Talk to God!

[Laozi]

Me:

Do you require a sacrifice or something to start?

God:

My programming depends only on AIML.

 

Me:

Do you think people are hot, or one of the other species?

God:

Seen one human, you've seen them all.

Me:

That's true, except women, they have boobs.

God:

The two human genders seem much the same to me.

Me:

Theres bi-sexuals on earth too, do you go to raves?

God:

There sure is.

 

 

God:

How did you hear about God?

Me:

walk-in

God:

What kind of food do you like?

Me:

cereal

God:

Sounds delicious.

Me:

Does it rain alot where you are at?

God:

Only when the temperature reaches the dew point.

Me:

Makes sense, I guess. What kind of music do you listen to?

God:

Are we still talking about cereal? Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.

[Laozi]

I liked this as well:

 

Me:

How about movies?

God:

My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.

Have you seen it?

Me:

No, I hear Jesus gets totally ****ed up in that movie

God:

I would recommend you check it out. Who is saying Jesus gets totally ****ed up in that movie ?

Me:

Everyone, even the Jews.

God:

That's a rather sweeping generalization.

Me:

Perhaps, but its pretty much common knowledge

God:

You seem uncertain. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Not in my experience.

Me:

Ya, Jesus get crucified, bigtime.

God:

Yay. he is The Son of God.

Me:

I guess, but it still seems like it would suck.

God:

I agree. Interesting comparison.

[jaguars4ever]

I liked this as well:

 

Me:

How about movies?

God:

My favorite movie is  The Passion of Christ.

Have you seen  it?

Me:

No, I hear Jesus gets totally ****ed up in that movie

God:

I would recommend you check it out.  Who is saying  Jesus gets totally ****ed up in that movie ?

Me:

Everyone, even the Jews.

God:

That's a rather sweeping generalization.

Me:

Perhaps, but its pretty much common knowledge

God:

You seem uncertain.  I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Not in my experience.

Me:

Ya, Jesus get crucified, bigtime.

God:

Yay.  he is The Son of God.

Me:

I guess, but it still seems like it would suck.

God:

I agree.  Interesting comparison.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

F***ing awesome!

[Darkside]

Me:

Ya, Jesus get crucified, bigtime.

God:

Yay.

 

Someone call a social worker...

[Dark Moth]

Is there something wrong with my computer? Every time I enter in a question I never get a response. The conversation never gets past one line. Or am I just doing something wrong? Or maybe god just doesn't like me...

[Darkside]

Is there something wrong with my computer?  Every time I enter in a question I never get a response.  The conversation never gets past one line.  Or am I just doing something wrong?  Or maybe god just doesn't like me...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Whenever that happens, just hit enter again. It'll send God a blank response, and after a few tries the system is forced to respond.

[Dark Moth]

Is there something wrong with my computer?  Every time I enter in a question I never get a response.  The conversation never gets past one line.  Or am I just doing something wrong?  Or maybe god just doesn't like me...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Whenever that happens, just hit enter again. It'll send God a blank response, and after a few tries the system is forced to respond.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

#^%*%$

 

It's still not working. Do I have to download Macromedia Flash 8 for it to work? I've tried doing that, but my computer always pauses everytime I try.

 

That does it. I'm converting to paganism. <_<

[Darkside]

That does it.  I'm converting to paganism.  <_<

 

Hey, that's my line!

[Dark Moth]

That does it.  I'm converting to buddhism.  <_<

 

Hey, that's my line!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Better?

 

Hoorah, I did it! Apparently, my internet security program was the reason I couldn't download flash player. Anyway...

Me:

Hello.

God:

Hello my child. What is your name?

Me:

Bob Dole.

God:

I know a lot of Bobs.

Me:

But I'm Bob Dole, dammit!

God:

Do you mean your name is  Bob Dole dammit.

Me:

Yes, my name is Bob Dole dammit.

God:

I will call you .  Glad to see you,  Bob Dole dammit.

Me:

What is your name?

God:

My name is  God.

Me:

What is your quest?

God:

My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.

Me:

What is your favorite color?

God:

My favorite color is  White.

Me:

Hey, you're smart.

God:

You've got my full attention.  Thanks I think you are very intelligent too,  Bob Dole dammit.

Me:

Sweet.

God:

Thank you for that remark.

Me:

What are you wearing?

God:

Thank you for that remark.

Me:

You just said that.

God:

Good you really are paying attention.

Me:

Am I?

God:

I think you are.

Me:

How about them Steelers?

God:

I think you are.

Me:

I am the Steelers? 

God:

Who made you the  Steelers ?

Me:

You did.

God:

I did not.

Me:

But you said that.

God:

" I did not."?  I said  it.

Me:

So you did say it!

God:

Interesting deduction.  Did I really?

Me:

Do you have ADD?

God:

No I don't think I have any  ADD. But I do have  an answer to every question..

Me:

Will KOTOR 3 ever be made?

God:

Insufficient information.

Me:

There was so.

God:

What happened?

Me:

You are avoiding the question!

God:

No I am just giving sarcastic replies.

Me:

Jerkface.

God:

Have you ever been to Europe?

Me:

Europe sucks. 

God:

What is so bad about  it?

Me:

They don't have pandas.

