Baley

Band: The Wu-Tang Clan (or Neutral Milk Hotel). Movie: I can't decide; Yojimbo, Tirez sur le pianiste, Sullivan's Travels, or O Brother, Where Art Thou? TV Series: The Office (UK) (or Deadwood). Cartoon: My Neighbour Totoro (or Les Triplettes de Belleville). Book: Portnoy's Complaint (by Philip Roth) (or Vonnegut's God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater). Comic Book: I once read The New Adventures of Hitler - does that count? PC Video Game: I have no idea, uh, the latest FIFA. Console Video Game|Games Console: I once had a Sega when I was, like, 5 - does that count?

I'm not sure, it's not really that great - a few scenes are hilariously melodramatic, and like, the film doesn't really have any kind of denouement (it ends during the final battle; it was supposed to be the first in a series) - but both Nakadai and Mifune slaughter immense amounts of people, and Nakadai's acting's kind of enjoyable. I'd say watch it, but with other people present, so as to laugh en group at the film's general ludicrousness and - well - rah at the immensely competent fight scenes. (The Samurai film chain, as opposed to the Kurosawa film chain.)

I dunno, I mean, I'm pretty sure Ran is the greatest film ever made, but Sword of Doom ends with Tatsuya Nakadai going barmy and successively slashing - and slaying, I assume - (around) 50 samurai. (Yeah, I broke the chain.)

Which is almost as awesome as Sword of Doom.

Billy Bragg & Wilco - All You Fascists.

Hey, thanks. (And only 2 weeks late!) El-P with (um) Trent Reznor - Flyentology.

I've been to Transylvania - it's boring. Nas - Purple; did he just refer to himself as "prettiest don"? Like really? Anyone here seen Buena Vista Social Club or Crossing the Bridge: The Sound of Istanbul?

Okay: 24 Hour Party People - I'm not really a fan of any of the featured bands (Joy Division, New Order, Happy Mondays - and I suppose all the trinkets of information which helped me straggle along I obtained by, I dunno, osmosis), so basically I lacked the needed background data to giggle at myself for being a good fan and spotting the intricacies; Coogan is hilarious and the film replete with style - (10), and Road Trip - funnier than School For Scoundrels, not as funny as Old School, I guess I'm just a sucker for briskly paced crudeness - (8).

Is Road Trip (even remotely) worth watching?

Right, and he should have at least restricted his comments to the literary world (Rah-Rah action films have had, I think, a greater influence on the average citizen's mentality), but one can't really deny its (clout and) impact on the way art has subsequently tackled the - whatyoucallit - "insanity of war"; The Good Soldier

Their Hip-Hop reviews are pretty decent and usually spot on - there, I said it. Also like, were it not for them, I wouldn't be bumping The Thermals. And I really really like The Thermals. Basically, "(" + "8" gets me the sunshine guy and I wasn't up for toying with the font system and actually bothering to learn how to use it anew... so I just commanded italics to bamboozle the board (code?.. uh programming code? Whatever). School For Scoundrels - um, John Heder is annoying, constantly so, and even the prospect of Michael Clarke Duncan rape couldn't begin to redeem his presence (conversely, Billy Bob or better yet, his screen time or better yet, his character's outcome underwhelmed me) (5), and Mary - which is a pretentious well-shot bore, and which I barely managed to gobble up (wholly); I really like Forrest Whittaker - (4).

(Joseph Heller's) Something Happened - I wish I had the time and composure to quote the actual book (there's a childhood reminiscence near the end, I really enjoy), but seeing how that's not going to happen, I'll just paste (and copy, and cut, and keep the essential part of) Vonnegut's review: And David Lodge('s) Thinks ... - which has a great scene in Messenger's laying of the shepard's wife, but is a little hampered by its structure; I'm sure all our resident wannabe atheists (+ science nerds) would love Messenger - while on a furlough (away away away) from Something Happened.

It's MonkeyChe.

Before Sunrise|Sunset - Maturation helps (as does a truly terrific ending), and Delpy's character still sort of a **** (like, she spends a couple of years in NYC and still persists in saying medias instead of media); the dialog feels natural (as does the film's tone - artless), and the ride home is a little staggering (great chemistry - the look on Delpy's face and her bearing as Hawke prattles his shtick... perfect) (9-10), Croupier (8), Flash Gordon - So like, after Von Sydow bites it, how come everyone's free and crunking **** up except the black people? I mean, I know it's from the 30s (the comic), but like, wasn't the only black avian person the guy from Black Adder's slave baby? The score is hilarious. - (7), and Old School - I laughed so hard I almost had the fat guy's impending coronary (Oh, God, I've just experienced Lenodom) - (10). (Oh yeah, the scores are arbitrary representations of the visceral enjoyment I obtained from watching, well, whatever it is I watched, and not really any kind of the statement on the film's overall quality, or something.)

Leonard Cohen - Democracy; wait, make that: Nas - Doo Rags.

