You couldn't have the insult match between khelgar, neeshka and qara without all three associated with you. Unless you expect them to program n! cutscenes to cover all possible configurations, your options are limited by definiton. And I liked playing a good player and having to deal with Ammon Jerro's issues, which I would have missed if I'd been allowed to kick him out of my party.
OK, let's check out BG2--an incredibly nice plot twist with Yoshimo in the party. But, since it wasn't required, they have to cover for his possible absence with a complete kloodge that made me roll my eyes. And, if you didn't take him it screwed up your party configuration since you didn't have a spot for Imoen. That sequence would have been better if the designers could have been sure that Yoshimo was in your party.
Yes, there are ways to keep the game moving without required henchmen. But they are not as clean or entertaining, so there's a real benefit. It's a trade-off, but since for the most part "forced" companions means no more than "they stay at the same inn as you", I think it's worth it.
I thought all the talk about see invisibility meant people were having trouble getting by them.
If it's just going red people object to, I'm missing the problem then. You don't kill any of them, which is what I was trying to avoid. They're theoretically mad at you, but don't attack you and you'll never see them again? Is it a vanity thing, you want them still to like you even though you decided to steal their only precious posession?