KOTOR3 Story idea

[Swinny]

A young jedi awakes in a medlab, unaware of where s/he is, proceeds to investigate the surrounding room

 

suddenly the door opens, and a round, black driod approaches, it doesnt take long for our young jedi to remember that s/he was captured by a team of bounty hunters and bought to GOTO for the bounty on jedi...

 

GOTO, still annoyed that he cannot see the jedi or sith, and therefore cannot begin to restore the galaxy and let it 'settle down', is still hunting force sensitives to try and draw out either party...

 

after staging a quick escape with the help of a protocol driod (that sadly gets destroyed before you escape goto's ship), you make way for safe land, and the home of the new, and undeveloped, jedi order on..... coroscent.

 

as you arrive, you head straight for the jedi temple and are greeted by a receptionist who asks for you to wait untill a jedi master is avalible..

 

the door opens..

Jedi Master : heh, wonderd where you had got to, thought you'd ran away after i beat you at pazzak again...

Young Jedi : Master Rand, its good to see you again, and if i remember, you cheated..?

Jedi Master Rand : *laughs* sure kid, sure...

 

you explain to Atton about your capture, and asks how the New Order is coming along. Atton explains that him and Brianna (handmaiden) are slowly starting to rebuild some kind of jedi order (as instructed by the exile), but admits that he is in way over his head, and is struggling seeing as he is just a meer padawan himself. He divises a plan, he explians that the New Order will need an experienced jedi to lead them, and this lead them to only one answer.. Bastila.

 

Atton gives you an assignment.. to attempt to track down Bastila and ask her to help out with the New Order. You are sent to the last known sigting of bastila.. citidal station, telos.

 

As you arrive you sense a calmness in the air, and notice a sign when you enter the residntial area 'welcome to telos, any inquiries please head to the ilithorian compound and ask for chodo habat'

 

you head to the TSF main area to ask about Bastila..

 

lieutenant grenn : can i help you master jedi?

young jedi : im searching for a woman named Bastila, she is a friend of admiral onasi's, is there any chance i can talk with him?

lieutenant grenn : admiral onasi is currently on a mission, but will be arriving here shortly, untill then... i was wondering if i could ask a favour of you Master Jedi, i do not know where else to turn..

 

*cue pointless running around telos, make it into a mini level like peragus*

 

after returning to grenn, he informs you that Carth has just arrived and will see you..

 

Carth : wonderful planet isnt she, im glad i was here to save her this time.. im sorry Master Jedi, how can i help you?

Young Jedi : im searching for Bastila, the Jedi needs her help to restore the New Order, i was wondering if you knew where she was?

Carth : I... lost contact with Bastila, she took off, went to the outer rim, she was desperate to know about Revan's fate... almost to the point of obsession

Young Jedi : Do you know where abouts in the outer rim she went?

Carth : i believe she headed for Geonosis, i'm not sure im afraid, sorry i cant help you any further Master Jedi, but she left without word. I.. i would help you look for her but i need to stay here, and help build the republic

 

*You travel to Geonosis, in search of Bastila...*

 

you travel through some droid factories, untill you are suddenly surrounded by a group of driods, helpless you surrender but then a flurry of blaster shots fire from the shadows.. all the driods fall to the floor..

 

HK-47 : queery : are you injured meatbag?

Young Jedi : no im.. im fine.. thanks ...

HK-47 : statment: no ned to thank me meatbag, i was mearly following my orders, much to my dissaprovment

 

you later find out that The Exile programed HK-47 to help out any Jedi he came across, HK-47 apparently ended up on geonosisafter he was sold as wreckage, seeing as he turned himself off, he presumed that The Exile had been killed on malacor.

 

you go through the game, going to different planets in search of bastila, not sure what encounters to have or what planets.

 

you eventually come across Bastila on an unknown outer rim world, she is fleeing an attacker and asks for your help, you help her escape.. but only for a while. You and Bastila get lost in the Sith Academy and get cornerd in a dark room. A tall figure approaches, caped in black robes.

 

Darth Siin : At last i have you.... jedi...

Bastila : Who are you...?

Darth Siin : I am your end, i am the darkness you see in the shadows, i am all that you fear

Bastila : *To Young Jedi* quick, we must flee..!

