Tigranes

Deciding that the risk is too great, Tale pops back out and fires the last charge on the wand of frost, finally expending it. It was good knowing ya. After a couple more hits, the second battle horror too goes down. Of course, in case you've forgotten, we were meant to be fighting Davaeorn. For some reason he had teleported himself to a random corner and did nothing in particular. Our objective now is to bum-rush him and get him down before he can do a lot. Sorophyx fails to backstab, and he puts up a globe of invulnerability; and of course, without Deraldin, we can't cast Dispel Magic. We'll have to hope he doesn't have stoneskin or the like... Greylord: Too much talk, Tig. Watch and Learn. Oh... right. Okay, or you could just kill him in a single turn. Greylord: I am a beast. And so ends our adventures in Cloakwood. Carrying two dead bodies up several floors, we make sure to stop by and flood the entire place, denying the Iron Throne further profits from its operations. We sort of assume the slaves made it out. And two quick raise deads later, we are finally at the entrance to Baldur's Gate. That counted as Nep's first and Deraldin's second deaths, so we're still OK for now. It would be hell to carry a Level 1 character at this stage of the game. Tale: Uh... what's with this place? The water's all green. Oner: And now you see the vile consequences of civilization and feudal economies! All the pollutants from the decadent city-dwellers have turned the very water unto a sickly green. Hierarchical government structures not only breed repression of the people, but of nature itself! Actually, it's just a graphics bug. I never got round to applying the fix. Oner: More capitalist LIES. Tale: But what about this drawbridge? It seems to be raised, but I can still cross it! Nepenthe: I wonder what they do when there's an enemy invasion. Tale: Maybe it's an elaborate trap. You know. You think you can't cross... but... YOU CAN! Sorophyx: How the hell is that a trap? Tale: I guess they didn't teach you reverse psychology where they grew up. Sorophyx: You talk a lot of smack for having 11 HP, bunny dude. We introduce ourselves politely to the Flaming Fist, the security corporation in charge of, uh, security. Oner: More example of the privatization of public services at work. Here's a full shot of the entrance to Baldur's Gate. We again meet Elminster, who talks some faffle. They could have done without him entirely in the trilogy, really. I think he helps you exactly ONCE, by... marking somewhere on your map. Anyway, the real game-changer in Baldur's Gate is all the shops. We've said up a fair bit of cash in the meantime, and now is the time to invest. Tale buys up some useful 3rd and 4th level spell scrolls, and we also invest in a bag of holding. We buy a fully charged Wand of the Heavens for Deraldin as well. Deraldin: Wait, this is what I get for getting myself killed? What, you're not satisfied? Deraldin: No, no. I'm just thinking it's a pity I can't die any more times. Time to pick up some quests. I'm not sure how to handle the gazillion quests the city has for the LP, but we'll try and keep it manageable. Our first job is given by a fidgety, excited fellow called Brevlik.

Another mage decides to detect Sorophyx, but the hobbos on this level are not much of a challenge. And so, without further ado, we reach the bottom of the Cloakwood Mines. We make sure to get a bit of rest, buff up the party, and even quaff a few strength potions. The upcoming fight will be either very easy or fatal, depending on how Davaeorn decides to act. I haven't played without SCS's Improved Davaeorn for a while, so I'm not sure how it will pan out. We found a scroll of Haste in the mines, by the way, so Tale finally has a second useful spell! Sorophyx rushes down to initiate battle. Then runs back. Davaeorn teleports away somewhere, but of more immediate threat is the two battle horrors. They do a lot of damage, and I mean a lot. We use the wand of monster summoning to complement the skeletons. We try firing some Arrows of Biting and even Piercing, but they do no damage; without +2 arrows, it looks like Greylord is going to be entirely useless. Greylord: Can't win every fight for you guys. Tale: Don't you have a melee weapon? Greylord: I have an axe. Tale: An axe of what? Greylord: A standard issue, 1d6 axe. Tale: Oh. Without Greylord, we'll have to make do with the melee fighters. Oner and Nepenthe move in to hopefully score some hits before the fodder die out, but trigger some kind of trap that nearly kills Tale. Tale: Okay, I'm going to participate in this battle from about 20m away. Nepenthe: What? But you have to help us! Cast some spells, or something! Tale: You want me to cast fireball? Deraldin: Here, me and Sorophyx will join in melee, too, just lure them back a little bit. Nepenthe: Alright. Come on, Oner- Battle Horrors, they be strong. Nepenthe: What? I was at full HP like two turns ago! Sorry. Deraldin can cast lightning twice a day now, due to his Priest of Talosship, but obviously it's risky to do it in here. With Oner and Nepenthe out of the way he can now fire one, and manages to kill the first battle horror. (Sorophyx' trap fired, too.) Deraldin: Booya. You watching, Nep? I'm so badass! Nepenthe: I'm dead! It rebounds at a nice angle to hit the second one, but he's still got a bulk of his HP remaining. Now it's gonna get ugly. Tale sneaks back into the room and casts a magic missile, and ends up summoning some monsters. Thankfully, they're friendly, and actually help us against the battle horror. Still, it's slow to fall. Deraldin: You know, me and my Flail +1 isn't doing a lot to this guy. Maybe I should stand back and... Woops. Deraldin gets hit just as he's about to finish the healing spell. I feel like I could have avoided at least one of the deaths without the pause-lag, but as it is it's hard to maneuvre various characters finely enough. Deraldin: You just hate clerics. Look, I'm sorry! Once this is over I'll buy you something nice, ok? Deraldin: Well... fine. But it better be real nice! It'll make you swoon with delight. Now shut up and let me win this thing.

