The official history:
The Pink one never thought about tomorrow;
He ate and swallowed, drowning his sorrow.
In a fit of madness, in flew Sir Baddass!
Calling the Pink one a monster, a gluttony impostor.
Good to his word, out flew his sword.
He hacked and cut, but the goo did anything but.
The Pink one ate the fool's tool, and thus began to drool.
It tasted quite heavenly, a full on symphony!
He then had a hunch, and began to munch,
Much to Lord Baddass's dismay.
The Pink one rejoiced! There was finally a choice!
Holy metal soothed his soul; didn't even need the bowl!
He began a quest, forsooth, to mend his sweet tooth!
And thus began Lord Kerfluffleupogus's story, tales of tidings so gory!
So saith the Scribe of the Obsidian Order....