No way should there be an "official" anything. The whole point is that you can choose...if we didn't have the choice to impose our own idea of Revan on the character if wouldn't be a friggin game, just a series of FMVs. Everyone will have their own idea of Revan's gender, appearance and personality and they are all valid. Who cares what some database says?
I liked the fact that you could set Revan's past in The Sith Lords, even if the gender thing was as buggy as hell, they tried to accomodate the choices we had to make.