The Equally Relevant But...

[Archmonarch]

Well, so as to not confuse myself or others, I have plans to introduce another of my writing projects here, instead of in my other thread. This one is purely fantasy, based on the principle that our perceptions warp our reality. Also, a sort of reverse good vs. evil is somewhat prevalent (youll see what I mean).

 

Ive only written a small bit so I will share what I have. If anyone wishes to have me continue, please say so.

 

The Price We Pay

 

Prologue Introduction

 

Despite its transitory nature, Time rules us all. We bow to its every whim and crumble beneath its oppressive weight. Why? Because we realize what lies at its end. Death. For everything and everyone. Frightened by this realization, we seek any method to stave off a conclusion. Once, man succeeded in conquering the finality of time, and corrupted by this power, accomplished only further devastation. From this we take a single lesson: humanity, although split into many component pieces, is an animal, large in size, yet simple in nature. Birthed through destruction and suckled on consumption, it proves unable to deny the qualities by which it was created, the inherited behaviors that govern all its activity. Only one trait separates humans from among all other beings: the freedom to choose this savage destiny, or a path of higher motivation. Such was the course Paimon chose.

[11XHooah]

Wow, this is pretty good I'm looking forward to reading more.

[metadigital]

Yep, I liked the style. (Especially the prologue, but I read a lot of philosophy. :D ) Just enough interior monologue to glimpse and give some empathy; not so much as to swamp the reader. This pays dividends later when you want to reader to guess motivations and feelings until they are revealed for plot reasons, if at all.

 

As for proper nouns, I'd pick a theme (Norse, Classical, whatever) and stick to it; that way you will not jar too many readers' sensibilities. (Of course a hybrid of all would be more than adequate, but the difficulty lies in maintaining the "randomness".)

 

Failing that, agglomerations of dwellings normally derive from their purpose or geographical surroundings, like: Moonglow, Lone Pine, Crater Lake, New Town, Black Town, etc.

 

I would recommend keeping the posts short, though, one of the reasons I haven't waded through to the end of your other thread is I am daunted by the sheer volume of words to read for each chapter! (mainly because this is not an ideal medium for speed reading.)

[Archmonarch]

I thank you all for contributing.

 

As for the characters, their names all have a special meaning, relevant to their personality or role. Ex: Ferris means Iron Worker.

 

I shall give that advice credence. Expect more to be posted tomorrow.

 

I understand your reluctance to read my other thread. Im not sure I would read the whole thing had the roles been reversed. I only ask that you try and in the future I will attempt to divide the chapters into several small posts.

[metadigital]

I thank you all for contributing.

 

As for the characters, their names all have a special meaning, relevant to their personality or role. Ex: Ferris means Iron Worker.

 

I shall give that advice credence. Expect more to be posted tomorrow.

 

I understand your reluctance to read my other thread. Im not sure I would read the whole thing had the roles been reversed. I only ask that you try and in the future I will attempt to divide the chapters into several small posts.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I intend to actually read it, I'm just summoning up the impetus to overcome my inertia.

[Archmonarch]

Take your time. Just not too much time. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean? (w00t)

[Archmonarch]

Well, sorry for the double post, but I doubt anyone else would see this otherwise.

 

I have been slightly busy today, but you may expect an update tonight at some time. Hope you enjoy it.

[Darth Launch]

Gah!... Sorry it took me so long to get around to reading this Arch :">

 

It's a good start actually, I think I'll probably prefer this to your other story... oh, well, we'll see

 

I agree with what Mr. Metadigital said about the name for your town... I'm not particularly imaginative so I'd only end up suggesting somewhere like Namek as a place name

 

Can't wait for your next chapter

 

DL

[Archmonarch]

Well, after several weeks of inactivity on this front, I have returned. And I have a challenge for you all. Though I already have a flexible basic premise for my work, I would like to ask if anyone has any concepts they believe would be interesting in a novel of this sort. There are no guarantees I will use your ideas, though I will credit you in the Acknowledgements if I do decide to include it.

 

Also, know that I plan to complete Chapter 1 by Wednesday and will post sections as I finish them.

[Archmonarch]

NOTE: This will be my final attempt to revive this thread. If you do not desire to read more of my writing, say nothing. If you, however, do have an interest, please post. I will continue writing offline regardless, but I could use the critiques. And encouragement is always nice.

 

So, again due to facets outside my direct control, I have had little time to throw at my writing projects. I have written several paragraphs of the passage I am currently working on, though. It follows directly after the opening post. Please indicate any problems you may see and what you liked.

 

 

Chapter 1 Cont.

 

A basic principle of nature exists, such that one must endure risk in order to gain. This precept may be equally applied to humanity. A great well of untapped potential lies within us all, straining to burst free and release the waters of inspiration. However, due to societal constraints, many deny these gifts, believing only a chosen few are meant for greatness. In truth, everyone holds the seeds of significance within them, if only they freed themselves from false limitations. Those who do so are recorded in time. Destiny is not born; it is forged.

 

Tempting Oblivion was one path to unlock this latent power, depending upon the aforementioned tenet. Certainly other methods existed, yet they were unknown to him. And, as his father said, we work with what we are given. The basis of this method grew from observation of the stars and the Great Darkness that held them. Apparently, some way back along his family line, someone had conceived the notion that the lights in the night sky were lures, similar to those employed to catch fish or other game. And lures possess only a single purpose: to draw out that which is desired. Thus it was decided the stars must be baiting the emptiness in which they swam. Yet for what reason? For consumption? No, the stars could no more digest the night than fish the ocean. Moreover, did stars eat at all? This ancestor pondered upon the situation and finally came upon an answer that appeared to satisfy the available evidence. One pursuit had little affect on life, though it could seem so, and yet men desired it endlessly. Surely the celestial beings were not so different. Power. The stars must be seeking strength held by their dim counterpart.

 

(Yes, I know the second paragraph is somewhat awkward. Its only the earliest version and Im working on it.)