...happened to me this morning, and I thought I would share it with everyone.

 

When I woke up, I was covered with spiderwebs. Covered. My wife, sleeping right next to me, did not have a single one on her. When I informed her of the situation, she freaked the hell out, as I was myself rather on the verge of doing, and despite a good hour and a half of hunting - I even called in to work to tell 'em I'd be late - we couldn't find a single spider. I am at home once more, but I think I might spend the night in a hotel.

 

Commisar is Spiderman!

 

Dude, you must use your newly found powers to fight crime in the mean streets of Long Island!

When I woke up, I was covered with spiderwebs.  Covered. 

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I suggest that they weren't cobwebs but the residue of a night spent sniffing glue.

 

Or perhaps it was your cocoon.

Your house is haunted

Weirdest things that happen with me usually involves animals, but arachnids would slight creep me out. Are you sure your wife isn't playing a joke on you?

That sucks. Atleast you didn't inhale one.

Maybe they crawled in your ears and are eating your brains?

Could be why his sinuses hurt.

That would mean the spiders have crawled up his nose. Me, I blame this one on the Liliputians or cobbler gnomes. Leave a pair of worn out shoes near your bed.

LSD and PCP tend to make a person hallucinate.

No it wouldn't. They crawl in his year, eat through his brain and the wall between the frontal lobe and the eye sockets, then they lay eggs in his sinuses. As the ittle bitty spiders grow they cause pressure behind his eyes and forehead. :D

Weirdest things that happen with me usually involves animals, but arachnids would slight creep me out.  Are you sure your wife isn't playing a joke on you?

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Yes. It wouldn't occur to her, 'cause she's terrified of spiders.

Or it wouldnt occur to you because she knows you know that she has a bit of arachnophobia.

Weird. Absolutely weird. The only thing to do is go to sleep again and see if it happens again. Just make the wife sleep on your side of the bed. hahahaha

Weird.  Absolutely weird.  The only thing to do is go to sleep again and see if it happens again.  Just make the wife sleep on your side of the bed.  hahahaha

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What if they eat me this time?

Oh, they won't eat you. They'll bite you and you'll probably just have some spider bites. Of course, if you're allergic to spider bites, you might not wake up. Just make sure you have an epi-pen and your wife knows how to use it.

 

Seriously, you're probably just going to have to tough it out until next week. It's not any worse than being in the field. I'm sure you've had to deal with all sorts of crawling critters.

Oh, they won't eat you.  They'll bite you and you'll probably just have some spider bites.  Of course, if you're allergic to spider bites, you might not wake up.  Just make sure you have an epi-pen and your wife knows how to use it.

 

Seriously, you're probably just going to have to tough it out until next week.  It's not any worse than being in the field.  I'm sure you've had to deal with all sorts of crawling critters.

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Yeah, I ain't allergic to them, but we've got poisonous varities around here. And it's significantly different than being in the field, you bastard. This is my house, g'damnit.

 

Edit: Those camel spiders over there, by the way? Like something out of a horror movie.

Edited January 1, 200620 yr by Commissar

What kinds of poisonous spideys do you have over there Spiderman?

 

We've got Brown Recluses and Black Widders here.

What kinds of poisonous spideys do you have over there Spiderman?

 

We've got Brown Recluses and Black Widders here.

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Same, and I believe wolf spiders, too. I've been doing research for an hour or so while I stand watch.

 

Women are great, guys.

hehehehe Comedy. I dunno. It would drive me crazy, but I still don't see a solution until you manage to get pest control out there. I don't think that's happening earlier than Monday and probably no earlier than Tuesday.

 

Our variety of poisonous spiders, true for Child also, don't tend to like being in a house. They'd rather be in some dark area like a garage or some such. Their webs tend to be assymetrical. Hopefully you don't have any poisonous variety actually in your home. Even so, most poisonous spiders where we live, on the west coast, aren't going to kill you with one bite. They'll probably just make you really sick. On the other hand, I wouldn't put that to the test. Doesn't sound very pleasant.

Dames are nothing but trouble.

Black widows can make themselves very at home in a cupboard. One time my dad opened up the cupboard and was fumbling around for a glass in the dark, turned on the light, big ol' black widder sitting under the glass he has his hand on and is about to pull out of the cupboard. Damned if he knows how it got under there to this day.

hehehehe  Comedy.  I dunno.  It would drive me crazy, but I still don't see a solution until you manage to get pest control out there.  I don't think that's happening earlier than Monday and probably no earlier than Tuesday.

 

Our variety of poisonous spiders, true for Child also, don't tend to like being in a house.  They'd rather be in some dark area like a garage or some such.  Their webs tend to be assymetrical.  Hopefully you don't have any poisonous variety actually in your home.  Even so, most poisonous spiders where we live, on the west coast, aren't going to kill you with one bite.  They'll probably just make you really sick.  On the other hand, I wouldn't put that to the test.  Doesn't sound very pleasant.

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You know, I always thought the worst sleeping experience with insects I'd ever have was a BOQ in Florida. Woke up with two roaches running around in my hand, and I'd feel them running across my face all night. And Florida roaches are huge. I think I'd prefer that to this, though.

 

What I don't understand is what the hell this spider(s) was up to.

Also, Black Widows at least are near impossible to kill aside from running up and smooshing them.

 

If you use bug bombs or bug spray, they slow their damned metabolisms and close up their breathing holes (ventricles is the corect term I believe) until the poison has dissisipated, then walk off. Course they curl up like they're dead while they're doing this, so you don't know they lived until you come back to where you sprayed down eight or so of them an hour ago and not a one is there still.

We have tons of black widows here. There's always one in our house somewhere.

 

Cobwebs all over you in the morning...that is freaky.

"They're coming to get yoooouu, Commissar."