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kirottu

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Everything posted by kirottu

  1. Repconn HQ (for handsomest flying testicle ever) These guys look like they had a critical failure with hacking. Is that even possible? Weird. Mrs? I'm being misgendered by these oppressive robotlords. I want to file a complaint! Well, at least it is a step to right direction, but I will still be telling all about this to all of my followers... which I have two. So you know word is going to go around and stuff. Ha! Nothing beats luck. Not in good or bad. Really. Two Brotherhood of Steel members in full armor killed by falling ceiling. Luck is no dump stat. You had me at "hunamity". ED-E can come to your place and play. While I wait I think I'll go see a moving picture. This is the worst moving picture ever. It's just an eye, nothing else. Maybe it gets better if I'm drunk? Oh Boy dammit!
  2. https://youtu.be/VsgEOXlaaI8?t=6m39s If guitars could cry...
  3. Zion (Part 4, the end is nigh) I will shoot the whites off White Legs. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, 'murica! Tactics 101: Keep shooting at their legs until they expect nothing else... ...then *BOOM* headshot! Works every time. Couldn't have done this speech check without meeting people magazine and party time mentats. Remember kids, if the hurdle seems too high just use drugs. That's how all the cool people do it. In the end Follows-Chalk was encouraged to stay with his people, Waking Cloud was told the truth about her husband, and Sorrows lost their innocence, but are now capable of dealing with anything the wasteland might throw against them. So endeth Honest Hearts.
  4. Zion (Part 4, final bits of exploring) Ha! Even the physics bow down before me. Good bye Cave Father, you were no Vault Boy, but you were pretty damn cool. *sniff* I'm not crying. I just got something in my eye.
  5. Zion (Part 3, it was a quest I had to do it) But drugs are bad, mmmkay? Then again my mom always said: "When in a vault do as the vault dwellers do." Maybe just this time. Dude! This is so trippy. It's a bear with only one head. Oh my Boy! Dude. My middle name is "Bravery". Just without the "ry" part, you know? Dude! ****'s on fire, yo! I'm like so high right now. Today I learned drugs are awesome!
  6. Zion (Part 1, meeting new people) Utman? I'm hunam and proud of it. These savages can't even speak properly. Lord? There's no proof of this Lords existence. I mean, do you see any castles around? When you believe in Vault Boy you know it to be true, since there are vaults around. The logic is flawless. Granted there are caves around, but wouldn't you rather live in a vault than in a cave, Vault Boy 2 other religions 0. Zion (Part 2, paid advertisement) They are in your house playing your pool. They are in your store taking your favourite snacks. This is what happens today at Zion. The same could happen tomorrow at Mojave. Buy now new a Anti-materiel rifle or a Light machine gun. Both are great for your everyday home defense. Best prices at Gun Runners. Gun Runners, pick up your gun and make them run for their lives.
  7. Zion (intro) My rifle is so big no one will ever think I'm a side kick ever again. Side note: The gun does slightly less damage than hunting rifle, but only requires 4 strength. Rifle, armor and backpack are from the Courier's Stash mod. No screenshot from finishing that quest line, because I had a brain fart, and it was just hunting down guys who had taken my stuff. Also from now on I'm using the Configator thing to increase my draw distances. Ok, everybody is here and we're off to Zion. They are dead. They are all dead! It wasn't my fault! I'm just a sidekick. Lets just look at this grand vista and forget all those dead bodies back there. It wasn't my fault.
  8. Or maybe you should just play some games so you would actually know what you're talking about. Link to the whole article.
  9. Camp McCarran (part 1) Yeah, this looks like a target rich environment for some slapping. Oh wait, an actual cool NCR guy. No rules, no regulations, just killing baddies, and dishing out some cool oneliners. This is going to be just like my mom's stories. Dark and stormy night here I come! The next golf course you're going to play is in hell. It has nine holes and you are it. Boom! Hello chef, do you know what's for dinner? Ka-Pow! It is lead covered justice! Justice is blind so she sees no color...? No. Someone with such a beautiful name shouldn't do such bad things? No no! I've lost the oneliners. Wait... They will call you "Red" after I'm done with you. *sigh* It just feels too late. I knew fiends were crazy, but naming a dog after yourself? That's no ordinary crazy. That's some next level **** right there. What?! You had a rule against head shots? I hit him to the side of his head! You can still totally recognize him. That's it! I'm leaving "civilization" for a while and go with Happy Trails caravan to Zion. Seriously, who makes a rule against head shots?
  10. Boulder City I was only half joking here. Sometimes it feels like I'm out of my body and watching myself from some sort of 3rd person view. Creepy. Really, NCR, really? Orders, shmordes, I gave them my word. You gave your word. We're not going to shoot them in their backs. I think it's time to slap some reason in to some high ranking NCR officials.
  11. Helios One Remember kids, if you're good enough at bull****ting you can get any job. Though, these kind of people tend to focus on certain professions. My mom told me that in the old world these people would have been "gaming journalists". Oh come on NCR. Did your dog feeder die and now no one else can feed them, because of jurisdiction? Feed your dogs. Choices choices... First one is out, because NCR continues to disappoint me, but they don't disappoint me enough for number two. Archimedes would mean I would get much more firepower and I am force of goodness, but in the end that kind of thinking might lead to darkness. So... Sun is for everyone.