Darth Siin : *uses force choke on Bastila and holds her in the air* You are going nowhere jedi, you are mine now

Young Jedi : *ignites lightsaber* leave her alone! *swings for Darth Siin, but with a flick of his hand, Darth Siin pushes you into a nearby wall, you are unable to move or help Bastila*

Darth Siin : *To Bastila* now, young jedi, you will feel pain that you thought wasnt possbile, i will punish you for your crimes, you and all the JEDI *voice becomes angry*

 

*you try to break free of his hold over you, but you are defensless to help Bastila*

 

*Darth Siin ignites his saber, lets out an evil laugh and then focuses on Bastila, who is still held in the air by a choke, 'now jedi, feel, my.. PAIN' he swings his lightsaber back.....*

 

*ppshhhhhh* *Darth Siin is thrown off his feet by an unseen force before he strikes Bastila, and Bastila falls to the floor and collapses*

 

*a figure jumps down from the upper level and lands near you, all caped in black.. and then proceeds to ignite 2 lightsabers, 1 purple and 1 red... the masked figure turns to you....*

 

Young Jedi : *shocked face* ...revan..!

 

*Revan jumps to attack Darth Siin, and they ignite in a lightsaber battle, Revan overwhealms Darth Siin but then Darth Siin lifts a large metal table and throws it at Bastila's unconcious body, Revan, lowers his defenses and pushes the table away from her path, and with this Darth Siin send Revan across the room with a shot of lightning, however Revan jumps straight back up, apparently unhamred by the Sith Lord's attack*

 

Darth Siin : *suprised voice*.. you.. you.. i thought we killed you... impossible.. *he then flee's the room*

 

 

well thats as far as ive got at the mo, im gonan finish the rest now, what do you all think..? :">

[Lara_Jade]

I like it. I've seen a few K3 ideas and yours is the first that I've liked. I think it could definitely work. One thing I would change though would be the waking up in a medlab. I think it's too much like the beginning of K2. But other than that I thought it sounded really good.

[Swinny]

the saga continues...

 

Revan runs over to Bastila's body and picks her up, then releases you from your statis.

 

Young Jedi : we need to get out of here, which is the way out?

Revan : *points to a door and runs towards it still holding Bastila*

 

you follow Revan untill you finally reach the outer area and your ship, the three of you get onboard and flee the planet.

 

Revan rests Bastila in the medlab and strokes her hair, Revan then turns and looks at you, then removes his mask...

 

Revan : thankyou for you help friend, if it wasnt for you i wouldnt have been able to get to her in time.

Young Jedi : i should be thanking you really, you saved all of us

Revan : yeah, *slight laugh*, its a habit of mine. I must ask you thou, what were you and Bastila doing out here? infact.. who are you?

 

you explain to Revan that you were in search of Bastila to ask for her help in rebuilding the New Order, you also relate to him the events of The Exile, sion, nilhius and traya.

 

Revan explians that he must return to coroscent imidiatly.. but before you that...

 

HK-47 :shocked statment: master? i thought that you had perished in typical meatbag fashion! oh it brings joys to my circuits to see you alive, master.

 

you arrive on coroscent and take Revan and Bastila to see Atton and Brianna, Revan explains that the 'True Sith' have a whole army waiting in the outer rim, and that they plan to attack the republic in a few days time, and that they are going to attack coroscent first. Atton suggests that Revan should take over the Jedi Academy and co ordinate with the republic fleet, Revan agree's.

 

*Before the planning begind, Revan visists Bastila in the medlab, she is still unconcious but Revan stays by her side, and whispers in her ear, kisses her on the cheek and then stand up, looks out the window and you see his face intensify. He takes one last look at Bastila and leaves the room*

 

as he leaves the room...

 

Carth : long time no see

Revan : *smiles* Carth...

Carth : now im sure you've got some, long winded jedi story to tell me, that i probably wont undestand but.. there's time for that later, we're got a war to win

Revan : *nods head* then lets get to work

 

Days go by as Revan, Carth, Atton, Brianna and you finalise the battle plans untill finally word of a massive fleet has just dropped out of hyperspace... it was time.

 

A massive battle on coroscent takes place, a bit like on Onderon, but much bigger and longer. Untill finally the battle comes to ahead in the Jedi Temple...

 

Atton, Brianna, Revan and you stand in the room of a thousend waterfalls as the Sith storm the place, you all make light work of the Sith apprentacies and Dark Padawan's.

 

Then, Darth Siin enters along with his apprentice, they both ignite their lightsabers...

 

Then suddenly, 2 more Sith lords, each with apprentice behind them enters....

 

Atton : i thought you sith had the rule of two? you know, only two of you bantha fodder's at a time?

Darth Siin : *laughs* There are different factions of the sith, fool jedi, but now we all unite under one banner to destroy the likes of you!

