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[Monte Carlo]

Chairborne Piefinders. Not to be confused with Airborne Pathfinders

 

We are an elite unit, sent deep behind enemy lines to identify, search and consume baked goods. It matters not if the enemy favour cakes, pasties, pies, biscuits, cookies or croissants, we will find them and we will eat them. Denying the enemy tasty snacks helps us from a psyops perspective and radically re-shapes the battlespace. We are deployed sitting in specially adapted and camouflaged Lazee-Boy armchairs that optimize our cake-eating capabilities.

 

Motto: Nos venit. Nos saw. Nos perussi a pie.

 

I'm preparing for the demanding Level Alpha Pie-finder classification. This will qualify me to wrangle Krispee Kreem do-nuts and the mysterious North Korean vanilla slice. The fail rate is something like 80%, mainly during "Hell Week" when operators are force-fed very cheap pork pies smothered with chilli sauce.

 

Cheers

MC