  12. Repconn Test Site Shooting bunch of unarmed ghouls who then have to run uphill to get to me. It's just like my mom always used to say: "If the fight is fair then you are doing it wrong." "Paint me like one of your french ghouls", he said with his last breath. What is "french" anyways? That's what she said! Hahahaa. Ha ha. Ha. Laugh the tears away, Korppi, laugh the tears away. Davison, your cloak is no match for the apt sensors of ED-E, nor can your blade go against Veronica's fists of fury, but your armor is more than a match against my rifle of rat slaying. How... Wait, am I the sidekick? Oh my Vault Boy... I don't think I have ever felt this way. May I call you Chris? It's like you found the words to describe the pain in my very soul, Chris. How did you do that? Are we soul mates? We are, aren't we, Chris. You are a poet. Let's be BFFs forever and ever. Looks like Mr. Bright had a small oopsie before starting his grand speech. See you Space Cowboys. This was really nice double dose of goodness. I got to help the ghouls to fulfill their dream and that solved Novac's problem as well. Finally, a small gift for my new BFF. Teddy bears are the perfect gift for any balding man. Every inch of their bodies is covered by smooth fur and they will never go bald. As long as you have your teddy bears and I have mine somehow we will always be connected, Chris, always.
  13. I was talking about the rifle not Daisy. Not that I'm ageist or anything. Just her eyes, man, those dark cold eyes of death would shrivel my manhood.
  14. Novac Very well, since you did save my life your wish is my command. I shall henceforth call you "Biscuit Sempai". Also I'll try to find some butter. My mom always said guys like him make frenemies not enemies. Those black eyes of death will haunt me the rest of my days. I guess this will be the one star bottle cap I wont be getting. Some day Patencia, some day you will feel the sweet caress of my finger on your tigger, the soft tingle of my breath against your cheek, and, oh my, I think I need to take a moment. There is only one cure for slavery... ...the headshot of Justice!
  15. They have finally graduated from attacking gamers and games to attacking developers.
  16. Interlude (Road to Novac feat. Legion raid camp and Broc flower cave) "The roads of Mojave are dangerous and full of surprises, but with a new night scope for your rifle you'll be the surprise, the last surprise their sorry asses will ever get. Now for only 199 caps." I wonder how this will turn out. Surely Ceasar's Legion wouldn't put out an ambush for traders... ...and the prize for the worst shot ever goes to a legionary. Or perhaps the Vault Boy himself decided to help the traders from his great Vault of the sky. We tanketh thee for this bountiful loot. Oh the happenings just keep rolling to my favour. Now I can save these sorry bastards while NCR and the Legion fight it out. Everything is going so well. What a beautiful day it is. Why would you call them "Unusual" that's just ableist. Like with my testicle you should simply call it big not "unusual"...if I had a big testicle, which I don't... Oh dear Vault Boy! These creatures should be called "Furry dismemberment death rodents from the devils anus"! Everything was going so well and now I'm getting burried by these things. Finally, literally so high on Med-X that this devil's cave could collapse on me and I wouldn't feel a thing, I find my prize. Never again...
  17. There's the thing Lexx is using. If you want to go for something more extreme there's this.
  18. Nipton Oh look, two people fighting outside Nipton. I wonder whose side should I take? She's obviously a strong independent woman who needs no man. So I'm shooting her in the back for equality. No support for damsels in distress here. Remember kids, when you're siding with equality you're siding with the forces of goodness+. Yes definitely safer. In my personal experience far less accidents happen to people without star bottle caps. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I don't think these people are on the side of goodness. Maybe you guys just need friend to whom you could talk. Take my teddy bear. She's a excellent listener. Guys? Sheesh. You would think Ceasar's Legionaries would understand to take the olive branch when they see one. Nipton, not a happy place. Everyone was dead and I didn't get to kill them. Not that I would have, since I'm good, but I'm just saying.
  19. Primm (Part 2) I have a pardon for Myers, but first lets just check these apartments through, because of, uh, reasons. Oh hello, do you come here often? *cough* I mean... lets just make one thing absolutely clear. I will never ever steal anything. Ever... but there are incy wincy exceptions like skill books, because it would be criminal not to use those. And stealing when it doesn't lower my karma, because clearly that action has been blessed by the Vault Boy himself. And star bottle caps because of reasons. Oh just rub it in will you. It wasn't "My kind of town". It was his kind of town, but that's okay. I'm not bitter. I'm sure they will be very happy together. Couriers Stash (Part 1) Searching for the clues one butt at the time. That's way too far. Who do they think I am, a courier? Oh right.
  20. INTERLUDE (Road to Mojave Outpost) You can't do it yourself? Well, I guess "homebody" was what they wanted. I'm not bitter so I'll do it. That is a sign of M, isn't it? My mom told me about those. You could find "buregers" at sign of M. They were the greatest food ever created at the old world. Such strong is their magic that they would still be perfectly edible. No one will ever notice me until it's too late. I'm like a fart in a desert. What is this? A prison for mantises? Ah violence, if it's not working you're not using enough of it. Oh dear Vault Boy, I have never been this disappointed in my life. It's just too guys shaking hands, no buregers anywhere. I so tired of squirrel bits and gecko steaks. Wait... what are "squirrels"? I have never seen one.
  21. NCR Correctional Facility I have a cunning plan. First I sneak in from safe distance, kill some far a way guards, loot their armor, put it on... ...and great success! Now I just go in, talk to sheriff Myers, get out, and they wont even know I was ever there. They aren't hostile! BASK IN THE GLORY OF MY 9 INTELLIGENT! No one else could have thought so perfect and cunning plan. Oh crap! He looks pissed. They are all pissed! My plan, my beautiful plan... Oh crap on a crapper! Crap, they just keep on coming! Crap, there's like gazillion of them! Cra... No wait... This is art not crap. In the end all Powder Gangers were killed, Myers went to Primm, and everything not bolted down was stolen. I mean not stolen. I had only one rule for this playthrough and I didn't break it, technically. Since taking their stuff didn't lower my karma it was more like I was saving their stuff from their evil owners and that's what we players on the side of righteousness do. Suck it Evil!
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