7. One Dungeon, To Go, Please Right. A slightly shorter update today, as we tackle the Cloakwood Mines, and finally reach the city of Baldur's Gate. As usual, we begin with a backstab. This time, Sorophyx gets it right. Sorophyx: This one had a fat arse for easy aim. Don't discriminate against the obese, Sorophyx. The mages here are a bit more clever (with SCS,anyway), and somehow figure out that Sorophyx is skulking nearby. Sorophyx: How does he know I'm around, anyway? That's just cheating. It's probably the smell. Sorophyx: I don't smell! Clearly not. Drasus: Draw your daggers and spells and let's have at 'er! Sorophyx: You want to know what I always say? Always kill the mouthy one, that's what I always say. Drasus: HAW! A good saying! I will use your head for a puppet and make it say it over and over while we drink large amounts of mead! Life is pretty good, you know? I can never figure out if Baldur's Gate has good, quaint writing that suits the setting, or just writing so bad that it's good. I imagine not having voice acting makes it several times better. The ensuing battle is a bit of a disappointment. As Sorophyx hotfoots it back, a well placed web spell is enough to take out most of their party (and our skeletons), and Greylord is able to shoot down the casters before they can do anything. In fact, the pattern generally continues in the mines themselves. With spells like horror, web, entangle, hold person and charm person at our arsenal, and of course with Oner and Greylord the big damage dealers, we have little problem with the Black Talons. That is, as long as Tale stays right at the back. I had to reload a couple of times because I'd enter a new area and someone would immediately shoot Tale in the face, killing her instantly. SCS's Better Calls for Help means that pretty much all the bandits in the level eventually converge on our location. We're doing well, but we can't afford to rush out into the room proper - there are about half a dozen more bandits at least in the other corridor who would get a free shot. Nepenthe: You know, this is pretty cool. Deraldin: What? Nepenthe: Standing shoulder to shoulder, weapons at the ready, as waves and waves of the evil bandits come at us! It's... so heroic! We're like brothers in arms! Deraldin: Dude, I took you on this gig so we can score some chicks. Don't come out of the closet on me now. Nepenthe: Come on! Here, say it with me... http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc177/p...tsol/Sparta.gif I don't think that movie helps your case, Nep. Even Hareishan joins the party, and she's usually on the other side of the level. For a long time I couldn't figure it out as she stayed invisible somewhere in the room, but a fireball helped pinpoint her location. Tale: I'm versatile! Remove the loot icons, and it's like a massive orgy. Or someone was giving out free fried chicken and people just couldn't wait. The next level generally goes well. Some bandits ambush us just as we enter the level, but Tale nips in behind the other party members and uses a wand of fireball. Oner: Don't you cast any other spells? I thought D&D offers like four hundred spells, or something. Tale: Well, I've still got Nahal's Dweomer memorised as backup. Oner: Oh, so that's when Tig wants to end the LP. Tale: Pretty much.

Naturally. Tale: You try getting it right with a big bear mauling you from the side! I'm sure a magical hiccup really raises your chances of survival here. We take care of the druids sans fireball. In the next area, Sorophyx once again proves her thieving credentials by stepping on a web trap the very moment she starts looking for traps. A cohort of huge spiders converge on her location. Tale: Oooh! Oooh! Here, let me! Let me! Sorophyx: Uh- Tale: I did it! I did it! Look! Fireball! Look! Deraldin: Look mommy, Tale set something on fire! Quick, get her a treat and pat her on the head! Sorophyx: You got me too, you stupid bastard! Tale: You're fine, you even made the save. Sorophyx: Yeah, but half the spiders are still alive and they're on me now! Tale: Sorry. I only had the one fireball. Sorophyx survives, of course, because the Obsidianites are like, Level 5, and we're on the top of the world. In the same area we find Centeol the Putrid. Oner's really dying to know how she got so fat, but alas, the world will never know her secret. More fireballs, baby. Centeol is even uglier in death. The greatest danger of the Cloakwood is not, in fact, any of these set pieces, but the random encounters inbetween area transitions. This mix, of spiders and wyverns, is particularly dangerous. Both types of enemies can poison you, and the wyverns can impede movement once they get close; worst of all, the area is littered with web traps, which can mean game over. Sorophyx: RUN! Again. Luckily, no traps this time. Or perhaps they're an SCS feature, too? If so, damn. Those guys are sadistic. The final area of the Cloakwood mines features wyverns providing Bovine Flight Services. I bet Skyrim never had dragons that fly cows. Sorophyx: Yeah, but that place is awesome for stealing. You can pick any lock even at Level 1! Also, if you put a bucket on people's heads they'll let you clean out the entire place. Oner: How do they retain any semblage of order? It seems like the perfect conditions for anarchy. Sorophyx: Oh, well, shopkeepers never have any money, so after a while nobody can buy the stuff you keep stealing. So the incentive to steal runs out pretty quickly. Oner: Intriguing. Anyway. We fight some wyverns, but they go down pretty quick and aren't worth mentioning. Our Level 5 party looks like it's passed the preliminary die-in-one-hit phase, and now sport an impressive range of spells, abilities and phat loot to get us past tricky situations. Next up is the Cloakwood Mines proper, and hopefully, we'll get a glimpse of Baldur's Gate, too!

