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Supermarket Hyjinx IX: Back to the Market.


thepixiesrock

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b

I had thought that some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, for they imitated humanity so abominably. - Book of Counted Sorrows

 

'Cause I won't know the man that kills me

and I don't know these men I kill

but we all wind up on the same side

'cause ain't none of us doin' god's will.

- Everlast

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You sneak in close, silent like, or at least, you thought so. It turns out that you aren't so stealthy, and did I mention that you had a few drinks this morning. I did, if you don't remember, it's because you were, and are, too drunk. They hear you sneak up and they all turn and look at you. They have on employee shirts, but that doesn't fool you, does it? "Who are you?" one questions.

 

( a ) "Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Gun"

"Gun who?"

"I'm gunna shoot you. With a gun."

You shoot them all.

 

( b ) You look around quickly, "Uh, the names, Stu, Stu Baker. I'm the... Health inspector. I'm here to inspect... Uh, your health?"

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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"Stu Baker? You aren't Stu Baker, Stu Baker is right there." Damn, out of all the names you could have picked how did you pick that one? Oh, thats right, you read it right off of the guys name tag. Perhaps not the best tactic.

 

( a ) Ok, so I'm not really Stu Baker, but I am- *You shoot everyone.*

 

( b ) What? *Soot Stu Baker* That man was an imposter.

 

( c ) Give up and roll up into a fetal postion on the floor.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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The adventure will continue later, I have to go.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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Stu Baker's lifeless body falls to the floor. You unload three more rounds for good measure. "Are you mad!" One of them says. "Get him!" says another. "Easy fellas, easy, that man was an imposter, most likely a cop of some sort." You reply. "Have you any proof?" says one man.

 

"Well, uh":

 

( a ) This is all the proof I need! (You shoot everyone.)

 

( b ) Look. (Walk over to body, plant the dead police oficers badge on the man, and then take it out of his pocket and show it to the group.

 

( c ) Surrender.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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"Egads, you're right!" what apears to be the leader shouts, "We should get going now, we have to get to the airport."

 

( a ) "Airport? No, you guys don't need to go to the airport, you need to go to the hospital, because I get the feeling you are all about to come down with a case of bullititis!" (Shoot everyone.)

 

( b ) "Come with me, I have a bus waiting out front." (Lead them outside to where the police are and end all of this the right way.)

 

( c ) (Follow them out the back way.)

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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You follow them out the back where there is a bus waiting. After a long ride, and a lond day, a man has... Needs, you know... And, well, that one chick looks pretty, good looking...

 

( a ) Hey, how about you and me go in the back and get down to business!

 

( b ) Excuse me, I was just wondering if, well, you wanted to accompany me in the back of the bus, to have sex with me, in the back of the bus.

 

( c ) Do nothing.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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b

I had thought that some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, for they imitated humanity so abominably. - Book of Counted Sorrows

 

'Cause I won't know the man that kills me

and I don't know these men I kill

but we all wind up on the same side

'cause ain't none of us doin' god's will.

- Everlast

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"Are you mad!? Sir! Sir! Stu is trying to have "sex" with me, I think..." She screams. "What? That means... Get him!"

 

( a ) You know, you still have your guns, you could kill these guys at any time.

 

( b ) Do nothing. Pansy girl.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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A. for god sakes!

I had thought that some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, for they imitated humanity so abominably. - Book of Counted Sorrows

 

'Cause I won't know the man that kills me

and I don't know these men I kill

but we all wind up on the same side

'cause ain't none of us doin' god's will.

- Everlast

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I one single motion, you manage to kill them all. A roundhouse kick, combined with a left hook, and three gunshots. You are God damned Jackie Chan, good for you. But, you are still a man after all, and a man has his needs...

 

( a ) Necrophilia isn't gross, it's just misunderstood.

 

( b ) Search the bodies for any clues

 

Well, you could do that after you you know, get down to business...

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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You search the bodies for clues, but the don't have any on them.

 

( a ) Well, it couldn't last forever, not every loose end will be tied up. It was a good run while it lasted, but I think it's time to close the book on this one. All this, just for some milk. Milk! Thats what you need, milk. (Go back to the supermarket and get some milk.)

 

( b ) Got to the airport, and see if you can find anything.

 

( c ) Just go home.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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b

I had thought that some of nature's journeymen had made men and not made them well, for they imitated humanity so abominably. - Book of Counted Sorrows

 

'Cause I won't know the man that kills me

and I don't know these men I kill

but we all wind up on the same side

'cause ain't none of us doin' god's will.

- Everlast

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You go to the airport, and see if you can find anything. You manage to get some information out. It seems that the employees of the supermarket were going on a company vacation to the Bahamas. Turns out, there was nothing illegal going on at all.

 

( a ) It's time to go home, I have a carton of milk, and two lovely dead ladies with my name on it.

 

( b ) Time to go to the Bahamas, the employees gave you a ticket, so your all set!

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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You try to pass yourself off as Stu, but unfortunately, you have no identification on you, and did I mention you are drunk, because you are. Man you are drunk. You get to a security checkpoint and ar asked to show your I.D. You don't have any, and, since this is America, (Didn't I mention we were in America? Well, I did. Did I mention how drunk you were, and how forgetful you are when you are drunk?) you are taken down by the security. You pull out your gun, thinking it will prove that you are a cop, but, no dice. You are shot six time.

 

The End. Stay tuned, for more choose-your-own-adventures are on there way!

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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You can now use this thread to discuss the adventure that has just been finished, until I put up a new adventure.

Lou Gutman, P.I.- It's like I'm not even trying anymore!
http://theatomicdanger.iforumer.com/index....theatomicdanger

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the galaxy. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips. I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my viens. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk, and free throw. I am there.

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