You : ive got abad feeling about this

 

All of a sudden, the 3 Sith Lords and 3 Apprentices all ignite their lightsabers

Dath Siin : time to die... jedi

 

The battle that has been in plans since the beginning of the mandalorian wars, the true war of this time, is about to begin...

 

a massive lightsaber duel erupts, Darth Siin and another Sith Lord attack Revan, the other Sith lord attacks you, the 3 Apprentices attack Atton and Brianna.

 

Revan and you fend off the Sith Lords, however Atton and Brianna struggle against the powerfull Dark Apprentices, all of a sudden Brianna falls silent.. Atton looks over to see her body crumpled on the floor, she had been stabbed in the chest by one of the Dark Apprentices.

 

Atton : *shouts* nooooo, brianna, no.. no.. damn you Sith scum! Atton lashes out at the 3 remaining Apprentices but they easily overpower him and aventually all combine to force push him into a solid wall, he falls to the floor in a crumpled heap.

 

the 3 dark Apprentices turn their attention to you and Revan, the battle turns in the favour of the sith as they over power you and Revan, when it seems like all hope is lost, you and Revan are backed against the glass walls of the jedi temple, worn and exhusted, helpless.

 

Darth Siin : i have waited for this day, the day when the jedi would meet their...

 

all of a sudden laser blasts shower in from the roof and wipe out 2 of the Apprentices, the sith lords make for cover, Revan and you look up..

 

 

the Ebon Hawk swoops down and stops outside the window, the side hatch opens and T3 signals for you to jump on board quickly, you jump on but Revan refuses to leave Bastila, you tell him that he cant do anything to help her, and that he must save himself for the sake of the jedi.. he agree's, and with one last glancing look towards the medbay me gets onboard, the ebon hawk soars into the sky....

[Swinny]

phew, there's the 2nd installment, only one left now

 

if anyone else has any idea's please contrtibute, like any plot changes or new names, any help would be cool

 

thanks to everyone reading this

[TerranEarth]

Of course, gender differentials must factor in as well. I am all for setting Revan as a definite LS character however.

 

On a sidenote, does anybody know what male Revan's combat lines are in kotor1?

[Dark Wastl]

One small question: What is the Exile doing in your story?

 

Is he simply "not there" like Revan in TSL or is there something else?

[Bastilla_Skywalker]

simply brilliant! this is how KOTOR III should be some of the KOTOR crew and KOTOR II crew together.exellent! this better be how it turns out in KOTOR III.

[Darth Flatus]

This is some good stuff, but i personally would like to see revan as a more ambiguous character like kreia where you don't know if he is good or bad.

 

The first meeting with revan could be a battle where s/he slaps the PC about with some DS powers and - depending on yourr characters actions and dialogue choices during that battle and the rest of th egame - you can set or find out revan's true nature.

[Swinny]

thanks everyone for your feedback, in your answer to the question 'where is the exile' he is flying the ebon hawk when it saved Revan and PC from the sith lords, im gonna do the final part tonight, where you have to fight through all the sith ranks with Revan and Exile in your party, im just thinking of a good ending and maybe some changes to the story, any more feedback would be ace

 

thanks to everyone again

[dewaybe2678]

i'm holding judgement until the finall installment. but if you are going to bastila. i would say it stinks. i don't think revan and exile should be in your party. one problem if voice gender and alignment. yea i know there ways round that. but alot people would be upset. so if cann't play them i doubt they will show up in game. if they do probably be a vision like revan in tsl. and another i don't think GO-TO survived. that another problem in itself. noone really knows who's still live.

[Hildegard]

Good story indeed Swinny.....many DS fans would complain about Revan being LS as you put it or that he is male, but I think no matter what, Revan fits best as a male and especially as LS considering the whole redemption thing...

 

Only in the begging you should change the awaking part in the medical bay, it reminds too much of K2 start....

 

You did very well with Revan-Bastila relationship.... if anyone belongs with each other in the entire KOTOR storyline then it's those two. ..... in the end of your second part where Revan had to leave Bastila where she probably is still in the hospital as you put it recovering from injures and then is obviously captured by the sith.... .....just don't put it that she turns over to the dark side, that was all done in the K1..... :ph34r:

 

You have certainly a hard job doing the end because everybody is constantly critical about endings (look at K2) only because they all want to satisfy their imagination and their point of view about the whole K3 story and especially the end.....And if your end will be either DS or LS or optional ( make it LS please.... ) there will always be people that will like your story and those that won't..... but given the fact your obvious talent I think the second ones will be in the minority......

