Baley Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 "Musopticon?" The tall, fat woman shouted at the alabaster wall. "Sweetest lover, why must you hide yourself from me? Have I not been a caring wife, a daring mistress, a skillful chef?" She moaned alone, gripping the wall with her long, stygian hands. "Come forth, my love, embrace you faith, forget your dreams, forsake your hopes, what's life without sacrifice? What's life without anguish and grief?" Closing her eyes, as she wailed her blasphemous words. "Have you, so facilely, renounced your human urges? Does my ample bosom no longer entice?" She groaned, a wild boar in women's clothes, awaiting resolution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musopticon? Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Aah, what would be life like if the warden of my hopes, the caretaker of my dreams, Baley, wouldn't flaunt his pleonasmic manhood from time to time? It would be perilous, I tell you. Perilous and absolutely mirthless! kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baley Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Adventitiously so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepixiesrock Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Oh, you guys and your vocabulary. Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdangerOne billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Moth Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Sesquipedalians are fun, aren't they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petay Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Sounds like some wild squid cult.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musopticon? Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 I kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baley Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 O, what a venturesome contrivance, vivacious in its inherent elementariness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musopticon? Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 How can anything be vivacious when it's merely elementary? kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Moth Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Anyone need a report? I'm itching to do another one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musopticon? Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Me! ME! Do me. kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Moth Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 (edited) Hmm... Edited January 29, 2006 by Mothman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petay Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Anyone need a report? I'm itching to do another one. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Feel free to do me anytime, I'm willing to be done more than once Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baley Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 How can anything be vivacious when it's merely elementary? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> At times, the most rudimentary of things prove to be vivacious beyond mere human grasp. Simplicity is only a fa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Launch Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 Call me crazy, but I believe DL is who she says she is. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I really don't care if there are those that would prefer to consider me as something that I'm not... like Mr. Eldar points out, who knows if I'm really a hairy truckdriver pretending to be female student? As long as no one is rude to me without reason then I don't have a problem... why would anyone treat a 60 year old man with any more or any less respect to that of a 21 year old girl? [color=gray][i]OO-TINI![/i][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Moth Posted January 29, 2006 Share Posted January 29, 2006 (edited) Good point, but then again, the internet is full of weirdos. But if it makes you feel any better, you're a Miss Launch to me. ^_^ Edited January 30, 2006 by Mothman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musopticon? Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Good point, but then again, the internet is full of weirdos. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blank Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 *Enters. Looks around and laughs. Wonders why he never came here before.* So. I have finally arrived here. It took a lot of time and boredom, but I randomly peeked at this thread. I am impressed by the cards and reports. and i am hard-pressed to believe that i could do one of even mediocre caliber. Eldar, thank you for the report. it was quite enjoyable. and that comment you made, about how you can get away with saying anything about me since i don't frequent these parts, finally caught up with you By the way, DL, i am proud to be one of your plebe monkeys, and i'll just assume that you are female. there is a lot of evidence anyway. Although, if you were a senile 60 year-old man, you would instantly be my best friend, and one of the more impressive people i would have met. since you would have done an amazing job faking your identity. So, old man, if you ever need a best friend, just one PM proving the truth and i will be yours. (best friend that is, read the sentence again, it makes sense) Star Trek DS9 anyone? Cpt. Sisko and Dax? i should call DL 'old man' now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baley Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 The subject of this T.O.M.B.S. report is Baley "It's a bloody monkey!" That all too familiar voice shouted in its neurotic fashion. One could think old Bob was insane, of course to reach that most educated conclusion, one would first have to hear him speak. That might be a little tricky, seeing how Bobby-boy resides in a particularly outlandish portion of my subconscious. Now, I'm not one to shun a charming fellow with ease, especially one as well-versed as Bob, but the brain is a very, shall we say, private endeavour. Peculiarly long story short, there are times, I tire of his tender presence. "Chimpanzee, to be precise." I calmly corrected my distressed companion. "Big [insert naughty word]-ing deal. It's an animal, A-Ni-Mal." The poor chap was clearly trying to subdue his primal urge to yell, yelling is so ungentlemanly, and Bob has standards, superficially amoral