I have to agree with the OP here.
The trick as usual is to get the balance right. Like a few people have already said, new shinies are fun so you want your gear to matter, but it shouldn't be all-important.
If you take the inspiration from the old-school PnP RPGs, all pitch the importance of gear differently, but all come within a band that I'd be happy with. Providing you avoid the MMO trap of dear dependency it should work out ok