Network - Max Schumacher: You need me. You need me badly. Because I'm your last contact with human reality. I love you. And that painful, decaying love is the only thing between you and the shrieking nothingness you live the rest of the day. Diana Christensen: [hesitatingly] Then, don't leave me. Max Schumacher: It's too late, Diana. There's nothing left in you that I can live with. You're one of Howard's humanoids. If I stay with you, I'll be destroyed. Like Howard Beale was destroyed. Like Laureen Hobbs was destroyed. Like everything you and the institution of television touch is destroyed. You're television incarnate, Diana: Indifferent to suffering; insensitive to joy. All of life is reduced to the common rubble of banality. War, murder, death are all the same to you as bottles of beer. And the daily business of life is a corrupt comedy. You even shatter the sensations of time and space into split seconds and instant replays. You're madness, Diana. Virulent madness. And everything you touch dies with you. But not me. Not as long as I can feel pleasure, and pain... and love. [Kisses her] Max Schumacher: And it's a happy ending: Wayward husband comes to his senses, returns to his wife, with whom he has established a long and sustaining love. Heartless young woman left alone in her arctic desolation. Music up with a swell; final commercial. And here are a few scenes from next week's show. [Picks up his suitcases and leaves] - (10), Life - I dunno, man, it's kinda endearing, and the best thing Murphy did in the 90s, alongside Bowfinger, but, like, quite a few of the jokes were predictable, and not really all that funny (6), My Name Is Earl (season 2) (6), Shopgirl - Martin rarely disappoints as a screenwriter, and the film's way smarter than I expected (7), and King Of New York - the mood's fallout may be transient, but it sure is unsettling, as the direction swells to perfection, and Walken pulls a slightly demure winner; welcome to the circle, bang, bang - (10).

The Americanization Of Emily - "You American haters bore me to tears, Ms. Barham. I've dealt with Europeans all my life. I know all about us parvenus from the States who come over here and race around your old Cathedral towns with our cameras and Coca-cola bottles... Brawl in your pubs, paw at your women, and act like we own the world. We over-tip, we talk too loud, we think we can buy anything with a Hershey bar. I've had Germans and Italians tell me how politically ingenuous we are, and perhaps so. But we haven't managed a Hitler or a Mussolini yet. I've had Frenchmen call me a savage because I only took half an hour for lunch. Hell, Ms. Barh? - (9). am, the only reason the French take two hours for lunch is because the service in their restaurants is lousy. The most tedious lot are you British. We crass Americans didn't introduce war into your little island. This war, Ms. Barham to which we Americans are so insensitive, is the result of 2,000 years of European greed, barbarism, superstition, and stupidity. Don't blame it on our Coca-cola bottles. Europe was a growing brothel long before we came to town." - (10), Mrs. Henderson Presents (, Murder By Death - neat ensemble cast, though I never quite laughed - (5), and Dirty Pretty Things - couldn't they filch a real Turk? From one of those Fatih Akin flicks, perhaps? It's inconsequential, of course, and only for appearance's sake (Tautou was better than I had expected)... but you got a Nigerian playing a Nigerian, a Spaniard playing a Spaniard... oh shush - (10).

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (, Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny (5), Inside Man (, and Smoke - I like how Perrineau was something like 2 years younger than Whitaker, and Giancarlo Esposito needed a bigger part (which he kinda got in Blue in the Face, but whatever) - (9).

You know, Wise Intelligent was never that insightful, evocative or - well - lyrically talented, and his politics were perhaps the most simple-minded of all those jazz-rap clicks, but his [their] descent into Reggae-fused incomprehensibility sure was entertaining. "Who Are You To Question My Righteousness?"

Also: Takeshis' (5), Finding Forrester - I saw this Friday at the US Consulate, Black History Month and all; they should've gone with Do The Right Thing, Malcom X, or, I dunno, Surf Nazis Must Die: The Director's Cut - (6), Rocky Balboa - his demeanor around the barmaid is really endearing - (, Eureka (7), Children of Men - again - (9, maybe 10).

Clipse - Chinese New Year; don't quote me on this, but I think it's about making cream.

OZ - though granted it's been a few years since I watched it - and that scene in Le Locataire where Polanski starts seeing ****.

Swingers (9), Le Cercle Rouge (7), Dead Man's Shoes (6), Im Juli (9), Gegen die Wand (10), The Fog of War - Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara (10), Indagine su un Cittadino al di Sopra di ogni Sospetto (9), My Name is Earl (7), and Day Break (.

Aceyalone and RJD2 - Solomon Jones; somehow reminds me of Stagger Lee; "It's the painful cry of a man's despair deep down in his bones/ I guess misery enjoys company, said big bad Solomon Jones".

Brother Ali - Freedom Ain't Free; "I killed little Jason; he was only fifteen / Sewed his good traits together, made Ali / Filled his lungs with the Koran until he breathed / Let him walk but kept him on a short leash."