Rather disappointingly, less than ten bandits converge on the area, and we are able to web and shoot down Taugosz unharmed. So we send out Sorophyx once again to see what the other bandits are doing. Naturally, he is seen. Sorophyx: I sneezed! Actually, it's not the worst outcome. As the bandits in the area all charge towards Sorophyx, he quaffs our last potion of invisibility... Then, tracking back a bit, lobs our last potion of explosions at the area. You can't see it here, but it caught most of the hobbos you saw earlier. Finally, Sorophyx lures the survivors back to an entangle spell. Greylord gets himself entangled, too, but has no problem shooting between the vines to mop up the hobbos. He's like a machine-gunner with that new bow. We've cleared the bandit camp with only a single death! As we return to Beregost, we stop by to kill some Ankhegs. Greylord is already wearing a suit of Ankheg armour, but another one couldn't hurt. They fall pretty easy at this point and give decent XP. The area also sports a short quest, where Farmer Brun says his son is missing. Oner: Uh, there's a massive big hole in the ground like thirty metres to the left of your farm, man. Did you never think there might be a connection betwen that and your missing son? Brun: No, of course not. Why would my son want to enter a big hole in the ground? Oner: Well, your wife has been dead for some time, right? Brun: Uh, yes. Why's that relevant? Oner: Well, you see, the earth is traditionally related to the matriarch in premodern religions and myths, including ours. Your son may have been suffering from longing for a mother figure, or, psychologically speaking, a desire to re-enter and re-claim the mother and female in response to this lack. A gaping hole in the earth is therefore an indexical sign of a- Dude! Family friendly forum. Oner: -primordial womb. Why? What did you think I was going to say? ...I hope you realise you're all going to have to go down there in a moment. Oner: If only I wasn't so damn smart. Inside the womb, uh, hole, there are a lot of ankhegs, but we get by ok-ish, and eventually find a good stash of loot, including another wand of fire and Brun's son. Oner: Told you. We take the ankheg shell back to Taerom Fuiruim (I wonder if anyone at Bio realised his surname is impossible to pronounce), but he says it'll take a tenday to finish the suit. We decide to come back for it later; now, it's time for the Cloakwood Mines! The Cloakwood Mines are located very deep inside the Cloakwood Forest - four areas deep, to be precise. In the first, we meet a rather British fop beset by some tree-huggers. We decide to help the former, mainly so that we can show off our newest and greatest spell, fireball. Tale: Oh boy! Oh boy! Here we go!

We open by casting Charm Person on the gnoll, which actually works! The mage looks dangerous, but we're hoping to make use of Deraldin's Dispel Magic, or at least Silence. Unfortunately, immediately afterwards Greylord ends up shooting Britik in the face, making him hostile once again. Deraldin moves up to cast something but the mage manages to put Nepenthe, Sorophyx and Tale to sleep. We take out the other guys, but the mage also paralyses Oner. Poisoned by the hobbo's arrows, Deraldin still manages to get off a silence spell... ...but the mage casts vocalize, and even as Greylord's arrows remove his mirror images, takes out Deraldin with an acid arrow and magic missile. Deraldin: I can't die yet! I haven't managed to Hold Person any chicks yet! Or Animate Dead, for that matter. I kid, I kid. In the end, that ends up as the only casualty, and we have secured the tent. We also find the Long Bow of Marksmanship - from memory, the best long bow in the game. Greylord now formally ascends to one-man Munchkin status. Greylord: Boom Chikka Wow-Wow. Tale is also finally Level 5, and gets access to fireballs. In addition to the Wand, we are now gonna kick some ass! BG's chapter screens and cinematics use rather blocky 3D models, but I think they look good - they have a charm of their own. I'd have liked to play a 3D game with that kind of graphics. Deraldin: I would, too. Imagine Female Commoner #2 in three-dee. Yee-haw! Quiet, you're still dead. I was al ittle worried exiting the tent, but it turns out nobody outside heard all the fighting, burning, crying and dying inside. One can only assume Tazok had invested in some great noise cancelling systems. Deraldin: I hope you took a good look, Nepenthe. It's a must-have for any aspiring heartbreaker. Nepenthe: I don't want to break hearts! I want to love! To live and die for my sweetheart, to truly become one with her! Deraldin: Which is why you kissed that sirine, am I right? Nepenthe: I-silence! She was an evil harlot, that's what she was. She must have bewitched me - Deraldin: Yes, yes. Save all that for your mother, Nep. Alright, boys. In any case, we're able to leave, revive Deraldin, and come back prepared for the Bandit Camp. In full SCS this is easily the most difficult battle in the entire game until the final chapter; becoming hostile with any one bandit eventually brings over fifty bandits into your area, as you might expect if you were to anger a well trained bandit camp in reality. I'm not sure how things will be in our lite version, but we'd best be prepared. Our carefully prepared plan all goes to hell when Sorophyx once again misses a completely stationery target from behind. Sorophyx: He sneezed! He high-tails it back to the party, wasting a potion of healing to stay alive. Taugosz packs HP and deals a lot of damage; if he gets close to us it'll be bad.

