Diogo Ribeiro Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Crusader Nabbed By Michigan Cops Medieval sword, mallet, armor no match for ye olde Taser AUGUST 5--Meet Robert McClain. The Michigan man, 42, was arrested last week after he attempted to literally go medieval on cops. According to the below Royal Oak Police Department report, officers were dispatched to McClain's home after a motorist called 911 to report that McClain had fled the scene of an auto accident. When they arrived at his crib, McClain allegedly tried to strike a cop with a four-foot sword. After missing, McClain retreated to his basement, where he donned a chainmail armored vest and leather gauntlets to protect his arms. He also added a giant wooden mallet to his arsenal and beckoned officers to come downstairs and get him. "I'm gonna crush your ****ing skulls," McClain warned. Then, in a nice rhetorical flourish (for a lunatic, at least), he added, "I have a thousand years of power." That omnipotence, however, was no match for a police Taser, which felled McClain. He was then carted off and charged with felony assault and a misdemeanor count for failing to remain at an accident scene. Source
SteveThaiBinh Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 A thousand years of power, eh? Highlander fan? Or a history graduate? Or perhaps the result of fantasy RPGs. I blame D&D - GTA has been getting far too much attention these days, it's time the world remembered who's really corrupting our youth. "An electric puddle is not what I need right now." (Nina Kalenkov)
Cantousent Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 If only he'd been a Classicist, he'd have brandished a spanish sword and called upon Zeus. He'd still have gotten his backside tasered, but it would have gone down with more class. Fionavar's Holliday Wishes to all members of our online community: Happy Holidays Join the revelry at the Obsidian Plays channel:Obsidian Plays Remembering tarna, Phosphor, Metadigital, and Visceris. Drink mead heartily in the halls of Valhalla, my friends!
Atreides Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Tasers are the bomb. I think if he weilded a katana the cops would have been forced to call the mecha squad for backup. Spreading beauty with my katana.
Kaftan Barlast Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 He forgot the shield! How can you possibly hope to stand up towards the Sheriff's men without a shield? DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "
EnderAndrew Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 I agree. Sword and shield rock as a combo. If you don't believe me, go down to the SCA, get school and find out.
Musopticon? Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Flashbombs, blackjack. Nuff said. kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds
kirottu Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 I think if he weilded a katana the cops would have been forced to call the mecha squad for backup. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Only Tokyo police has mecha squad. This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time.
Laozi Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Well given the mallet, or warhammer, he was probaly a dwarf, inwhich case he should hve had a higher resistance to electric shock People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.
WinterSun Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Maybe he was a half-dwarf:none of their strengths and all of their weaknesses master of my domain Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.
Darkside Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Flashbombs, blackjack. Nuff said. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And moss arrows. Can't forget those.
Authority Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 Maybe he was a half-dwarf:none of their strengths and all of their weaknesses <{POST_SNAPBACK}> A Midget? "Thoughtcrime is death. Thoughtcrime does not entail death. Thoughtcrime is death."
metadigital Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 If he really knew his stuff, he would have gone into battle mounted on a steed. Police still use horsies to break up riots; it's surprising how fast people can move when half-a-tonne of sixteen-hands-high, glue-and-salami-to-be comes thundering at them ... then he could have quoted some classic Shakespeare ... (The Tragedy of King Richard III, Act V, Scene iv, for example, after he falls off ...) OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT
kumquatq3 Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 on a slightly related note: I love the D&D spoofs on Reno 911
jodo kast 5 Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 That is so cool. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> @Gabbs:You going to date him Gabbs? " @Everyone:Man thats freakin hysterical , stupid idiot!
Dark Moth Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 I agree. The fool should have used plate armor, a shield, and sword of +2 power.
metadigital Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 Sounds like he had cursed chainmail of -5 Intelligence ... OBSCVRVM PER OBSCVRIVS ET IGNOTVM PER IGNOTIVS OPVS ARTIFICEM PROBAT
Laozi Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 on a slightly related note: I love the D&D spoofs on Reno 911 <{POST_SNAPBACK}> those are pretty funny. Unfortantly that guy probaly doesn't even play D&D, his problems probaly aren't anywhere close to as humorous. People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair.
Calax Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Cue the 8bit dnd. "I CAST MAGIC MISSLE" I think two scimitars beats a sword and shield. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.
Master_Vrook Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 I would have gotten a bunch of buddies and used an impossible to defeat phalanx formation.
Kaftan Barlast Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 In other stories... " <{POST_SNAPBACK}> "I live in a world of cold steel, and dungeons, and mighty foes." :D DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "
Cantousent Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 Uh oh... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ain't that the truth? Fionavar's Holliday Wishes to all members of our online community: Happy Holidays Join the revelry at the Obsidian Plays channel:Obsidian Plays Remembering tarna, Phosphor, Metadigital, and Visceris. Drink mead heartily in the halls of Valhalla, my friends!
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