I do not quite know why PnP role playing necessarily calls for stricter game mechanics. My experience is that the main issue both in PnP and in computer games which necessitates rules is not world simulation (i.e. interaction between the players and the GM) - rather, it is interaction between players. That is why one-on-one PnP campaigns tend to be very relaxed when it comes to rules: it is usually both in the GM's and in the player's interest to get on with the story (and the player will not have to show off his character's mad skillz to anyone but the guy who actually controls the story). Similarly, WoW, a modern CRPG which dwarfs Oblivion in terms of success, relies on an incredibly rigid rules based approach - and it has to, in order to ensure some kind of balance between players. In such a system, players' rewards are obviously not so much based on personal skill as on prior strategic choices. I would then argue that WoW's success is enough to dismiss the current dogma of CRPGs having to become more "action-oriented" - there appears to be a huge customer base who is entirely happy with classical RPG gratification.
There is a point to be made for more player control in the case of single PC CRPGs (like the Gothic and the Elder Scrolls series). Gothic 3 combat in particular makes the deficiencies of a "mixed" system apparent. Yes, I can make my PC perform all kinds of fancy attack moves, but what's the use when the difference appears to be marginal? Why do the old infinity engine "lure away and kill" tactics still work in a modern game? etc... However, in a party-based CRPG, I think that a departure from the rules-based approach is much less called for. Tactical micromanagement of party members' actions and skill-based combat are, to a large extent, mutually exclusive. Also, good party-based CPRGs will allow the various PCs to divide up their labour, which might reopen some paths which would have been closed in a game dependent on choices made by the player for one single character. Where many games get it wrong is at the level of interaction with NPCs. Usually, you will have to rely on some kind of lead character to engage in those. If you decide to have your lead character invest in combat skills rather than in diplomacy, tough luck. ToEE did a good job in allowing you to designate who of your party members would engage in conversations, and I do not quite see why this should not be done in a game offering some more meaningful dialogue choices than an old hack and slash DnD module.