This update begins last page, so make sure to start from there. Oh, right. Tranzig. Like all lone mages without pre-buff, he is rather easy to kill. As you can see, landing the killing blow automagically transfers his knowledge of the bandit camp onto our world map! Tale: Spiffy stuff. Indeed. I'm assuming this was so players who forgot to loot his corpse would still be able to continue the main plot. It's the kind of user-friendly design most people thought was invented with Oblivion. In fact... Perfect. Because BG does not feature such advanced systems, though, we have to search the forests of Larswood and Peldvale for the exact location of the Bandit Camp. Usually, I just kill a bunch of bandits, collect their scalps for cash, then sneak up on the camp. I've never seen this guy before, though. Teven: Kill 'em, boys! Sorophyx: Wait! We, uh- um, we want to join you guys! Yeah, that's right. Be bandits! Pew pew! Greylord: Remember Kids, Charisma Score Important Too. Teven: Ha! We've plenty o'mules now! What for we be needin' you? Sorophyx: Grammar lessons? Tale: Dude! Sorophyx: Okay, okay. I mean, uh, you guys are... too good at your job! Yeah, that's right. You guys are so good it makes me all tingly inside. Tale: Dude! Teven: Save your sweet talk for the boss. I'll take ya to meet him but if he says ya die, then ya die. Sorophyx: Alright! Wait, what? Dude, this is not alright! Sorophyx: What? It's fine. Now we don't have to waste time looking for the camp! But that's Tazok! We're meant to fight this guy in Chapter 7! He could probably kill us all! Sorophyx: Really? Well, if we fight him, you're going in melee. Sorophyx: You ****- Oh, and what do you know, he does want to fight us. I wonder who put us in this predicament? Sorophyx: Dude! I'm sorry! Come on, I can't die now! I have to rob all the nobles over in Baldur's Gate! Alright, alright. Let's take this seriously. A wand of monster summoning should buy us some time to shoot his health down... ...or not. Did he just kill four hobbos in two turns? Sorophyx: More summons! Luckily, just as we summon some skeletons and prepare to run for our lives, Tazok decides it was all a test. We end up being hired as the newest bandits - I've actually forgotten this was ever an option (is it, in vanilla BG?), and the party hadn't even rested from the Tranzig fight. Got a bit lucky there. Tazok then leaves for 'the mines', and it's the lesser beings that get to wave their phalluses at us and assert their superiority. Figuratively, that is. If this was Dragon Age we'd probably have got a cinematic. Unsure as to what we are meant to do now, the Obsidianites decide to check out the big tent for any clues about where Tazok's gone. Unfortunately, the people inside aren't quite as stupid, and decide to fight us.

6. On Fireball The party returns to Ulcaster, the scene of the Ferocious Army of Two Hobgoblin Elites that nearly took out half the party. But we are now bigger, stronger, and most importantly, decked out with phat loot. We are assigned a typical sidequest by the ghost of Ulcaster, though Tale suspects he's just another wild mage who had a Blur spell go horribly wrong. Nearby is the serial killer-skeleton Icharyd, whose backstory I've never been able to divine. In SCS he is a monster - he's immune to normal weapons and has high magic resistance, and when you get his HP down a flash of lightning turns day into night, and Icharyd draws on the power of JRPGs to lay the smackdown. Here, he's just a high-damage skellie. Next is the Ulcasters ruins themselves. They are pretty mazy, and full of goodies but also wolves, spiders and traps. Sorophyx scouts out the place first, though it's slow going because his Move Silently is in the pits and he keeps popping back into view. Sorophyx: I still don't understand why Tale can't just cast invisibility. Because with her odds, it'll probably turn you into a giant floating pig. Sorophyx: That wouldn't be so bad. Being the Master Thief he/she/I forget what is, Sorophyx triggers a trap in front of four wolves. Sorophyx: Screw this, I'm not going out alone! Sorophyx runs towards the wolves, and the ensuing fireball damages two of them as well. And Sorophyx somehow remains hidden in shadows. Not bad going. Sorophyx: I call it Indirect Kamikaze. The scouting done, we reconvene the party at a nearby room, then hand Sorophyx our one oil of fiery burning. You see, out of view of the four wolves is a vampiric wolf, the ones we had to run like hell from near the Temple back in the day. They still pack a punch, so we aren't taking any chances. Enoch: You know, if you were as careful back then, I probably wouldn't be dead. Don't judge me. The surviving wolves charge, but Deraldin casts Animate Dead just in time. Tale, hiding in a dark corner, fires the wand of frost to make sure the Vampiric Wolf dies before it regenerates HP. We only have one or two charges on it left now, though. Which is why, of course, we came here to pick up the Wand of Fire. The party's Fireballness has just increased exponentially. Tale: I'll finally contribute! Indeed. You're lucky you're the protagonist, or I might have dropped you off a cliff a few times. Three times, to be exact. Tale: Aww, you're just saying that. And now, we are finally ready to advance the plot and tackle some meaty enemies. We pay a visit to Tranzig, the bandits' contact in Beregost, to discover the location of their camp. Although there is no true 'investigation' of any sort in the main quest, except in the parchments you pick up, I like how the plot progresses - it really makes a lot of sense that you first investigate a mine in trouble, you deduce that there is a connection with the bandits, and so on.

Will update within a few hours. I'm hoping to get a bulk of BG1 done before I start school next Wednesday, after which it'll be difficult to keep this pace up. Bandit Camp will be taken on this update.

Tale had 13 CON, now 14. I think we are using vanilla BG1 HP rolls, although non-party NPCs may be getting max rolls. Gold/XP is no longer a big deal as we are level 4/5, gnolls don't give that much. I might go down a bit later and pick up the gauntlets, maybe go at high level and have Tale solo the place.

The quandary being that your formulation, Orogun, does not necessarily prove or disprove the autonomous existence of a God. (But then, what happens when we sufficiently diverge from whatever that God may be, and the emergent God we have come to define socially? If that hasn't already occured, that is?)

