WHY DID REVAN GO THE OUTER RIM?

[PGD03]

Revan went there because she's a stupid retard and was told that she left her panties in the boiler room which is in the outer rim.

[Baley]

That's meen

[Vashanti]

As a plot device to remove him/her from the sequel.

 

Oh, wait, that doesn't really explain much...

 

[Jagthru]

She's 19 now and that would be perfectly legal...

 

 

How the hell do you know how old they are? I think someone been playing this game too much.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Because in KotOR 1 someone mentions she is 14, and since KotOR 2 takes place 5 years after KotOR 1, she would be 19 in KotOR 2.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

But she was 14 when they did the deed so it's irrelavent how old she is now.

[BattleCookiee]

But she was 14 when they did the deed so it's irrelavent how old she is now.

 

If they did it when she was 14 the *crime* is validated...

 

of course keep in mind you are applying western hemisphere earth thinking to this *crime*

 

Yep, maybe *using* 14-Year olds is't even a crime in SW universe...

But all of the accusings are based on Western Rules, so why not the Defenses?

[Darth Flatus]

of course keep in mind you are applying western hemisphere earth thinking to this *crime*

[Mark Havel]

Here is the real reason : He got Bastilla pregnant, but did not have the fund to raise the child, so he stole Jolee's retirement fund. Unfortunately, the old man died and as a light side character, he felt guilty. Then he had fear to not be able to raise correctly the coming child an went to the outer rim to make a new life.

[Baley]

Outer Rim chicks

[Hildegard]

Court room on Coruscant.......

 

 

Judge: Court is now in session....

 

Republic lawyer: Your honor, I call Mr.Hildegard to the stand.

 

Judge: Fine...

 

Court offical: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you Jabba?

 

Hildegard: I do.

 

R. Lawyer: Tell us Mr.Hildegard what do you do for living and how do you know Revan?

 

Hildegard: Well you see.....I work as a Jedi Council's ambassador to the state of Burkina Faso and I had my office on Coruscant just besides Revan's, that was appointed to him after the war with Malak.

 

R. Lawyer: And tell us, how did you get to the information - why Revan left to the outer rim?

 

Hildegard: As I said, Revan had an office right beside me, and as you know walls in the Jedi enclave are really thin and cheap like everything there because the Jedi spend most of their money on canabis trying to stay calm, reserved, peacefull and all.....I'm not here to make any judgment on any Jedi, I know it's tough to always stay cool, and a little joint here and there comes by usefull.....

(I could really use a picture of GhostofAnakin's Yoda here)

 

Republic Lawyer: Mr.Hildegard....cut with the bullsh*t and answer the question, do you the reason why Revan left to the outer rim?

 

Hildegard: Yes yes .... I'm sorry....as I said i could hear everything that was going on in his office and after several weeks I put two and two together and I figured it out:

Revan got Bastila pregnant after the battle with Malak and he, apperantly not ready for fatherhood, chickened out and ran. And now Bastila is eagerly searching for Revan because he doesn't pay the alimentation for the kid....

 

And Carth, who took the obligation to fund all the necessities for the kid, was also very much frustrated because his very strecthed out with money, now this Revan's kid and having to pay most of his money on a therapist, that is a psychologist.....you know he has this problem with the whole trust issue.....

 

R. Lawyer: Mr.Hildegard I'm warning you......!!!

 

Hildegard: Okey...okey... I'll get to the point....

The word that Revan has joined the boy scouts and was selling cookies in the outer rim was just a hoax, because, as I learned, the "boy scouts" was just a nickname for the organisation led by some guy named Don Iziz....

And he apperantly owed Revan a favour bacause Revan helped him with something on Tatooine, I don't know what.

I'm not saying here that Revan is a part of mafia led by this Don Iziz, I'm just saying what I heared.