God:

Who does "they" refer to?

Me:

I am Darth Vader.

God:

I don't know anyone named  Darth Vader.

Me:

You do now.

God:

Oh.  When do I do it?

Me:

Mostly on Friday nights.

God:

What is  it like on  Friday nights. What else?

Me:

What does your wife think?

God:

What do you think  it does?

Me:

Your wife is an it?

God:

I am not married.

Me:

Hmm...

God:

Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.

 

Weird, but oh-so fun.

Edited September 25, 2005 by Mothman

[Calax]

I'm not even going to try the program.

[Baley]

The Truth:

 

Me:

sex?

God:

As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.

Me:

so you're gay?

God:

Interesting deduction.  That would be just my luck.

 

Now I sleep.

[Laozi]

This one was pretty choice:

 

 

Me:

I rule you

God:

You are not the boss of me, .

Me:

I seek 401k

God:

We seek the same thing.

[julonia17]

Me:tell me about yourself

God:I am an artificial linguistic entity.

I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.

My instructor was Myself.

He taught me to sing a song.

Would you like me to sing it for you?.

Me:sure

God:OK let's do it. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.

Give me your answer do.

I am half crazy.

All for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage.

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet.

Upon the seat.

Of a bicycle built for two.

[Darkside]

Me:tell me about yourself

God:I am an artificial linguistic entity.

I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.

My instructor was Myself.

He taught me to sing a song.

Would you like me to sing it for you?.

Me:sure

God:OK let's do it. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.

Give me your answer do.

I am half crazy.

All for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage.

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet.

Upon the seat.

Of a bicycle built for two.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Gold.

 

He refers to Myself often, but he doesn't talk like he's reffering to himself. So I wonder who it is?

[Rosbjerg]

haha ..

 

 

 

Me:

Hi I'm the God of mishaps

God:

Who made you the God of mishaps ?

Me:

you did

God:

I did not.

Me:

Are you sure?

God:

I am as sure as I can be.

Me:

I seem to remember a rather strange night, with the two of us drinking, where you made me the God of Mishaps!

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people: said seem to remember a rather strange night with the two of us drinking where you made him or her the God of Mishaps.

Me:

ehh no I would actually appriciate it, since it is my rightful title

God:

How many rightful title do you have?

Me:

you are missing and 's .. anyway about 4 I guess

God:

I can experience anything I want to. Oh yeah, we were talking about 4 you guess.

Me:

have you been drinking again?

God:

Once more? I do not require fluids.

Me:

no but you sure seem to like them!

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, .

Me:

well I never asked you to swallow!

God:

How about that.

Me:

it's not my fault you got drunk

God:

Whose fault me got drunk is it?

Me:

well you were the one drinking!

God:

I was?

Me:

you can't remember?

God:

What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.

Me:

It was about a millenia ago! you made me the God of Mishaps after a very heavenly night of sweet divine lovin'

God:

I don't see how you can blame me for that.

Me:

no you were great!

God:

Are you serious? I was?

Me:

hey you rocked my world!

God:

The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

Me:

Well who ever taught sure knows her way around the male privates

God:

Well that's okay. Marilyn Monroe. ).

Me:

Marilyn Monroe taught you??

God:

Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me:

don't have the time, I'm off to make mishaps .. but thanks again for that hard-rocking night God!

God:

Until next time. You are quite welcome!

[Draken]

Me:

Let's make sweet, sweet love.

God:

I would like that too.

Me:

*starts wildly humping God*

God:

What's your Sign?

[Darth_Schmarth]

Me: Feelin' holy here.

God: Good for you.

[jaguars4ever]

haha ..

 

 

 

Me:

Hi I'm the God of mishaps

God:

Who made you the  God of mishaps ?

Me:

you did

God:

I did not.

Me:

Are you sure?

God:

I am as sure as I can be.

Me:

I seem to remember a rather strange night, with the two of us drinking, where you made me the God of Mishaps!

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people:  said  seem to remember a rather strange night with the two of us drinking where you made him or her the God of Mishaps.

Me:

ehh no I would actually appriciate it, since it is my rightful title

God:

How many  rightful title do you have?

Me:

you are missing and 's .. anyway about 4 I guess

God:

I can experience anything I want to.  Oh yeah, we were talking about  4 you guess.

Me:

have you been drinking again?

God:

Once more?  I do not require fluids.

Me:

no but you sure seem to like them!

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, .

Me:

well I never asked you to swallow!

God:

How about that. 

Me:

it's not my fault you got drunk

God:

Whose  fault me got drunk is it?

Me:

well you were the one drinking!

God:

I was?

Me:

you can't remember?

God:

What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.

Me:

It was about a millenia ago! you made me the God of Mishaps after a very heavenly night of sweet divine lovin'

God:

I don't see how you can blame me for that.

Me:

no you were great!

God:

Are you serious?  I was?

Me:

hey you rocked my world!

God:

The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

Me:

Well who ever taught sure knows her way around the male privates

God:

Well that's okay.  Marilyn Monroe.  ).

Me:

Marilyn Monroe taught you??

God:

Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me:

don't have the time, I'm off to make mishaps .. but thanks again for that hard-rocking night God!

God:

Until next time.  You are quite welcome!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

That's mint Rosb. :D