Deraldin: Oh, dude! That is NOT cool! Not cool indeed. In previous playthroughs, I've lost count of the number of times I simply clicked on Shoal, which makes the protagonist initiate conversation, and leads to an automatic game-over. For our purposes, we won't count this in Nepenthe's 3 strikes, since once you beat Shoal down a bit, she resurrects him for free, anyway. Shoal explains she is held captive by an Ogre Mage,though she seems pretty suspicious on her own anyway, as if she kind of enjoys the killing. I like this quest - nothing comes of it, but there is a curious ambiguity there (especially as the Ogre mage appears smitten on Shoal). Once again, run-and-beat works pretty well on these guys, without the advantage of pre-buffing. And now it's time for Sirine-hunting proper. Sirines can cast improved invisibility, then dire charm your party members from the safety of invisibility, and also fire arrows of biting. All in all, a quick party wipe is in order if we're not careful. Luckily, Nepenthe is a Cavalier, and by virtue of his kit, is immune to charm! Now it's time for him to shine. As Nepenthe approaches, they turn invisible; Tale quickly nips in to cast See Invisibility, then runs back out again. Although, it wouldn't really hurt to have her dire charmed, since it's not like she can do any substantial damage. Tale: Hey, you never know, I could Wild Surge a meteor swarm. Some hobbos join in the fun too, but with Greylord helping from a safe distance, the Sirines are dead. Deraldin is levelling up like crazy, and has caught up entirely; we finally have access to some useful spells, like Dispel Magic, Dispel Paralysis, and Animate Dead. We check out the nearby cave before departing, one which is full of thankfully isolated flesh golems. Sorophyx does well with backstabs. There's one hairy moment when he manages to miss a completely stationery target three times as large as him, but in general, we persevere. Sorophyx: Hey, it's not criminal to roll a 1 sometimes. It's dangerous, but our rewards are great. From top left: a tome that increases Constitution by 1, a Cloak that lets you turn into a wolf, a wand of paralysis, and some other goodies. We decide to give the tome to Tale, since at Level 4 he still only has 11 HP; the cloak goes to Sorophyx, though we don't expect to use it much. Right, that was a lot to get through. Next time, perhaps we can finally get to the Bandit Camp, though going their prematurely will mean the end of our adventure. Before I go, I'll field one question from the audience: Why does Deraldin use flails, and Nepenthe war hammers? Nepenthe: I used to use swords because someone told me that a big sword impresses girls, though I'm not exactly sure why. Then someone told me a big warhammer makes people think you have a big brain. Deraldin: What kind of question is that? Flails are great! Not only do you crush your enemies into soup, the spikes on these things cause excruciating pain! Greylord: Flails Deal Crushing Damage Only. Deraldin: You stuck-up bow fairy. There's more to life than damage type, you know.

Greylord quickly takes care of said mage. The slimes he summoned are immune to normal weapons, but Sorophyx still has Greywolf's +2 sword, and Nepenthe helps with the +2 war hammer, and we get there. And now, in the mage's morose cave-dwelling, THE WAND OF MONSTER SUMMONING! Oner: Wait, that's it? What's so great about that? Silly Oner. Shops recharge wands upon sale, then when we buy them back, it will have 50 or even 100 charges! Roughly 4 to 10 low level monsters spawn with every use, but as BG places no limit on summoned creatures, we could drown any enemy under the weight of a hundred hobbos. Oner: I thought we weren't going to cheese, though. Well... yes, I said that, didn't I. I guess you guys really will die pretty soon, then. Oner: Real soon. Moving on, we encounter some guy that's pretending to be Indiana Jones... And someone who's paying more to have him murdered. Sorophyx: You're on, shadowy dude! Tale: We're not killing the poor old man! We're the good guys! Sorophyx: How is it 'good' to support low-paying jobs in favour of high-paying ones? You're oppressing our rights as free labourers, man! Oner: He's right, actually. Your loyalty to the fop Charleston Nib sustains an economic model wherein capitalists might extort labour from the proletariat and retain profit for themselves. By betraying him, we can contribute to the demise of this unjust system. Tale: We're not killing him! We enter the excavated ruins, and the diggers start going crazy in bloodlust. Deraldin: I would, too, with that haircut. Did they all get it done at the same place or something? Sorophyx: Probably wigs, all of them. Tale: Come on, guys, we'll have to put them down. Make sure you protect Charleston from their spears! Sorophyx: Oops. Tale: I said no killing the old guy! Sorophyx: I was aiming for the digger! Their razor sharp spears might have cut through him at any moment! Oh, tis a pity that my bolt, intended to save him, has instead rent him in twain! Oh, cruel fate! Tale: The diggers were already dead, Sorophyx. Sorophyx: Really? Tale: And they were all over here. Sorophyx: Well, let's not get bogged down by details. Now that he's dead, we can take the idol and sell it off! Note: if you don't give it up to Gallor, e.g. by letting Charleston live but taking the idol, a spirit comes looking for it and you have to fight him. We probably could have taken him on, but this way, I think the spirit goes looking for Gallor instead. We round up the day by saving Brage, who was driven insane by his Cursed Sword of Berserking +3 and ended up killing his own family. We do this by solving his riddle correctly - can you guess what it is? I remember I found BG1/2's riddles quite difficult when I first played, and I was like 11. Before we head out again, we invest all of the gold earnt so far - ~10,000 - on Shadow Armour for Sorophyx, mainly because he keeps taking 10 turns to hide in shadows and I'm getting tired of waiting for him. Besides, with his long sword proficiency, the normally excellent Dagger of Venom won't be as much use. To round up today's session, we travel towards the coast to hit up some sirines, and fill out our XP. We first come across the proclivitous Shoal. Shoal: Perhaps a kiss, to show my appreciation? *flutter* Nepenthe: Ki...kiss? Deraldin: I told you, adventurers get all the chicks. You have some personal time over there while I get my Hold Person ready. Nepenthe: I... I... buh... buh.. Shoal: *kiss*

