Putin's Divorce

[Walsingham]

As some of you will already know, Vladimir Putin has announced he is going to get divorced.

 

I think that out of a spirit of forumal fraternity we should mobilise immediately.

 

I firmly believe that with our combined writing talent we can compose a love letter from obyknven to Vlad that willl be so jaw-droppingly fantastic that he'll have no option but to immediately elope with her to Archangel.

 

In your own time, gentlemen... engage.

[Rosbjerg]

Why not from us, on behalf of Oby?

 

Dear Mr. Putin,

First of all, I want to say that we here at the Obsidian (a bourgeois American capitalist company) forum are devoted fans of you. I mean, not like that fan club you made yourself, but more in a natural 'admire your craziness' kinda way. What we want to say is that you're semi-fascist, paranoid, male chauvinistic and bareback "Russian cowboy" style, has really inspired us. Not to compare you with brokeback, unless you were thinking about a male bear of course..

 

Naturally we all have a huge mancrush on you, so we found it extremely unbelievable to hear about your ex wife's impending doom.. I mean divorce.. and as consolation (or tribute - depending?) we wanted to offer a viable substitute.

 

So here inclosed, gagged and prebondaged - we present Oby (our nickname for him). We hope you will have as much joy out of him as we have had.

 

With endless love

The Obsidian (a bourgeois American capitalist company) Forums.

[babaganoosh13]

Dear Mr/Dr/President Putin,

 

I hear ya brother. A lot of us have gone through what you are about to go through. It is a hard time on everyone involved, especially the kids.

 

It may stink at first, but eventually you will find things to do to get you distracted from what was you old life, married with kids, and on to your new one, with in my case, is split custody with my kids, and in yours; whatever the judge thinks is fair or however you decide it how to handle it.

 

Just a friendly reminder: I don't know how religious you are, or what religion you are if any; but if it is one that thinks that divorce is a sin: There are in fact degrees of sin, and divorce is much less of a one than murder, or whatever it was that you may or may not have tried to do with Viktor Yushchenko.

 

And remember: If you're every feeling lonely and a bit down in the dumps, there is always this:

That's you big guy!

 

You'd probably be beating them off with a sick in no time!

[Walsingham]

I am feeling it now. That's some love.

 

Enoch? I reckon you could lay some mellow jazz on this mission.

[Malcador]

I guess this is her replacement ?

 

 

And a rhythmic gymnast too, apparently.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

Dear Vladimir,

 

We(the Obsidian Forum Community) would like to either express our sincere condolences on the deterioration of your marriage or congratulate you on dumping the old ball and chain, depending on your feelings(if you can feel that is) pertaining to your divorce. Either way, we inferior westlings would like to present a humble tribute to your greatness. This will be the large box with several holes in it that likely smells of urine and feces by the time you read this letter.

 

Enclosed in said box is an individual known to us as obyknven, who we affectionately call Oby. This fine specimen(frankly we aren't sure if Oby is a male or female) will serve as your loyal companion, humble servant, Internet Propagandist/Spam-Bot, and sex doll. We assure you that Oby comes in pristine condition(unless Wals made Oby play an obscene amount of FO:NV) and will help you fill the hole that your ex-wife's abscence will cause, or at least give you a hole to fill to pass the time.

 

With love, admiration, and a good deal of fear,

Obsidian Forum Community.

 

PS, Oby either feeds on or produces large quantities of bat****, bull****, and warped reality logic. We advise deducing which is the case and taking the appropriate course of action.

[BruceVC]

You guys make me laugh

 

But I will say that Putin is in very good shape considering who he is, he strikes me as someone who could defend himself in a fight. That's not common for presidents generally

[HoonDing]

One of Putin's daughters is married to a Dutchman (who somehow enjoyed meteoric rise in Russian business circles), when said son-in-law was beaten up by an oligarkh's bodyguard both the bodyguard and his employer somehow ended up in gulag.

Edited June 7, 2013 by Drudanae

[Walsingham]

You guys make me laugh

 

But I will say that Putin is in very good shape considering who he is, he strikes me as someone who could defend himself in a fight. That's not common for presidents generally

 

Focus please, Bruce. I want you to bring in some of that good sangoma medicine. I should think Putin would need a more forthright possibly threatening angle to get him fired up.