Raithe Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 "Skipping details like whether science could actually do it or the country could pay for it, JFK declared that by 1970 America would put at least one guy on the moon then (as a recruiting tool) bring him back alive. We weren't around, but we've always pictured the NASA guys hearing that and doing spit takes. At any rate, America's best and brightest nerds had a decade-minus to cash the check JFK's mouth had written. Kennedy himself then busied himself with other affairs of state, like Marilyn Monroe...." "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monte Carlo Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 I had to copy this out by hand, rather than copy paste, so have a read: The 71st Infantry Division was attacking on all sides the grain stores which were being defended by the Russian soldiers. After three days the defenders sent a radio message to their commanders...'We have no food' The answer was 'Fight, then you will forget your hunger.' Three days later they transmitted again: 'We no longer have anything to drink, what are we to do?' And back came the reply: 'Now is the time to live on your wits and your ammunition' The defenders waited for two days and then came the last message. 'We no longer have any ammunition'. Hardly five minutes had passed and they had their reply: 'The Soviet Union thanks you, you have served your purpose.' Quoted in 'Hero or Coward' by Elmar Dinter. Or, as Stalin famously said, "It's takes a brave man not to be a hero in the Red Army." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaftan Barlast Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 "My Lord Hamlet, may I use your bathroom?" -Winston Churchill to Richard Burton DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted April 6, 2010 Author Share Posted April 6, 2010 Sir David Niven to the troops he led on D-Day during the beach approach : ""Look, you chaps only have to do this once. But I'll have to do it all over again in Hollywood with Errol Flynn!" Asked by suspicious American sentries during the Battle of the Bulge who had won the World Series in 1943, Niven replied: "Haven't the foggiest idea . . . But I did co-star with Ginger Rogers in Bachelor Mother!" "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monte Carlo Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 I urge people to read The Moon's a Balloon even if they haven't a clue who David Niven was. It's laugh-out-loud funny and beautifully written. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted April 7, 2010 Author Share Posted April 7, 2010 "A man may fight for many things. His country, his friends, his principles, the glistening ear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a sack of French porn. " - Blackadder, "Something is always wrong, Balders. The fact that I am not a millionaire aristocrat with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino is a constant niggle." - Blackadder, "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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