[dewaybe2678]

Good story indeed Swinny.....many DS fans would complain about Revan being LS as you put it or that he is male, but I think no matter what, Revan fits best as a male and especially as LS considering the whole redemption thing...

 

Only in the begging you should change the awaking part in the medical bay, it reminds too much of K2 start....

 

You did very well with Revan-Bastila relationship.... if anyone belongs with each other in the entire KOTOR storyline then it's those two. ..... in the end of your second part where Revan had to leave Bastila where she probably is still in the hospital as you put it recovering from injures and then is obviously captured by the sith.... .....just don't put it that she turns over to the dark side, that was all done in the K1..... :ph34r:

 

You have certainly a hard job doing the end because everybody is constantly critical about endings (look at K2) only because they all want to satisfy their imagination and their point of view about the whole K3 story and especially the end.....And  if your end will be either DS or LS or optional ( make it LS please....   ) there will always be people that will like your story and those that won't..... but given the fact your obvious talent I think the second ones will be in the minority......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

i'll agree with on every point. i was just pointing out a few things

[metadigital]

I would recommend reading the exhaustive (and exhausting!) commetary on the issues of the endgame that have been posted in the Spoilers forum. I have a link to Saberist's post (which has some cracking themes explained therein), but the whole discussion is well worth reading to help decide how to handle characters and their relative significance to the story's elements.

[cewekeds]

First goto is dead or with the exile. he blew up with the remote.(dam rush job )

second Hk-47 cannot attack HK-50 becasue his programing won't allow it.

 

I want very little to do with the old two crews. the game will turn people off who thought revan was female and big evil. meaning Bastila could be a sith. and done right carth would have been killed( I got really annoyed when I seen when I made revan dark and female in K2) . I want new people to learn about and a PC with his own story.

 

good ideas but I wouldn't like to play though.

[bubblyofart]

I have to agree that this is definately 1 of the best KOTOR3 storylines I've read, can't wait to c wat u do with the ending - though if Bastila were to die, that would break my heart, Revan and Bastila are made for each other, like Leia is to Han (actually any1 notice that Bastila and Leia are kinda similar, along the lines that their both kinda stuck up at the beginning?)

[Swinny]

the saga continues....

 

You board the Ebon hawk with Revan, you head to the ****pit to find the Exile..

 

Exile : good to see you made it Revan

Revan :Good thing you showed up in time, general, i knew i could always rely on you

Exile : I followed you then Revan, and i'll follow you now

 

Back on coroscent : Darth Siin orders the Sith lords to take bastila to his ship, and to leave all the dead jedi as a reminder of what will happen to those that cross the true sith.

 

Bastila is taken onboard Siin's flagship and placed in a torture chamber (with clothes on, this isnt saul karath " )

 

The Sith fleet continue to battle the republic forces, under Carth's command, the battle is a heated one and neither side want to give way. The battle lights up the skies of coroscent.

 

Back on the Ebon Hawk, Revan says that he is going after Bastila, and then he is going to destroy the sith. You and The Exile agree that he's going to need all the help he can get, so you all arm up and set a course for Darth Siin's flagship, the largest ship in the sith fleet above coroscent.

 

The Ebon Hawk joins up with the republic fleet, Revan orders carths ships to provide cover for the Ebon Hawk as it swoops in and attempts to board Darth Siin's flagship.

 

As you board, Carth tells you that the sith are starting to gain the advantage, and that Darth Siin's flagship has too much firepower and is wiping out the fleet.

 

Revan decides that he and The Exile will go after Bastila, and you should head to the lower decks and disable the weapons system and then meet up with Revan and The Exile when they have Bastila.

 

Agreeing, you head to the lower decks, where you encounter many sith apprentacies, you finally get to the weapons system and manage to disable them. You comm Revan and learn that he and Exile are near the bridge, and tell you to meet them there.

 

As you make your way to the bridge, you find many rooms full of jedi and sith holocrons, many of the ones that were on telos and lost in the Jedi academy on dantooine, and some were taken from coroscent.

 

You make it to the bridge just in time...

 

Darth Siin and the 2 sith lords stand on the bridge, You, Revan and Exile all ignite your lightsabers, but Revan stops you, and notices that Bastila is also on the bridge and is hooked up to some machine, and is still unconcious.

 

Revan: im going after Siin, you two take your pick, and i ask you, whatever happends on this bridge, make sure Bastila survives

 

and with the, he leaps into battle with Darth Siin, you and Exile each attack a sith lord.

