*Whew* Okay, it's finally done. Be careful, it's hot.
The subject of this report is Eldar.
First off, what gives with a name like “Eldar” anyway? Is he old? Is he into elderly chicks? Or maybe he just can’t spell correctly. With his most recent thread being “the online campain thread”, that’s probably a safe bet. But enough about the name. First let’s see how Eldar started off.
He came here for K2. How original. His first thread dealt with “Sacred” and if it was worth it or not. The thread was so popular it lasted a whopping 4 posts. That’s okay. But not really. But to be fair, Eldar created some very memorable threads, not the least of which was the Obsidian Collectable Card Game topic, in which the subject made some very creative cards of the board’s biggest (and smallest) entities, including two of the reviewer. Other topics include one about alts, and perhaps most notably, T.O.M.B.S. Volume III. Alright, give him some credit for that. But in typical Eldar fashion he balances it out with utterly inane ones like “Yes! I can kill the damned assassin droid!” Cripes. Could you be any more Gabrielle-ish? And how about this gem: “Superbowl XL: I’ll say it…bad calls”. WTF, doofus! What are you, a Seahawks fan now? Winners win, mkay? Losers bitch and make lame excuses like bad calls. And let’s not forget his memorable “Renaissance Costume” thread. To put it nicely, people have done more nerdish things in the past.
Obsidian has seen its share of moderators. Some good, and some bad. During a phase of Eldar’s Obsidian career, he too was handed the title of moderator after doing some “personal favors” for Fionavar. During his brief career as a watchdog, Eldar was actually a pretty good mod. He was always willing to give threads a second chance, and sometimes a third and fourth chance before lockdown. Unfortunately, maybe either because he didn’t like being a mod or just wasn’t strong enough, he was stripped of the rank. Luckily, to protect what little dignity he had left, he was handed the title of “Obsidian VIP” (Very Impotent Person).
Eldar is also a TOMBS legend within the realm of Obsidian. Having controlled a TOMBS thread of his own and making more reports than probably any poster to date, Eldar may very well just hold the title of TOMBS king (a.k.a. I have no life). Eldar has probably made some of the best and most accurate reports to date, including the standard character sheets and the creative courtroom scenes. Some can be mean, but they are always in a good spirit.
Intelligence? Eldar’s pretty intelligent, sort of. In all honesty, Eldar has proven to be able to hold his own in an argument. Sometimes he goes against Meta, Hades, Shadowpaladin, and Commissar all at the same time! When he isn’t boring the members to death with his rambling, Eldar can make some pretty great points. In past arguments, he has made pretty profound points that forces one to stop and think. But Eldar is not one to flame or become too opinionated. Eldar will stand up for himself and make his point known, sometimes carrying an argument on for pages. However, Eldar will always do so in a respectful manner, never flaming, and he sometimes has an unusual ability to make both sides of an argument agree with him.
Eldar is not one person to lead with his chin, though. He usually takes a coward’s less direct approach. His kung fu skills can be pretty admirable, in fact. Yes, he can take hits, though he doesn’t really take them often. Eldar is too much respected for that. Hard to believe, ain’t it? For the most part, Eldar is a wuss pacifist. When arguing, he doesn’t really use the “Disagree with me and I’ll smite you approach”, rather, in maintaining his kind spirit, he uses the more diplomatic “You’re not okay, but that’s okay approach.” Congrats. You want a cookie now, jerkface?
Personality? He has one? Okay, what little personality he has is actually quite interesting. Eldar is sometimes a fun guy. He can make joke around any time. His TOMBS reports and Obsidian Cards were always a fun read. However, Eldar balances out his humor with a fair amount of seriousness as well. Whatever the situation calls for, Eldar will suit it perfectly, whether it’s serious or humorous.
To the other posters, he’s nice almost by a default, and has not outright flamed anyone to date, sometimes even in the face of downright stupidity. While he’s a nice guy most of the time, he can sometimes drop in a witty, retort that here and there to point out someone’s stupidity and make everyone go Zing! Eldar, in typical Eldar fashion, is also a Christian. More specifically, a Catholic! Ha ha! In fact, he makes up one-third of the Christian Axis of Evil! Eldar doesnt' really smite others nor try to convert, but has pride in his faith. He has even managed to gain respect from some staunch atheists on these boards! Unfortunately, Eldar is sometimes a flip-flopper with regards to his fellow posters.
“I like you. No, I don’t. Yes, I do. No, I don’t.
I’ll do a report for you. No, I won’t. Yes, I will. No, I won’t.”
Zomg! John Kerry couldn’t do better.
In conclusion, Eldar is a pretty remarkable guy. Eldar sometimes puts up the mean, guy image, but in reality Eldar is a very nice person and always will stick up for his fellow posters. He may be a tough guy, but he’s always the good guy. And with his personality and posting skills in mind, it’s not hard to see why he’s a celebrity here, at Tarna’s, and at the ADS. He has his faults, but don’t we all? Only Jesus and Chuck Norris were born perfect. As much as the reviewer hates to admit it, he is glad and proud to call Eldar his friend. Bravo!
Jerkface.
