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Let's create the worst fantasy setting ever.


Monte Carlo

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How many prestige classes does that make now? I make seven. Perhaps there should be only a single base class - Useless Hobo - which has access to all of the low-level requirements for prestige classes, so you simply have to decide which of the eight-billion prestige classes to multiclass with.

 

That's actually a pretty good idea and should therefore be avoided.

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The existence of paper buildings on Bowl World creates intriguing possibilities, not least the Papier Mache Master, a warrior who can Bend Paper to His Will! His arch-enemy is the Origami Summoner, a feral sorcerer who can spew forth millions of tiny folded up demons to do his bidding. The slums of Rimtip are known for producing the greatest Summoners on the whole of Bowl World, beings who can turn a two-up-two down cardboard hovel into a ravaging horde of tiny paper demons!

 

The Warrior Maidens of Laaaa experienced a major doctrinal schism when their grand War-Mistress, Vixonia XVIII, hired a mercenary army of Papier Mache Masters to assault the paper walls. Their subsequent conduct in the slums of Rimtip caused a major reputation loss, leading to the formation of the Fell Order of Warrior Hags (all of whom obtained the Harlequin Death-Jester Ninja prestige class).

 

I hope someone is writing all this down for the splat-book.

And the Rimtip are always scared of the amazing enemies from beyond the edge of the world (to them) that have *gasp* steel blades!

Yes, the horrifying races from the SPIRAL plane, known as the ZOMBOCOM and the OBMOZCOM. Originally they were a single race, farmed by the interdimensional empire of some humanoid-eating birds called the Stymphalides, until the brothers ZOMBO and OBMOZ rebelled and overthrew the Stymphalides with the terrifying power of knives. Then, at the Declaration of the Two Sites, ZOMBO and OBMOZ split, and so did their races. Now, the ZOMBOCOM inhabit the centre of the Spiral, in what is known as the Viral City, while the OBMOZ live on the outer spiral. Neither is able to attack the other, though, except on primary planes, because of the constant twirling, twirling, twirling.

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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The existence of paper buildings on Bowl World creates intriguing possibilities, not least the Papier Mache Master, a warrior who can Bend Paper to His Will! His arch-enemy is the Origami Summoner, a feral sorcerer who can spew forth millions of tiny folded up demons to do his bidding. The slums of Rimtip are known for producing the greatest Summoners on the whole of Bowl World, beings who can turn a two-up-two down cardboard hovel into a ravaging horde of tiny paper demons!

 

The Warrior Maidens of Laaaa experienced a major doctrinal schism when their grand War-Mistress, Vixonia XVIII, hired a mercenary army of Papier Mache Masters to assault the paper walls. Their subsequent conduct in the slums of Rimtip caused a major reputation loss, leading to the formation of the Fell Order of Warrior Hags (all of whom obtained the Harlequin Death-Jester Ninja prestige class).

 

I hope someone is writing all this down for the splat-book.

And the Rimtip are always scared of the amazing enemies from beyond the edge of the world (to them) that have *gasp* steel blades!

Yes, the horrifying races from the SPIRAL plane, known as the ZOMBOCOM and the OBMOZCOM. Originally they were a single race, farmed by the interdimensional empire of some humanoid-eating birds called the Stymphalides, until the brothers ZOMBO and OBMOZ rebelled and overthrew the Stymphalides with the terrifying power of knives. Then, at the Declaration of the Two Sites, ZOMBO and OBMOZ split, and so did their races. Now, the ZOMBOCOM inhabit the centre of the Spiral, in what is known as the Viral City, while the OBMOZ live on the outer spiral. Neither is able to attack the other, though, except on primary planes, because of the constant twirling, twirling, twirling.

not even knives... safety scissors!

Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition!

 

Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.

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The existence of paper buildings on Bowl World creates intriguing possibilities, not least the Papier Mache Master, a warrior who can Bend Paper to His Will! His arch-enemy is the Origami Summoner, a feral sorcerer who can spew forth millions of tiny folded up demons to do his bidding. The slums of Rimtip are known for producing the greatest Summoners on the whole of Bowl World, beings who can turn a two-up-two down cardboard hovel into a ravaging horde of tiny paper demons!

 

The Warrior Maidens of Laaaa experienced a major doctrinal schism when their grand War-Mistress, Vixonia XVIII, hired a mercenary army of Papier Mache Masters to assault the paper walls. Their subsequent conduct in the slums of Rimtip caused a major reputation loss, leading to the formation of the Fell Order of Warrior Hags (all of whom obtained the Harlequin Death-Jester Ninja prestige class).

 

I hope someone is writing all this down for the splat-book.

And the Rimtip are always scared of the amazing enemies from beyond the edge of the world (to them) that have *gasp* steel blades!

