-stained underwear. It was quite funny in its own pitiful way. "Well you ain't getting it." I used my poker face on him, showing him the teeth my dad bought from a poor Dutchman in really tight pants. He clubbed me over the head, proceeded to undress me and savagely vandalize my bleeding arse. I awoke, my ass painfully soring, Sawyer was besides me, the poor man had been head****ed beyond belief, a dreadful sight. They had these big machines, and they were throwing people into them, now if only I could free myself, get tADS here, I know we could defeat them, if only Limitation Lad was here. Something started moving around in my underpants, it started growing, oh my ****ing god, I was in shock. Speak of the devil, there he was, the little bugger, he was sure to save me. "How long have you been there?" I asked him. "Just a couple oh hours, your balls were most moist and comfy." We both laughed. "Call the squad, fast, tell them to send Ninja Chick, she could easily crush these morons!" He did. No answer, we presumed the league had been destroyed and with it, the last hope mankind had for survival. Part 3 to come.

Uh, well yes, but that doesn't really answer my question.

Since The Corporation is a POS, do you want to end it or should I?

Three little men, that was all it took, all it took to judge a man's life, to pass judgment on his most private thoughts and beliefs, we are all aware that man is a social machine, a finely toned animal whose sole purpose is to spread its vile poison, that is why TOMBS exists, to brainwash the innocent and protect the secrets it once swore to never forget. My name is Damascus Baley, I'm a private ****, I've been part of the TADS firm for years, we are one of the few organizations that dares dream of a better future, one free of the corruption that has spread it's tentacles around our homely little world. We are the divine guardians of morals, we are the old gods and the new demons, the darkness that never comes, the light that is never seen, we are the children of man and the fathers of beasts, we live so we can inspire our brothers to commit the most heinous of crimes, self - servility. It was a cold morning in Obsidian city, the wind was sweetly caressing my forehead as I was holding a pint of bear in my right hand, the city moved at its stale pace, birds flew, men killed, women raped, children ****ed, everyone was happy in Obsidian city. Except a man named Sawyer, the TOMBS squad had taken him away, it was in all the newspapers, probably holding one of their clandestine trials, it wasn't my business, no reason to get all emo on these guys, I was just gonna sit there and drink my booze, I was just going to sit there... **BOOM! BOOM!** "What the hell?" It was them, the beast of northern glaciers, Dark Raven, Master Revan, Deadly Nightshade, the last 3 rebels, smug terrorist with crooked badges round their necks, I hated their ****ing guts, moralizing piglets in a world of harsh realists, If only I had a gun. **BOOM! BOOM!** The buildings, they were detonating the ****ing buildings, "Think Baley, think!" Nothing, my mind was empty, I was starting to see the hollow dead in the hills beyond Oblivion, they were laughing at us, brainwashed ****tards with big sticks and tiny brains, making puerile noises from afar, I wanted to violate their ****ing heads with my twenty inch ****. **Bang! Bang!** It was Lou Gutman, on his crimson horse, galloping at a devilish speed towards the terrorists of stone and ice. What a marvellous image of human potency, what glory and what passion, his golden hair was breaking the bonds of gravity enslaved. Tears were flowing down my cheeks! "Show them Lou! Show them!" **BOOM! BOOM!**BOOM! BOOM!**BOOM! BOOM!**BOOM! BOOM!** The whole world went boom boom boom! An atomic weapon? A Magic missile? What demonic assault they had freed upon the world I did not know, but the consequences of their actions were easy to foresee. The whole Universe was trapped in a bubble of condensed hatred. I heard a voice. "Hello Mister Baley." "Who are you?" "It's me, Eldar, I am here, we're waiting for you Mister Baley, we're all wet for you, we want you with us Mister Baley, come to us!" I trembled, what magic was this? I was afraid, shivering with pale anguish, I loved the danger, I loved the sense of impending doom, I wanted it all inside me like a gigantic dildo of human flesh. "What is this place?" I said to the voice that called itself Eldar. The Corporation part 2 on TV, I'll finish it when I get back.

Give me a sec.

You know Blank, acting all pompous and intellectually superior might be interesting at first, and it might make the newbies think more of you, but I do indeed wonder if you still believe that AIDS is God's majestic gift to the vile homosexuals of the world. But thank you for your continuous unwanted assists, I'm sure you're making a big difference on this forum. God bless you! And here, some of the worst poetry I've ever read, just for you!

16 Horsepower - Ruthie Lingle