I agree with everything here.
I am a girl playing a female Watcher and I am about 22 hours in and feel exactly the same. I went through the Xoti quest line and I wanted to help her and be there for her so I hugged her but that immediately activated her romance lines which just made me really annoyed. Why can't I just be a really good friend who's there for her and gives her a hug when she needs it without there being any romance? I do not have anything against LGBT romances in games in any way but the Bioware model just makes me wanna barf. It's written in such a bland and generic way that it really shatters my suspension of disbelief.
I wanted romances so bad after playing PoE1 but it clearly seems like they misunderstood something. Romances does not mean that your companions starts flirting with you immediately or something like that. I just wanted deep meaningful relationships that MIGHT escalate in romantic feelings. I go through everything with these people and I want to feel that it makes our bond stronger. I want my bond with Xoti to feel meaningful but it does not necessarily have to be romantic.
I have so much to say about this. Because on the other hand my boyfriend and I got so upset when we found out that neither Eder nor Pallegina is romanceable. Two people you have been through everything with. We were (unfortunately) anticipating something that could get close to BG2 relationships but yeah.... Instead we got generic romances from people you just met that leaves you with an empty feeling. It's just weird that instead of maybe just excluding one of the new companions' romances they chose to exclude two characters you already know so well. And especially one whom all the fans loved and really wanted to romance (just look at comments on YouTube videos, polls, forum threads and so on). His excuse is that he is not ready for a relationship buuuut he is totally ready to be with old flame, Xoti or a woman in a man's body (and not in the trans way but in a way where it is actually without consent which is quite offending right?). Okay, I take offence Eder.
I mean I totally get why Pallegina might not be romanceable because she is this stoic independent (maybe asexual) woman but my boyfriend thought that maybe he could get a romance kinda like they one with Jaheira in BG2. Well....
Oh and yeah it was also the last straw for me when Maia wanted me just after I got her in my team. I had her dismissed for a while and wanted to try her out but she apparently knew me well enough to being in love with me. Love at first sight! I know it's a bug but it just felt weird.
