Children are our future, which is why this week I began to teach my five-year-old about Chuck Norris.

 

At school he is learning rudimentary maths, how to read and write and also how to make animals from papier mache. The teachers, as far as I can work out, are doing an excellent job. The child is well-adjusted, happy and has lots of friends. He looks forward to going to school.

 

But he has been taught absolutely nothing about Chuck Norris. It irks me. Chuck isn't even on the National Cirriculum.

 

I must admit there have been a number of challenges. For example, there's no way as a responsible parent I'm going to teach my toddler what a round-house kick is. And he's far too young for Delta Force. So I had to limit his early stages as a Chuck Padawan to (a) explaining what a Texas Ranger is and (b) showing him a picture of Chuck wielding two mini-Uzis whilst wearing a denim shirt with the arms ripped off. He didn't find that too cool for some reason, but it's early days.

 

However, the joke that 'When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital' got a laugh and I've told him to tell the teacher the gag so she can understand the pivotal importance of Chuck in modern education. If only there was an animated Chuck Norris TV programme or DS game, then my work would be done.

However, the joke that 'When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital' got a laugh

 

You got a smart kid, would be a waste to put him through the British meat grinder.

 

After a moose is kicked look on the left side of the chair.

Edited August 22, 201015 yr by Calax

In 7th grade, I teach the students how Chuck Norris took down the Roman Empire, so it is good that you are starting early on this curriculum.

In 7th grade, I teach the students how Chuck Norris took down the Roman Empire, so it is good that you are starting early on this curriculum.

 

This is why the US edumacation system is inherently superior to ours. It also explains the historical accuracy of movies such as U-51 and The Patriot.

In 7th grade, I teach the students how Chuck Norris took down the Roman Empire, so it is good that you are starting early on this curriculum.

 

Sig quote time!

I may have already mentioned that when my friend's kid got baptised I made him a present of Sun Tzu's Art of War. They really REALLY should teach that **** before high school.