Hmmm... long and interesting thread. I'm not going to quote anyone or any articles or whatever... some of you will know me others will not, either way I can't read 5 pages of crap and not respond.
My father was raised Catholic and is now .... hmmm what's the word for it... someone who believes in God but doesn't believe that God pays any attention to the world. That he made it and left it to see what it would do... something like that. My Mom is a Lutheran. I was Baptized Catholic and sent to a Catholic school until 2nd grade when I informed several teachers that there was no God. At that time I was removed from the Catholic School and spent the rest of my time in the Public School System.
In about 8th grade I began reading about different religions... Wicca was interesting for a while but I couldn't get past the idea of a male and female god (or magic for that matter)... I just couldn't get the point of a God having a sex. A sex is for procreation, and as far as I know... other than Jesus there aren't any little God-lets running around. I studied Islam, and Hindu and just about anything else that didn't sound or remind me of Catholicism. I always knew that there was a higher being but being cursed with an extremely high IQ I just couldn't put all the pieces together in a way that my brain would accept. If you ask me how I know there is a Higher Being I can't tell you other than everything in my heart and mind tells me there is. Much like if you told me to prove that I loved my husband, I could do a million physical things to show it... but none of them would prove what is in my heart and mind they could all just be for show (much like many religious folk).
Over the years my belief structure is slowly settling in, I do believe in the Bible... word for word? No... not until I learn to read it in it's native tongue. I don't trust man to have gotten it 100% right, but then again I don't believe that God would have allowed them to pervert it that much. Do I go to church? No... I think the biggest downfall of religion is it's followers. They have never read the teachings, they believe what Hollywood has recreated for them as gospel and they bargain shot through the Bible picking and choosing what is most convenient for them to believe for their lives. I believe in God, but I'm not sure that I believe there are any true Christians... they are a dying breed replaced by chameleons hiding in their guise. For that matter I don't believe many of any faith truly exist any more. The world is hard to cope with, and we have become addicted to our sin. Anything that would come between us and our porn, infidelity, gossip, murder, rape, theft, drug use, etc is too frightening for us to even consider believing in.
My crisis of faith ended in the matter of one week with two prayers. I never really prayed before... I mean I did before tests and I had sworn many oaths to whatever god would have been listening for a million things... but none of it meant anything. I was independent and believed I could make it through anything. I certainly didn't want any God telling me what to do... and I had no plans of reading some thousand page book to get every little rule he wanted me to try to follow. But then my life hit the ****ter at 110mph. I woke up one morning, knowing the man I had been with for 2 years was still out with his 18 year old girlfriend... I knew he was doing heroin... I hated my job, I had wrecked my car and had over 15k in medical bills and since I had just switched jobs there was no insurance to cover them... I didn't have the money to buy gas or lunch because my then boyfriend had emptied my bank account to get high. There were what seemed like a million other reasons to end my life that morning... it had been a steady downhill slope starting about 4 years before, but I had found the rocks at the bottom. The worst part was that I was alone... not a friend within 500 miles. I sat on the end of my bed and cried and finally looked up at the ceiling fan and screamed at God... I screamed every terrible thing I could think of at him and when I was done I just collapsed on the ground and said "If you were really there I wish you would give me a hug." At this point the Dog was about insane with the fact that he had to pee so I took him out and discovered that I had a flat tire as we walked passed my car. Still sobbing I called into work and began to change my tire (yes women can change tires too, it's just harder for us to get those damn lug nuts off). Suddenly a neighbor I never knew I had came and helped me. I couldn't believe it ... but he gave me a hug. Creepy coincidence I thought, but whatever. I got the tire on and got to the gas station and ran into this kid who used to work for me.. he came running up and gave me a hug. It went on like that all day... strangers and people I only barely knew giving me hugs for one reason or another. It was disturbing but I have to say... my brain kept telling me that it had to be the alignment of the moon and stars or something. But my heart told me to give it another shot.
That night (after kicking out the boyfriend and finding a new apartment.... it was a busy day) I sat down and said the longest prayer of my life... it started out with "God, please either keep men out of my life, or send me the right one" I then spend over 45 minutes listing everything I could think of that would make a man the perfect man for me. I tried to cover every detail down to "must shower daily" to "must be a good father". I thought I was very specific. by the end of the week I had met my husband. (No we didn't marry right away... that was 2 years later) but the point is that he fit EVERY SINGLE THING that I told God that I wanted... unfortunately for me, I wasn't as clear on some topics as I should have been... and I left a few things out... but they are minor.
Either way those two prayers proved to me in my logical 155IQ mind that God is there for me and he listens. I must also however be VERY CAREFUL for what I pray for.
Does this prove anything to an atheist? Not a damn thing. Do I go around preaching religion to people? Nope, not in the least. I have finally learned that religion is not a mass of people all forced to believe the same thing... its you and God and the relationship the two of you have... which will be different for everyone. My relationship with my Dad is very different than my sister's relationship with him... I think it's about the same with God. Well I've really rambled enough and I think I've completely forgotten what the point was that I was trying to make...
My basic take on religion: All of them tell you to be a better person. To treat people with love and kindness... and if we all did that, based on a religion or not.. this world would be a hell of a better place.
Cheers