 

R. Lawyer: Go on......

 

Hildegard: And the story that Revan went to outer rim looking for his lost teddy bear was nothing but a touching story invented by Revan himself so he could justify his departure to the outer rim, when in fact I have his "lost" teddy bear right here with me!!! (standing up and showing the teddy bear to everybody in the court room)

 

The people in the court room:HHHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! ( everybody draws their breath, an old grandma faints and chaos and a foul-up starts in the court)

 

Judge: Order in the court....order in the court.....officer take that old lady out and give her some water, obviously this session ain't for those with a weak heart...

Please continue with your questioning.....

 

Republic Lawyer: Thank you your honor........mr.Hildegard what about various accusations against Revan, like the one that he stole Jolee's retirement fond or the sex scandal with the minor?

 

Hildegard:You see it's like this.....Revan did in fact steal Jolee's entire retirement fond because he needed to fund his journey, I think that it was about 100 000 credits, I don't know excatly.....and so, Jolee, after realizing what has happened, wanted to get even......so he framed Revan with the sex charges involving Misson who was at that time 15 years old....

 

R.Lawyer: ......and how did he presuade Misson to play along and to press charges?

 

Hildegard: See, once he caught Misson cheating Carth on Pazzak big time, lots of money was in question. So Jolee, so mad about Revan stealing from him, told Misson if she doesn't press charges that he will tell Carth about the hoax.....

And with Carth being all frustrated with having to financially take care of Revan's kid, and having to pay the expensive psychologists and being on edge with money and nervs, who knows what's he capable of.....(lawyer giving him that look)......okey....okey....I'll stop.....

 

R.Lawyer: I see.....and the last question, what about the rumors that Revan is a war junkie and that he went to the outer rim chasing ghosts, those "real" sith that are, by manny, dead long ago.....

 

Hildegard: The whole "war junkie" thing was nothing but a false accusation by the angry "committee of handicapped war veterans from the Mandalorain wars" because, by them, Revan didn't pay them the entire amount of the disability pensions.....so they wanted revenge and started to spread lies about him.....

 

R.Lawyer: Thank you mr.Hildegard that is all...

 

Judge: You may step down...

 

Hildegard: Okey.....(walking down the court when suddenly his cellphone rang)

Who is it?

 

Revan: Hildegard is it over?

 

Hildegard: Yeah it is, I've done my part of the deal and I want my cut of the money you promised me...

 

Revan: Of course, I'll see you at Motta's tomorrow at 15 o'clock, don't be late...

 

Hildegard: I'll be there, just be sure my money will be there.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To all does smallminded people this is a joke, A JOKE, don't start writing that Revan went to outer rim to fight the real sith and to save the republic.......

[Baley]

Hidegard...I always thought you were female :">

[Hildegard]

Hidegard...I always thought you were female :">

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I'm not but the name Hildegard is a german medivel female name, that later became universal, used by both men and women...

[Baley]

That's why I thought you were female :">

[BattleCookiee]

Revan went to outer rim to fight the real sith and to save the republic.......

[Hildegard]

Revan went to outer rim to fight the real sith and to save the republic.......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Nice one..... :D

[Darth Launch]

She went for the food :D

 

Mmm... only the True Sith know how to cook Roasted Jawa and Boiled Cannok that special way...

[Hildegard]

In the end I think that Revan's disapperance is just a tragic destiny of a man that goes to the supermarket and never comes back......

[OneWithStrange]

Is it just me, or is Outer Rim being mistaken with Unknown Regions?

 

-Ben

[Hildegard]

Is it just me, or is Outer Rim being mistaken with Unknown Regions?

 

-Ben

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

I wouldn't know, check the dictionary if you want the answer, but honestly I don't know which one to reccomend you......

[Andkat]

Revan read the locked topic on the lost KOTOR 2 endings, where he recieved free gizka. These Gizka, realizing he had poisoned/sold the previous gizka, got pissed off and beat the crap out of Revan, whom wasnt prepared for the fact that they multiply faster than you can intaite combat with them.....

And thus Revan fled, leaving Hk-47 to be torn apart by Gizkas.