Honestly, while I don't feel like Obsidian was being misleading about the romances, I think a lot of us are still very much surprised about their choice to have Pallegina and Eder not be romancable. Especially Eder, since he is a fan favourite, and I'm betting one of the reasons a LOT of people were super excited about the idea of relationships / romance making it into the game. I guess a lot of people, myself included, just didn't really think he could NOT be a romance option, since he's such a popular character and actually made the most sense out of all the characters. (Besides Aloth and Pallegina). And he has such a great rapport and history with the main character, it's really incredibly surprising that they went that route with him, and really disappointing as well.
And quite frankly, it kinda felt like a slap to the face that not only he is NOT romancable, but his personal quest is about finding an old flame of his. Like sorry, but that just feels like the writer wanted to rub it in that he isn't really fond of romances in games. Just... sheesh. And if it's really true that Eder can get together with Xoti, then that's just a double slap in the face.
I get that a writer might not feel comfortable with certain themes, but in Eder's case I really think this was one hell of a bad decision, and could have been easily implemented to make a lot of fans happy. They could have just have one of the other writers pick up on the romance, one who feels more comfortable writing stuff like that. But this? This feels really just condescending and mean-spirited.
*sigh* Welp, another character to add to my long list of characters I wished were romanceable, but weren't (Got Varric'ed again, apparently)