Emerging from the secret entrance, we discover that an unscrupulous halfling had been maintaining the maze for whatever purpose. This guy is actually pretty dangerous sometimes; due to the crowded room, usually one character ends up entering the area directly next to the halfling. If it was Tale, there would be risk of a quick one-shot death; as it is, Greylord does just fine. We receive a small reward from the halfling village of Gullykin. Sadly, there's not really anything to do here, but I always thought it looked nice. As we make our way out, though, we meet yet another assassin - this time, a group of 4 (the others are in the fog). Look! He's already casting a spell while talking to us, the little cheater. How dare they act like player characters? We show them what's what by opening with our new Golden Combo of Web & Silence, which hits 3 of them. Somehow, the webbed priest (purple, to the right of our melee fighters - kind of hard to see) manages to get off some kind of scroll, which puts all but Deraldin and Nepenthe to sleep. The odds are pretty even again. So we turn the tables again with a successful Hold Person... And another one, disabling their entire party for a time. Deraldin: You know, this isn't why I memorised- Versatility is the key to success in life, Deraldin. Finally, our party members are back up, and Tale again hits the right wild surge to paralyse another of the assassins. Tale: I'm on fire! You probably will be, at some point. Literally. Right. With all that done, it's time for us to take care of a few other quests. First of all, we are going to acquire perhaps the most powerful item in the world of Baldur's Gate, with which we can win almost every battle! Oner: Seriously? Just like that? Yep. Just one crazy mage between us and immortal glory.

The Firewine Bridge's underbelly is a large maze full of kobolds - and this time, yes, most of them are kobold commandos with high-damage fire arrows. Our plan is to let Sorophyx quietly scout out the place, and hopefully backstab lone kobolds to ensure they don't all come running- Sorophyx: Uh, boss? -or, you know, you can introduce yourself to the cabal. All good. In such tight confines, it's counterproductive to have all the melee fighters lumbering around, getting themselves shot, With some help from sorophyx, Greylord shoots down over a dozen kobolds as they come. Greylord: Wee. After that, the maze mostly turns out to be empty, and as we near its end, Sorophyx once again goes out scouting. He spots an unbuffed mage, kobold commandos and ogrillions, but decides to go back first so we can buff the party. But as Sorophyx exits hide in shadows... Sorophyx: You're kidding me. Tale: The mage is coming! Here! Right now! Sorophyx: I can't hide in shadows again, I'm not going to be able to backstab him! Tale: Wait, how about- I've never seen Set Snare even work with below 50 skill. Sorophyx: Purkake's Insta-Trap . Good to go in just half a turn! Exactly half a second later, Lendarn dimension doors to our location, and gets a couple of arrows in the face. Encouraged by the unexpected success, we proceed by backstabbing an Ogrillion into chunks; hopefully they will all then start coming towards us along the narrow corridor, giving plenty of time for Greylord to shoot them down. Oner: Hey, what about us? Meatshields, obviously. Oh, right. Ogre Mage. I forgot there was one here - he stands invisible even before combat starts. The Ogrillions are predictably easy to dispose of, but then the Ogre Mage teleports in behind us. Tale: GET OUT OF MY WAY! Yeah, it could probably kill you with a magic missile. Surprisingly, it appeared to have cast haste, mirror image and a globe of invulnerability, but neither protection from normal arrows or stoneskin. The good old strategy of beating the **** out of him leaves us relatively unscathed.

I thought I'd take a moment to give a bit more detail about the party and how I'm running them, tactics-wise. I'm trying to hit a good balance between in-character and battle optimization; if I was trying to minmax, the stats distribution, proficiencies, equipment distribution, etc. would be very different. E.g. Greylord has the Ankheg Armour because when we found it, Oner didn't want it (class restriction) - besides, he is by far the most efficient character at the moment, so we don't want him keeling over. I'm trying to 'cheese' as little as possible, though everyone has different standards on that... Anyway, at the moment weapon proficiencies are set up so we have as wide a variety of weapons as possible. Progress-wise I am currently doing most of what I consider the interesting stuff, and skipping a few minor two-minute quests and filler battles in terms of what I cover in the LP. Obviously I won't be visiting the Gnoll Stronghold, for instance - but if you want me to go somewhere in particular I can, just let me know. 5. Go On, Bleed Some XP For Me As some of you realised, we're about to go Basilisk hunting. We really need some third or at least second level spells, and extra HP, to stand up to the challenges awaiting us, and these guys pack the most HP possible. The thing is, Mirrored Eyes potions only last about 10 turns or so, and we only have 3. So, as the fastest damage dealer, we'll be sending Greylord in alone. Greylord: My THAC0 Is Sufficient. You're being a good sport about this. You should know that if a potion runs out during combat, I'm going to have to pause and have you quaff another one... but as I said, with a MP setup the pause command lags a bit. Greylord: Command Lag is Inevitable Part of Life. You've got guts, I'll give you that. Greylord proves superb at gunning down basilisks with the extra attacks his Grand Mastery enables. Greylord: I am Bad-Ass. Even three basilisks, including a Greater (the red), are no trouble, though he has to drink a second potion inbetween. Unfortunately, one of the mods must have rebalanced the XP rewards a bit; we only get 1541XP from lesser basilisks, and around 2200 for greater ones. That means we still have a way to go. Still, Deraldin and Nepenthe have caught up quite well, and we now have... Second Level Priest Spells! Nepenthe: I'm surprised you didn't have those already. Deraldin: Hey, with a charisma score like mine, I don't need to wave my arms to impress the ladies. I've got all the magical you need down here. Nepenthe: Does that... does it really work like that? I mean, should I start talking like you? It's kind of... Deraldin: No, no. That would be kind of gross. You gotta find your own style, Nep! Your own way of making them bosoms heave with wonder and delight. Sorophyx: I think you're underestimating the power of your spells there, Deraldin. Deraldin: Whassat? Sorophyx: Here, I'll show you. First, you memorise Silence 15" Radius... then, Hold Person. In fact, make that two Hold Persons. You never know. Deraldin: Ah. Sorophyx: You're a sharp human, you can figure out the rest on your own, yeah? Deraldin: Oh, yes. Indeed I can. Since we have one potion left, we rest up and head a little north. A crazy mage has been training basilisks to make sculptures of random adventurers. Sorophyx: Kind of pointless, if you don't sell them. He needs a distribution network. We had the foresight to send Sorophyx ahead, so he now drops back quickly, and we fire a web and Silence spell into the distance. If Mutamin is silenced, we can let the rest of the party stay out of combat, and let the potioned Greylord gun down the basilisks. Unfortunately, Mutamin casts Vocalise, and we're not quick enough to disrupt his spellcasting. Hopefully he doesn't kill or disable Greylord, or we're screwed. We follow up with an Entangle for good measure, but Mutamin has mirror imaged himself and also casts slow, which effects Deraldin and Greylord. As Greylord shoots the basilisks, Mutamin draws ever closer to our party. Tale: I think this calls for the ARCANE SPELLCASTER! Oner: You know, I'm all for anarchy, but if you cast berries in your pocket again I'm going to kill you. Tale: No, no, I can do this! I can- Wait, you really did it! Tale: And now you see the power of the WILD MAGE! It killed Mutamin in one hit, by the way. With a fair amount of XP stocked up, we head South to the nearby Firewine Bridge. We won't disturb the Ogre Mage in a jar nearby, but knock up the lone fighter and pick up a nice Gauntlet of Weapon Expertise. (+1 THAC0, +2 Damage)

