Monte Carlo

I guess the next phase is suggesting REALLY AWFUL prestige classes for the Bowl World campaign (DSR:HotNL). Bowl World is the top secret working title, BTW. We have - Warrior Maiden of Laaaa Gladys Knight Grim Dark Elven Scimitar Ninja --- Ninjas and katanas clearly have a role in The Worst Fantasy Setting Ever. We aren't necessarily using D&D. In fact, key stats will be - POWANESS: How much power you have to smite your enemies HOTNESS: How hot your character looks AWESOMENESS: How all-round awesome your character is FLIP-OUT AND KILL PEOPLE-NESS: Your ability to do "Neo-from-the-Matrix" type moves MAGICALNESS: How much mana you have to fuel youe special moves Obviously, this is ripped directly form 4E D&D, but am open to suggestions that we actually go to the other extreme and create over-nerdy stat-based, hugely complicated and overblown system where you have stat points for beard length, ability to play cards and pitch a tent. Will post FAQs soon.

^ That's the whole point of CRPGs. It's the unique selling point. You can only play, say, Crysis, once or twice (I suppose FPS games rely on multiplayer) but a good CRPG has a matrix of factors that make it replayable. Any half-decent CRPG I've bought I've replayed numerous times: it's one of the things I expect when I buy it. It's also why party-based games (either character-driven or mechanics driven like IWD) are so replayable (next time I'll do it with a party of bards or whatever) are so replayable.

Dammit, I know we've had our differences but that's brilliant. Do you work at Bioware or something?

I think you might be unrepresentative as you are, clearly, a games junkie. Nothing wrong with that, but OTOH I do tend to re-play games. What happens is that my life gets busy. I forget about my games, and then when things calm down and I get some time to game again I rediscover them. So rather than drop another fifty or sixty pounds on new games I try to finish or replay my old ones instead. OK, I'm always 6 months plus behind the gaming curve and have to ask people here WTF is going on with games, but a lot of older guys with families / long hours etc I know who like gaming are in a similar boat. Therefore, long games are ideal for people like me (especially modded games and trust me DA:O will be heavily modded adding longevity). I mean, I'm still playing Medieval TW2, MotB and Sacred for chrissakes. Cheers MC

^ Fantastic. Will definitely be picking this up.

^ Very cool, a feature where you could choose which one, a la GTA's radio stations would be even cooler. Am looking forward to playing this whilst hooked up to an IV supply of Jack Daniels and wearing my viking helmet. p.s. thanks for the console advice, I'm not bothered about Blu-Ray (WHATSOEVER) so it looks like it'll be the 360, which will delight Mrs. MC as I've already promised MC Junior a Wii. Cheers MC

I never finished MotB. Not because I didn't like it, but because I wasn't really happy with my character build (Human STR-pumped Bbn / Ftr / Frenzied Berserker uber-tank) and I'm not the D&D mentat I used to be. Now I'm going to try again and want some advice. Here are my parameters: 1. I prefer predominantly non-spellcasting classes 2. I like melee, not averse to stealthy characters, fave build used to be Ftr / Rog types 3. If I am playing spellcasters I much prefer clerics (anyway, you get the very effective high level Red Wizard NPC straight off) 4. Am quite happy to build power-gamed, micro-managed, rule-bendingly powerful character 5. Don't spoil me, but you could set me on the right path to enjoy the best dialogue / plot outcomes 6. Alignment ain't an issue, I'll happily play whatever's fun Thanks in advance, I know you'll come through for me! Cheers (and happy Independence Day to the Americans). Cheers MC

Obvious question: who's doing the music for this?

I can see it now... Langley, Virginia - NOW CIA Analyst: "Sir, we have a new plan to propagate US cultural hegemony." CIA Senior Intel Dude: "What's that? I'm extremely important and have to create a new Microsoft Excel spreadsheet." CIA Analyst (drinking lukewarm coffee from 'Dilbert' mug): "We have decided to create the worst fantasy role-playing game setting. Ever." CIA Senior Intel Dude (looks slightly alarmed): "Who currently has bad fantasy setting superiority?" CIA Analyst: "The Canadians, sir." CIA Senior Intel Dude: "Godammit, those sneaky Canucks! Can't we just steal theirs?" CIA Analyst: "It's not released until October. We need to beat them, stealing it could be construed as an act of aggression." CIA Senior Intel Dude (looking sternly into the distance and to the tune of The Star Spangled Banner): "Then get to it, dammit! We're Americans, we can acheive anything when we put our collective genius to it! Gather the worst fantasy setting writers ever, offer them whatever they want and sit them in an underground bunker until they're goddam finished! Got that?" CIA Analyst: "YES SIR!" ---

^ I wouldn't, do they still do console-exclusive releases?