Yes, the horrifying races from the SPIRAL plane, known as the ZOMBOCOM and the OBMOZCOM. Originally they were a single race, farmed by the interdimensional empire of some humanoid-eating birds called the Stymphalides, until the brothers ZOMBO and OBMOZ rebelled and overthrew the Stymphalides with the terrifying power of knives. Then, at the Declaration of the Two Sites, ZOMBO and OBMOZ split, and so did their races. Now, the ZOMBOCOM inhabit the centre of the Spiral, in what is known as the Viral City, while the OBMOZ live on the outer spiral. Neither is able to attack the other, though, except on primary planes, because of the constant twirling, twirling, twirling.

not even knives... safety scissors!

:ermm:

Safety scissors it is.

 

Oh, both the ZOMBOCOM and the OBMOZCOM have a philosophy of freedom and the total perfectibility of their races that borders on anarchy without ever actually becoming it, thanks to their strict caste systems and horrendous xenophobia. They also look almost identical.

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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This is becoming too interesting and innovative.

 

Get back to the generic and the cliche, people.

 

One of the characters has to find an elf-made sword of unfathomable power during the journey.

Edited by Oblarg

"The universe is a yawning chasm, filled with emptiness and the puerile meanderings of sentience..." - Ulyaoth

 

"It is all that is left unsaid upon which tragedies are built." - Kreia

 

"I thought this forum was for Speculation & Discussion, not Speculation & Calling People Trolls." - lord of flies

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I think al crates and barrels should contain a slightly smaller crate or barrel. Ad infinitum.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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There should also be a horde-like army of orcs and undead led by a knight dressed in black ornate armour riding a scary-horse. He found his Greatsword of Hate +5 in a barrel... in hell. He, indeed, is intent of ENSLAVING NATIONS WITH NECROMANCY.

 

He is the thrall of the Narco-Lich and I open his name up to the floor. Dave The Evil One is too mundane, although it's a start. He's too buff for the Harlequin Death Ninja prestige class, he is something far more badass, so badass in fact that nobody else can achieve even one level in it because if they did their brain would melt. A name for this class too, would be helpful.

 

I will include all this in the 44th Bowl World splat book, "Dave's Compendium of Evil Warrior Stuff."

sonsofgygax.JPG

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How about Lologotharik The Dread Necromancer of the Foul, Pestilent Pit?

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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I think al crates and barrels should contain a slightly smaller crate or barrel. Ad infinitum.

It's no use if all crates contain only smaller versions of themselves. No motivation to open them, see? One crate in the world should contain a unique item vital to the protagonist's quest. This forces him to open every crate he encounters, potentially consuming weeks of his and the reader's/gamer's lives.

"An electric puddle is not what I need right now." (Nina Kalenkov)

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(Mage) Spells are only invented/developed by people with extremely silly names, and are then named after them; however, once they have invented/name one spell they can't invent or name any others. So your lvl1 light spell is called:

 

Prackajam's Luminiferous Orb

 

Other first level spells include:

 

Lady Smackduck's Ineffectual Decay

Huffblurgle's Irrelevant Explosion

Overtump's Spittle of Slight Annoyance

Spindrum's Wimpy Shield

Brother Tuckunder's Extraordinary Eyebrows

Thingummy's Ineluctable Memory-Loss

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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I think al crates and barrels should contain a slightly smaller crate or barrel. Ad infinitum.

It's no use if all crates contain only smaller versions of themselves. No motivation to open them, see? One crate in the world should contain a unique item vital to the protagonist's quest. This forces him to open every crate he encounters, potentially consuming weeks of his and the reader's/gamer's lives.

 

You mean like in Neverwinter Nights 1 OC?

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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From The Compendium of Bowl World Loot & Treasure (Splat Book 37), Monte Carlo publishing, $49.99 (softback):

 

Bowl World is noted for the large number of crates and barrels littered over it's strangely bowl-shaped landscape. Some of them are trapped, and glow red as a warning. Others contain a couple of gold coins and a hand axe, although a far larger number contain returning frost darts.

 

And, from the Tome of Bowl World Lore and Mystic Miscellany (Splat Book 68), MC publishing, $69.99 (hardback):

 

The lowest circle of hell on the outer planes of Bowl World is Cratehalla, an eternal, misty dirge-like place full of containers to be opened for infinity. The containers often contain nothing of interest, not even a returning frost dart.

Edited by Monte Carlo

sonsofgygax.JPG

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From The Compendium of Bowl World Loot & Treasure (Splat Book 37), Monte Carlo publishing, $49.99 (softback):

 

Bowl World is noted for the large number of crates and barrels littered over it's strangely bowl-shaped landscape. Some of them are trapped, and glow red as a warning. Others contain a couple of gold coins and a hand axe, although a far larger number contain returning frost darts.

It is rumoured that somewhere on Bowl World there is a crate containing a Dread +96 Adamandtheanzum True Keen Sword of Infinite Goodness vs. Narcoleptic Liches, also known by it's name of Doomsinger. But that's rumours for you - the truth is, it's in a barrel.

This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.

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