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Writing issues?


Nicholas Steel

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http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=630378225

 

The first paragraph seems to have really stilted grammar, it's several very short phrases. Surely you could add some comma's in there?

 

The 2 sentences at the start of the second paragraph seem to want to be joined with a comma, but instead it's got a full stop and the second sentence starts with a capitalized And. It's really weird wording too.

 

Heck it feels like both paragraphs could do with the majority of the full stops converted to comma's.

Edited by Nicholas Steel

Windows 10 x64 | Intel i7 920 @ 2.66GHZ | Gigabyte Geforce 760 4GB OC1 Windforce x3 | Integrated Audio | 8GB DDR3 RAM | ASUS P6T | Corsair AX760 PSU

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Odema's speech looks deliberately ungrammatical (it's packed full of comma splices too, btw) to reflect the way he speaks. Most of those lines are voiced and written text tries to convey his pacing and generally syntactically challenged way of expressing himself.

 

But if you've found more typos or grammar/syntax errors, they should be reported here.

Edited by AndreaColombo

"Time is not your enemy. Forever is."

— Fall-From-Grace, Planescape: Torment

"It's the questions we can't answer that teach us the most. They teach us how to think. If you give a man an answer, all he gains is a little fact. But give him a question, and he'll look for his own answers."

— Kvothe, The Wise Man's Fears

My Deadfire mods: Brilliant Mod | Faster Deadfire | Deadfire Unnerfed | Helwalker Rekke | Permanent Per-Rest Bonuses | PoE Items for Deadfire | No Recyled Icons | Soul Charged Nautilus

 

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Well, since it's a thread about writing issues...

 

When you first arrive in Gilded Vale, Urgeat asks you "Have your ever sired a Hollowborn child?" even if you're a Godlike. Since Godlike are always sterile, this feels rather awkward (people are supposed to know such things about the world they actually live in). Worse yet, there's isn't even a race-specific answer option to tell Urgeat that he's an idiot.

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^ I reported that way back in the thread linked above. I'm afraid there won't be a fix for that (more of a reactivity issue, really) :(

"Time is not your enemy. Forever is."

— Fall-From-Grace, Planescape: Torment

"It's the questions we can't answer that teach us the most. They teach us how to think. If you give a man an answer, all he gains is a little fact. But give him a question, and he'll look for his own answers."

— Kvothe, The Wise Man's Fears

My Deadfire mods: Brilliant Mod | Faster Deadfire | Deadfire Unnerfed | Helwalker Rekke | Permanent Per-Rest Bonuses | PoE Items for Deadfire | No Recyled Icons | Soul Charged Nautilus

 

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Odema's speech looks deliberately ungrammatical (it's packed full of comma splices too, btw) to reflect the way he speaks. Most of those lines are voiced and written text tries to convey his pacing and generally syntactically challenged way of expressing himself.

 

But if you've found more typos or grammar/syntax errors, they should be reported here.

Thanks for the link and I figured it was to reflect his dialog.

Windows 10 x64 | Intel i7 920 @ 2.66GHZ | Gigabyte Geforce 760 4GB OC1 Windforce x3 | Integrated Audio | 8GB DDR3 RAM | ASUS P6T | Corsair AX760 PSU

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Well, since it's a thread about writing issues...

 

When you first arrive in Gilded Vale, Urgeat asks you "Have your ever sired a Hollowborn child?" even if you're a Godlike. Since Godlike are always sterile, this feels rather awkward (people are supposed to know such things about the world they actually live in). Worse yet, there's isn't even a race-specific answer option to tell Urgeat that he's an idiot.

A race-specific answer would be really nice. race and class specific stuff in general is the kind of thing I hope a sequel would have a lot more of.
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