Have reviewed the thread. Meshugger's titles were awesome, but for a number of reasons (most of them to do with meltdown on my spell-checker) I'm going with Darth InSidious' Dark Shadows Rising: Hordes of the Narcolich It's awful, and just right. Darth wins an NPC cameo within DSR:HotN(L) (I love the acronym, it has just the right level of self-important meta-knowledge one finds on gaming forums). He will probably be either (a) a cute kobold © a minor-level boss villain, altho Lucasarts might sue) or © a cuddly pet owned by a hulking warrior NPC. Cheers MC

^ Or, as I did with TOEE's vignettes, you play each origin story for the first chapter of the game and then proceed with the party / character you like best.

A concept game based on the album cover art of Iron Maiden and Meatloaf? Genius. I'm getting it, I might even buy a console just to play it. 360 or PS3? You kids know 'bout these things. Cheers MC

I presume, with the tool set, you could create your own origin story, punt it out there for others to play? The tool set will be the saving grace of this project, I predict that you'll get Elder Scrolls-volume plug-ins / mods. There, I said something moderately positive.

'Narcolich' is cool, but is it also suggestive that our undead sorcerer is also a drug dealer? Maybe we can fit some GTA cliches in there too. Y'know, zombies who swear a lot and wear bikinis.

Because that's exactly what we're saying. If you have grievances towards what you perceive from DA to not be what you're looking for, then fine. The game doesn't seem to interest you and virtually every facet of it seems to be subpar. But hey, I'm sure if Gorion's last name had been Cousland and hence your character was known as a Cousland by some in the game, Baldur's Gate would have been an infinitely subpar game. OK, I get the message. Now you can stop playing board cop. Now you're being precious. If I wanted to join a knitting circle I'd go to the Bio forums. This one is a good blend of jaded gamers without being too Codex and fairly positive, balanced views.

I have seen the light, Dragon Age will be awesome. I am running out today to buy the entire Bioware back catalogue, and am re-installing NWN1 to remind me how wrong I was about Bioware marketing.

Please don't feel sorry for me. I be fine. Honestly.

Would love to, but I have the technical skills of a tadpole. I am collating this precious source material, though, and will post spoof Bio-hype style puff-piece about how BOWL WORLD - SHADOWS OF THE SLUMBER-LICH is the most ground-breaking piece of interactive art since Pac Man (etc). There will be a really, really lame dark elf prestige class called DUAL-WIELD SCIMITAR DIETY or something, too. Cheers MC

^ CRANK UP THAT DIFFICULTY SLIDER

^ Perhaps. Or is it that creating the illusion of freedom / control within those constraints is where the real skill lies? For me, ditching NPC X in favour of NPC Y and visiting the tower of doom before the cavern of challenges, even though the tower of doom is FAR more difficult at this stage in the game is what it's all about. And I'm deliberately playing a sub-optimal, uber-gimped character because that's what I felt like doing at the time. This side-quest is utterly irrelevant to the outcome of the overall plot but allows me to make some hilarious armour and unlocks a couple of easter eggs. Hell, even the soppy romance is so bad it's good. And because it's well designed and immersive and fun, the critical path looks like it's been made out of elastic, not concrete. I'm doubting whether DA:O is going to do much better than 5 or 6 out of 10 on any of these.

^ :: Shrugs :: You can be amusingly facetious about what floats other people's boats when it comes to having fun in a game. What's superficial to you is cool to me. Vice versa. Bio is setting out it's stall that this is all about choice and the impact of your decisions. My riposte is that your 'choice' appears to be limited to what suits the author of the game. Lots of people adore the idea of the game as meta-novel where you become a character in it. Bio fans particularly. I'm not, but given that I was told that the second coming, spiritual heir to BG (one of my favourite games ever) was coming down the track I can be forgiven for having higher expectations. Cheers MC

^ I should add that the last Bio game I played was NWN1. All subsequent titles haven't tempted me at all. Mass Effect, in particular, seems uniquely designed for me not to want to play it.

^ Fair enough, but I'm sure even you'll concede the matrix of options you'd take for granted in, say, the BG or IWD series is gone. In those I could make a male human thief with pink hair or a female gnome barbarian with blue skin. Their origin or backstory was ambiguous enough for me to more or less forget about it should I choose (which I usually do). Are these options shallow? Perhaps. Are they my decisions to make? Absolutely. Now I can make a human noble called Cousland who becomes a Grey Warden. Hey, wait a minute, that wasn't actually a choice, was it? I'm sure my pre-determined character can level up how I choose, with skills and stuff.... right? Or are those decisions also getting in the way of me enjoying all the exciting new Bio-Choices on offer?

^ Thanks, I suspect I'll be picking it up.