 

The battle is going in your favour and you start to push the sith back, Exile force pushes a Sith Lord over, and leaps ontop of him and slices him in half.

 

You battle the other Sith lord, he lunges for you but you evade and force push him away, near to the ships reactor... with that you and exile combine your force pushes and send the sith lord into the ships reactor.. that only leaves Revan and Darth Siin..

 

Revan clearly has the upper hand, and Siin is on the defensive... Siin flee's the lightsaber duel and runs over to where Bastila is being held

 

Darth Siin : jedi fools, you think you are winning but really you are just a pawn in my game, now we will see just how powerfull you so-called jedi are!

 

he raises a hand to Bastila (who is suspended in a force cage) and a red light eminates from her body and into Siin's

 

Revan : he.. he is drawing her force powers out of her body and into his, i can feel my power failing..... our bond... mine and Bastila's bond... no...

 

Revan falls to the floor, grasping his chest...

 

Revan : he.. he is draining the force from me and bastila... you must...

 

with that, Revan stops breathing and lays lifeless on the floor

 

Exile : revan.. no... it cant.. wait.. wait... hold on Revan

 

With this, the exile sits down and begins to meditate.. he grimaces...

 

Exile : if.. if i can just.... form a bond with Revan and share my life force with him and bastila.. i might be able to save them... you... you must kill Siin... otherwise.. he will kill us all...

 

You ignite your lightsaber and turn towards Siin

 

Darth Siin : *laughs loud* you cannot beat me jedi, you are a meer padawan, i am the lord of the sith! you will meet your doom and then i will deal with you 'friends'

 

You and Siin do battle, a fierce battle that with it holds the lifes of Revan, Bastila and the exile.

 

You are on the back foot, you may be strong but you are no match for a sith lord, his force powers overwhelm you, your mind cant cope with his power and you start to retreat, you fall to the floor almost certained for doom, but you feel a hand grab you and pull you back to your feet

 

Atton : didnt think i'd leave you that easily did ya kid?

You : Master Rand! i thought you... died on coroscent..?

Atton : i took a beating, but you know me, if ive still got friends standing you cant keep me down.

 

Darth Siin unleashes a force lightning at you and Atton, Atton jumps infron of you and takes the blow.. he falls to the floor and turns to you

 

Atton : you cant beat him, he is to powerful, but you can outsmart him *coughs* thats how i... survived once... you must throw up walls in your mind, like i taught you, block his force powers, play *laughs and coughs* play pazakk in your head...

 

With this, you call upon Atton's previous training, and throw up a wall in your mind. Darth Siin attempts to statis you but fails..

 

Darth Siin : wha.. impossible.. you.. you are strong.. but.. but you shall not survive!

 

you and Siin enter another fierce battle, but this time his force powers are affecting you and you are a match for him... with one final crash og your lightsaber (or force power) you send him to his knee's, he delivers one final speech and then falls. (and dies)

 

you run over to Revan and the Exile, Exile comes out of his trance

 

Exile : is.. is it over? is Siin destroyed?

You : yes, yes he is

Exile : but.. Revan and Bastila... i dont know if i...

 

With this, Revans lifeless body draws breath, and slowely gets up, he looks over to Bastila and stumbles towards her cage and disables it.

 

Her body falls out of the cage and into Revans arms, he stares at her face, waiting a response.. but there is none.....

 

suddenly she grasps breath and her eyes open wide...

 

Bastila : didnt think you could get rid of me that easily did you?

Revan : Bastil.. i thought... but you were... i..

Bastila : shut up and kiss me you babbling fool 9or whatever Revan says to her in kotor1)

 

After a passionate kiss, Revan decides that leaving now would be a good idea, so you, revan, bastila, exile and the heavily beaten atton make way to the ebon hawk and escape to victory, Revan gives the message to carth to destroy the sith fleet, Bastila uses her battle meditation to aid the republic fleet, as it mops up the sith fleet.

 

the final scene is Revan, Exile, you, Atton, Bastila and many other people celerating on coroscent, as the camera pans, the ghosts of all the dead jedi can be seen, such jedi as Jolee, Juhani, Kavar, Vandar, Vrook, Zhan and Brianna.

 

the camera focuses on Revan and Exile, and they both look over to a nearby window and can see the ghost of Kreia who nods her head, the camera pans back to Exile and Revan and they both smile, then pans to You, who also smiles... camera then pans out to show the whole party and all the jedi ghosts.. credits role...