standards, but standards still. "I'm sure (emphasis on sure, you don't want an angry Bob in your head, think of all the careless mayhem that might ensue) we can work this out, we're brilliant, remember? Flattery will get you everything ...and more..." (of everything, which is still everything, but with a Bob in your head, everything+1 has a whole different meaning all together). "Yes, yes, you can use all those pretentious words you aimlessly throw around these days." The voice was civil, soothing and smooth, which was notably strange in itself. (When a Bob is anywhere in the vicinity of the word "calm", it is best to hope for the worst, the worst, in this case being quiet extirpation from one's own brain.) "It mustn't be extensive, nor distinctly intellectual. Simple, short and mediocre, the road to any public worker's heart." (Note that the author, in all his peerless glory and majestic understanding, is not in any way referring to Romanian professors for whom he has only the greatest of respect.) "Chimp, posing, green background, feeling intellectually superior to the common beasties. Lies and Fabulations!" He yelled (oh my!). Feelings? Bah, the only feeling they get is bestial arousal!" It appears that Bob had crossed that line a Bob should definitely not cross. "Genius! By gods (note that the author does not in fact believe in gods, God or anything in between for that matter), you've done it! Perfection." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantousent Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 Don't make me pull out my poison pen! Fionavar's Holliday Wishes to all members of our online community: Happy Holidays Join the revelry at the Obsidian Plays channel:Obsidian Plays Remembering tarna, Phosphor, Metadigital, and Visceris. Drink mead heartily in the halls of Valhalla, my friends! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepixiesrock Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Dude, he'll do it man, he'll do it! He's crazy! Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdangerOne billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petay Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 Just the picture does it for me in that report. I read to that and got no further. Simply genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kor Qel Droma Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 (edited) The subject of todays (belated) review is Jaguars4ever. I would like to start by saying this has been one hell of a tough report. How do you put forum excellence into words? Can a few meager paragraphs sum up the contributions of one of our most beloved members? The answer is no on both counts. For those of you who don't know who Jags is...wake up!! Look through his profile, click on 'find members topics'. Then avoid drinking/eating/consuming anything in front of your computer. Don Jaguar is T.O.M.B.S. royalty, no doubtabout it. One of the more tenured members of the board, Jags always has something to contribute, whether its remotely serious, sympathetic, or plain downright enlightening. I mean c'mon, aren't we all a little better off with Gizoogle? If I had to make personalized epitaphs for the Don, they would go like this: ------------- PURE GOLD Unofficial member of both the mob and the Simpson family Owner of the best boobie avatar ever seen in this forum ------------- In all honesty I can't keep track of how many times Jags has cracked me up. Or kept me up late playing X-Men Legends 2 online. If you ever need an online Wolverine, Jags is your man. Hands down. And he doesn't even lose it when you fastball special him into a wall in the middle of combat! Thats class, baby. I don't feel it's fair to give the reviewee number scores on attributes. Because simply put he transcends any measure of measurement. Chutzpah? Give him a ten out of five. Annoyance? Puh-leeze. Will? Unshakeable. Charisma? Off the charts. Maybe anyone reading this should take a minute to remember their favorite Jaguars4ever moment. There has been too many to mention here. I can remember a particular thread where Jags, like, totally lost it on a certain artist who happened to have their own thread. It wasn't pretty, but the worst part was not that said artist left our boards never to be seen again, it was the period of time following said incident where Jags was relegated to moderated status. Sad period indeed. Right or wrong, he took a stand and stuck with it. Which leads to another great point about the Don. He calls it like he sees it. Dare to debate? Put on your thinking cap. Try to flame him? Get ready for a battle. It's true, he's mellowed a touch, but the fangs never dull on this beast. Check out some of these great quotes: I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. All you do is moan and whine like a $10 whore who just got offered a top offer of $5 bucks. (jedimaster1141 @ May 27 2004, 04:43 PM) hey jaquars4ever i get enough s*** in school about proper english i dont need that crap when i get home its a computer forum not a college paper all do what i want dumbass And your completely irrelevant point is...? Besides, I'm not being rude - you really are stupid! Allright, the well is empty. Feel free to share some of the Jagslove amongst yourselves. This reviewer apologizes for being completely biased. I could write something bad about Jags, but I have great fear of swimming with cement shoes... :ph34r: Edited February 2, 2006 by Kor Qel Droma Jaguars4ever is still alive. No word of a lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blank Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 i enjoyed that report. it was accurate to my own thoughts about Jags. I can remember a particular thread where Jags, like, totally lost it on a certain artist who happened to have their own thread. It wasn't pretty, but the worst part was not that said artist left our boards never to be seen again, it was the period of time following said incident where Jags was relegated to moderated status. Sad period indeed. Right or wrong, he took a stand and stuck with it. was that Eisu or Aimo? or another? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kor Qel Droma Posted February 2, 2006 Share Posted February 2, 2006 To tell the truth I think both of them right after each other, so... Jaguars4ever is still alive. No word of a lie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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