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Posted

I was going to input some funny quotes from Fallout / Monkey Island to which there are  myriad of. I instead opted for a more

seriouse epitaph in the eventuality i should die TONIGHT!

*Stands at attention*  So I could be remembered for generations * salutes*

Build a man a fire, and he will be warm for a day...

Set a man on fire and he will be warm the rest of his life...

Posted

Haha, I was pondering this as well.

 

Decided to go with my favorite encounter in the first Baldur's Gate game. There was this area to the west-and-south of a town with this random NPC (called Beggar) roaming around. He'd grumble about something and every now and then when you'd click him he'd cough and hack and weeze and state:

 

"...M-my lung! I-it's flopping all over the dirt! Damn."

Posted

"A VIP is waiting here... since a long time... but who care his name..."

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ I ' M ★  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ B L A C K S T A R   ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 

Posted

I think they should be something similar to what the Infinity games had. Here are some examples from Baldur's Gate and Arcanum.

 

 

"I told you I was sick!"

 

"There once was a man named Don,

who fell asleep on his lawn.

They thought he was pretending to be dead,

then a tombstone fell on his head.

And now Don is long gone."

 

"Here lies Kelly, an Atheist

All dressed up

And no place to go"

 

"Hey who blew out the candle? Hello?"

 

"Ray-

who said, "This damn game will be...

the death of me!""

 

"There was a light at the end of the tunnel, unfortunately that light was a train."

 

"Dave F. Slain by 13 Gibberlings, 4 Kobolds, 6 Ogres and 2 Dire Wolves. Ne invoces expellere non possis."

(Do not call up that which you cannot put down.)

 

"Here lies John W:

looked up the mine shaft

to see if the cart was on the way down.

It was."

 

"Here lies Henrik.

Who was fatally burned

13 Mirtul, 1358,

by the explosion of a lamp

filled with "P.J. Stanford's

Non-Explosive Burning Fluid""

 

 

Fire up BG and go check Nashkel graveyard for more if you want. In the end it is up to you and it does not have to be funny.

Posted

Here's the full list of epitaphs from Betrayal at Krondor (third column, first is what you get by digging up the grave :D ). The first game I played which had epitaphs. It doesn't have to be long to be memorable, I think it's quite the opposite...

 

"His end justified the means."

 

"Sleep, sweet. Sweet sleep."

 

"Lost at dice. Lost his temper. Lost his life."

 

"Had a nasty Alement."
 

  • Like 1

The Seven Blunders/Roots of Violence: Wealth without work. Pleasure without conscience. Knowledge without character. Commerce without morality. Science without humanity. Worship without sacrifice. Politics without principle. (Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi)

 

Let's Play the Pools Saga (SSI Gold Box Classics)

Pillows of Enamored Warfare -- The Zen of Nodding

 

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Hmm. The last post in this thread was the 23rd of Jan, but the first was in 2013...

Well, I hope my first post isn't a rule-breaking necro!

 

I've just been thwarted by the word limit, which I really should have checked before composing my little ode.

Since it's too long for an in-game epitaph, I'll share it with you guys here. Then it's off to write a far shorter one.

 

Almost too little common ground,
Had old Lucain with plebs from dale,
To seat a single blade of grass...
But still the wizard had me round,
And would spin me a twisting tale,
The lonesome evenings to pass.
In later years a closer pair,
From Telaneir to Maiden Falls,
Though else despised, you'd nary find...
When Lucain loosed his last of air,
I saw him interred to these halls,
My gladness left with him behind.
-- Asirc the misshapen, friend of Lucain.

  • 6 months later...
Posted
"Sergeant," asked the old man,

           "I've come to See my son."

"There," said the sergeant,

           "There he lies across his gun."

"Across his gun, you say?

           Then Johnny stood his ground?"

"He stood there like a rock

           until they cut him down."

The old man left, his John

           part of the battle won.

"Yes," said the sergeant,

           "John was too damned dumb to run."

 
Chicken, chicken, chicken;

           Hoorah for Johnny Zero!

He wasn't worth a **** alive;

           but dead he is a hero...

 
from The Tomorrow Testament by Barry B. Longyear, p.7

 

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