 

 

 

phew, its finished :D

 

i msut say i loved writing this, and it only took me a few houres and i was only really messing around, i might re-write the story with much more dialog, planets and of course who the PC's party members will be

 

 

thanks to everyone for reading this and offering their comments!

 

if anyone has any idea's please post them and i will put them in (if they are good :cool: ), or any more idea's (like the name of the 2 other sith lords, or any party members)

 

i was thinking of including a female tweilek jedi, who knows

 

thanks to everyone again, this story is for the fans of kotor

 

swinny

[Swinny]

i kinda rished that, its just a basic plan i dont know if i explianed it well.

 

Atton and Brianna were taken on board of Darth Siin's flagship as 'prizes', thats how Atton got on there.

 

Also, on the bridge, Revan and Bastila's bond is exploitted so Revan is weakened when bastila is used to draw her life force from her.

 

then the Exile uses his ability to create force bonds and feed of other force users and reverses the efffect, he fuels Revan and Bastila with his life force to balance it out, but they are all slowly dying.

 

thanks again :D

[Swinny]

:">

[Alissa]

I LOVE THE ENDING!! Wonderful! :D

[anakins revenge]

meh, its a good ending, but disapointing in that the entire game feels very....short... u kno? also id rather play the exile or Revan rather than a padawan, look at it this way: a true sith lord with powers-some which there are no defense remember is getting beatin by a padawan with maybe 6 years of training, any chance of winning? NOPE.(look at the anakin dooku duel if u wanna outside view of it). If u make the storyline more flexible, put in some detail rather than the etch-a-sketch u got right now then it might be a 7.5-8 out of 10

[Swinny]

hehe cheers guys for your support.

 

i will admit i rushed it, i was just bored and spouted some kotor crap for 2 houres and ended up with that

 

i might make it more detailed, and into an actual game. I didnt really focus on all the other party members, or the worlds etc, just the main story.

 

i wanted to bring vandar back into it seeing as he never actually died on or off screen, and i was gonna do some twists like, Revan died but the exile put on his mask and cape and pretended to be Revan. but hey, this i star wars, people dont die in star wars like in most other films.

 

i wanna do some more dialog, cus i find that the most fun part, i need a comical charecter, i might bring back jolee.. dare i "

 

i was thinking of having Dustil Onasi as your main party member (like carth and atton), Dustil could be a jedi padawan as well. Of course i;d have to find if there is any truth in the whole kotor2 sith cave and dustil story.

 

anyone got any more opinions or suggestions?

 

i need names for sith lords and new charecters :D

[Darth Coran]

it seems nice,but I would not be happy at all with Brianna dead.

[edu11]

Well done Swinny!! It is very good BUT, man, ease up on the "love" part. A DS Revan will look like an idiot!!

[Hildegard]

Congratulations Swinny you managed not to spoil the end, in fact it's better then your last two....Anakins revenge says it's too short, of course it is when you posted only the main events, what do you expect Swinny to wright the entire story in a couple of hours, hey man it kind of reminds me of a classic pushing of OE by LA to finish the game in a small time period and you know how that ended up.... ...better to laugh then to cry.....

 

Darth Coran says that he doesn't like the idea of Brianna getting dead, but come on, in such battle of epic proportions somebody has to die, no great victory comes without a price......

 

Edu11 says to ease up on the "love" part, I strongly disagree....He says that DS Revan will look like an idiot, hey man have you been reading at all what Swinny wrote, seems to me that in this story Revan is more LS then DS ( am I right? ) And for the love part, no matter what anybody says Revan and Bastila belong together and I know there are far more people that agree with me on this one...

 

Keep up the good work Swinny, wright your story with more detailes and dialogs and I'm confident that it will be great.....and I have one suggestion:

 

In the end you should have one last interaction and conversation with all your party members and allies, let's say onboard the Ebon Hawk, I kind of missed that in K1 and in K2, everything ended too fast and I couldn't say anything I wanted to any of my partymembers in the end to conclude things between one and other. You know a conversation with your members to kind of end things up.......for an example:

 

Young Padawan thanking Atton for helping him to defeat Darth Siin, Revan thanking The Exile for saving his and Bastila's life, Revan's and Bastila's love conversation (better in the end then on the bridge or both work out fine), The Exile and Revan commend you for your action and say that you are future of the new jedi order that will bring peace, stability and order to the Republic and stuff like that...

 

 

And then goes your final scene and the whole grand celebration.....

[Swinny]

:">