Town battles duck gang bangs

[kbned]

wouldnt normally link articles on a forum especially this kind but it was too funny not to.

 

The City of Slagelse is cracking down on aggressive hoards of amorous drakes that practice gang rapes against the few female ducks surviving in the city park

 

Normally, Slagelse's park is a peaceful oasis where small children and old ladies go to feed the ducks on the park's lake.

 

But all winter the park's visitors have witnessed violent and gruesome scenes, as gangs of 6-7 aggressive drakes attack the few female ducks that live on the lake, raping them and often drowning them in the havoc.

 

'This is simply gang rape,' Slagelse project leader Peter Johansen told daily newspaper Politiken, adding that the sexual abuse had escalated as spring approached and the drakes became even more randy.

 

Johansen said the lake's many drakes also showed aggressive behavior towards humans trying to feed them, and their sheer numbers posed an environmental problem in the Western Zealand town.

 

'All those ducks are ruining the lake with their excrements,' he said. 'It gives too much algae, which ruin the plant and animal habitat.'

 

Of the park's 150 ducks, only one in five is female. Johansen said it was natural that more male than female ducks were hatched, to ensure that every female could mate and lay eggs.

 

'The problem is that many females drown when the drakes fight over them, and that creates a bigger unbalance in the gender distribution,' Johansen said.

 

Despite the natural explanations, the city has had enough of the rapist hoards. A number of drakes will be trapped and shipped to other, bigger lakes, to find more females and space, and mend their ways.

http://www.jp.dk/english_news/artikel:aid=2934452/

 

EDIT: yes i know it isnt meant to be funny and i shouldnt find it funny but i do. even if you dont admit it, you do too.

[ShadowPaladin V1.0]

No never found it funny in the slightest.

 

If you find that funny I recomend a visit to the guidence concilor.

[Quasar]

I have to say, that's hilarious. Even though it shouldn't be.

[213374U]

You have an... interesting... concept of what is hilarious.

[Oerwinde]

Curse me for finding that humorous. But I already knew I was a horrible person.

[Laozi]

I have to say its a shame that duck court was abolished in the 1800s, It was exactly for reasons like this that the courts were established, and its only now that we have felt the sting of it absence. My heart goes out to the families of the victims and I hope that somehow justice will prevail in this Clockwork Orange-esque scenerio

[Child of Flame]

I have to say its a shame that duck court was abolished in the 1800s, It was exactly for reasons like this that the courts were established, and its only now that we have felt the sting of it absence. My heart goes out to the families of the victims and I hope that somehow justice will prevail in this Clockwork Orange-esque scenerio

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I found it funny too, but I already figured I was going to purgatory.

[Rosbjerg]

hahahaha .. and ROFL Laozi!

 

hmm it seems alot of fellow Danes are joining these boards now .. :ph34r:

[draakh_kimera]

hmm it seems alot of fellow Danes are joining these boards now ..  :ph34r:

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What?!? Where?? Noooo! :ph34r:

 

 

And, uh, the whole duck thing was just kinda weird, but imagine if it had been chimps and kumquatq3s (w00t)