DS3, with point&click, party and a matching UI is essentially an IE game anyway, engine-wise. Any squad combat RPG using Onyx would be pretty great.

In 2011, I thought The Witcher 2 and Skyrim were very good games, despite flaws. I also enjoyed Bastion, Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Dungeon Siege III and Dungeons of Dredmor, though they weren't 'great' by any standard. Shogun 2 I thought was unimpressive, as was Sengoku. Won't bother with an all time list, hard to produce a good list with all that ground to cover.

Bassilius is so crazy, he talks to you even as you burn him with fireballs. But after that, it's game on. Bassilius immediately casts a hold person we have little chance of disrupting, and Sorophyx' job is to flee as far as possible so it doesn't effect anyone else, and he's not in range of enemies. Not quite, but he manages to run a decent amount. So the next step is for the party to come in - Tale casts web (and succeeds), while Deraldin contributes with an entangle soon after. Greylord then has free reign to shoot arrows in Bassilius' face, disrupting his spells. Remember Greylord's favoured enemy type is? Yep. The skeleton. Deraldin and Nepenthe go round the back of the bushes to heal Sorophyx, and soon the battle is over. Our biggest reward is the War Hammer +2, which also does electrical damage. Our resident hammerman is now Nepenthe, so we expect great things of him - him and Deraldin have now reached Level 2, as well, while others are moving up to Level 3 (Tale, for instance). Tale: *sob* Enoch would have loved that hammer. Indeed. So now, we have a few levels under our belt, though not enough; we're still in the early stage when a single ambush or spell can jeopardise the fate of the entire party. (We had to run from some inter-map encounters already.) We need a quick way to earn some XP and buff us up for challenges like the Firewine Bridge and even Ulcaster. Now, remember that we bought some potions of Mirrored Eyes... That's right, baby.

We also cleaned up some ogres on the way, and get a medium shield +1 for our troubles. We're starting to get some magical loot coming our way. After that, it's back out into the wilderness. It's been a while so I've forgotten where a lot of encounters are, and Sorophyx has hideous Hide in Shadows so he's pretty useless as a scout, so we keep running into people. Sorophyx: I still don't see why we can't just have me rob every house in Beregost. Because you failed at it, remember. Twice. Bows are dangerous in BG1, both in our hands and the enemies'. Tale is immediately hit for 7 damage, and that Save vs. Death roll indicates to me the arrow might even have been poisoned. Luckily, we avoid it, and we use a precious potion of invisibility (from Nimbul's corpse) and stay out of the rest of the battle. See? I'm not so useless after all! Throughout BG1, Greylord is likely to be our best killer in terms of quantity. He now has Grand Mastery in Longbow (see description in screenshot), and shoots like Legolas on steroids. Greylord: I'm not munchkin, just badass. Yes you are, little buddy. This is the first time I've actually saved that bloody cow. Tale casts a useful spell for perhaps the first time this campaign. Tale: Hey, remember the time I summoned berries? Those were nice. Yes, but you also managed to cast Hold Person on a piece of grass. In any case, we gradually explore out the areas between Beregost and Nashkel. Sorophyx' purkstabs and Greylord's superfast shooting usually takes out many monsters, and we're starting to get a little more confident. I don't remember this guy, but pretty funny. Right. This is what we've been building towards - Bassilus, the mad cleric on whom there is a reward. Bassilius is also capable of spells like Hold Person that can make the difference between victory and party wipe, and we don't want any more deaths this session if we can help it. Sorophyx sneakily checks out the enemy distribution... ...and blesses them with a potion of explosions. Sorophyx: Wait, so I just lobbed 500 gold on a bundh of bones? What's the reward for these guys? I don't know, I think something like 300 gold and some XP. Sorophyx: You really are f***ing stupid, you know that.

