Happy birthday Chris!
I agree on all your points except for ego-stroking the player. I'd strongly argue that your party members always fawning over you is a horribly boring idea mostly used by most crappy RPGs Characters who you have to earn their respect and friendship or characters that can lie, manipulate, or hold information from you are far more interesting; it makes them more like real characters with their own motivations and desires instead of just being wish-fulfillment mindless sycophants that follow you around for little reason. For example, one of the best twists of Planescape: Torment was that Morte and Dak'kon were both lying to you the entire time. Also Ignus and Vhailor were interesting in part because to keep them in your team you have to pretty much lie to them because they utterly hate you but don't recognize who you are. Games need to betray or twist player trust like that more often because due to the interactivity of the medium it's more of an emotional gut punch to have a character that you believed to be a trusted ally turn out to have been using you the entire time. Bioshock is also another great example to this, so much so that it wouldn't work nearly as well in any other medium.
I'm hoping you guys steer way from such pandering pap because you've all proven that you make characters far better than that.