Sorophyx: Wait, the dude had four kills? FOUR? Tale: He did sing his helpful songs. Sorophyx: We resurrected him twice so he could kill FOUR critters for us? Now, now. Rosbjerg was just beginning to get mage spells, you know. Why, he already had burning hands! Sorophyx: Well, that could kill Tale in one go. Still only has 8 HP. Indeed. Now, regretfully, we must move on - but we surely cannot survive with 4 members. It's time to recruit some new Obsidianites for our cause! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Human Male, Cleric; Human Male with Blue Skin, Paladin; enter stage left. Sit on leftmost table. Paladin: I don't know about this. I mean, you're clearly an evil person, and I shouldn't be consorting with your like. Cleric: Now, now. Good and evil are such artificial labels, don't you think? Paladin: Well, no, considering my Detect Evil badge cries tears of blood whenever I see you. It say's you're.... More Lawful Evil Than Herve Cain. Cleric: Hey, hey. No need to go that far. Besides, you're the one that came to me, remember? You need my help! Paladin: Well... that's true. But can you help me? Cleric: Listen, Nepenthe. Back in the day they called me the slick-grease boy-toy of the Sword Coast. You got problems getting a girl, you come to me. Paladin: That doesn't sound very flattering. Cleric: Oh, it was. Very much. Oner: Gentlemen. You look like you have character levels. Can I interest you in an adventuring job? High risk, unpredictable pay? Paladin: Oh, I'm sorry. I would, but I really have other priorities at the moment- Cleric: Wait, hang on. Nep, this is a great opportunity for you! Adventurers get all the hanky-panky! Paladin: Is that the street slang for hand-holding? Cleric: Dude. Trust me. You're gonna love hanky-panky. Oner: Listen, if you guys are in, you better say so now, because with every passing second I'm starting to regret ever talking to you freaks. Paladin: We're in! Cleric: I'll tag along, too. It's never too late for H-P. Oner: Alright. Well, let me get your names... Deraldin the Cleric was indeed the slick-grease boy-toy of the Sword Coast back in the day. He's now middle-aged and mildly alcoholic, but he's still got it. He is fairly respected as a Priest of Talos, given his penchant for suing former lovers for psychological damage and winning. Sorophyx: I wholeheartedly support his membership in our party. Nepenthe the Paladin isn't particularly bright, and he's pretty blue all over, but he has a fairly prominent bulge in his trouser pocket that makes people stand up and take notice. I forgot to take a screenie initially, so this is him at level 2. Oner: *rawr* And so armed, the Obsidianites set out once again. Our objective is first to do a little exploring, get a few quests done, and beef up our levels - we at least need third level spells if we're going to take on the bandit camp. First, we head towards the High Hedge for some shopping, but run into some bandits. They immediatley prove a challenge; after all, our newest members are still Level 1... Oh boy. Deraldin uses his innate Lightning Bolt ability, but it doesn't take out the bowman in time, and Oner suffers his second death. It's difficult because he's a barbarian and can't wear good armour, but has to take point - it should get better once Nepenthe and Deraldin can share the burden. At High Hedge we invest in some consumables to give us the edge for the next few battles. We spend half our gold on first a potion of explosions (essentially a one-time fireball), and three potions of Mirroring Eyes. You know what that means. (Or don't.) We also clean up some business in Beregost. If you remember, this is the Unfinished Business addition where we can look further into the iron crisis. But we need some samples of the poison, too, it seems - I forget if we were supposed to grab them in the Nashkel mines. We'll see. E-boy no longer seems quite so concerned with hiding his identity.

4. High Mortality Rates Are A Key Impediment To Economic Growth After intense deliberation, the Obsidianites decide that it would be a pity if Rosjberg were to expire so early. After all, he has yet to act very warrior-poet-ish. They fork out an increased price of 200 gold to get him back on his feet. Rosbjerg: Brrrr. Thanks guys. What took so long? Tale: Oh, um... there was a queue. Sorophyx: Remember, man. One more and it's over. We can't carry walking deficits like you around forever. Rosbjerg: Don't worry, I'll be careful. In fact, I'll just stand right at the back and sing! Tale: That's what you've been doing the whole time. Rosbjerg: Well, I'll stand even further back. You won't see me die again for a while, that's for sure. Tale: Alright. Now let's go to the inn to get your HP back up, then we can get going. Oh, right. Assassin #3. Rosbjerg: But I have one HP! Yeah, sorry. This is the only inn in Nashkel anyway, and I forgot. Just stay back and you should be fine. The full SCS Nimbul is virtually impossible without reloading; he immediately turns invisible with a pre-buff, then can cast horror, fireball, acid arrow, chromatic orb and more. I don't think he gets more levels or anything, but he definitely acts like a prepared assassin. In our game, he was a bit of a pushover - leaving Rosbjerg at the back we just walked up and pounded him. At critical health he began to flee, quaffing a potion of extra healing on the go. ...then he cast horror. Sorophyx: We ALL failed our saving throws? Seriously? We're like, Level 2! Tale: Yeah, but none of us have particularly high wisdom scores. (Wait, is that third edition? Will saves? So what is it here?) Note that the projectile is just about to reach Rosbjerg, so he panicked too once it hit. Did I mention smarter AI means enemies will target weaker enemies now? Not that he had a chance anyway, the chromatic orb doing 10 damage. Thankfully, horror dissipated after only 3 turns, and we were back on the offensive. Everyone's max HP is still so low, so we decided to kill him as fast as possible... ...but he let off a magic missile, literally the instant before Oner chunked him. Four magic missiles? So what, this guy's like, caster level 5? That means he probably had third level spells, too, so we're lucky he never cast any. Enoch: You call this lucky?! Sorry. I guess if you weren't so old, you could have made your reflex save- Greylord: No saves for magic missiles. OK, well, you were screwed either way. And thus pass into oblivion our very first casualties. Enoch was a Level 2 Priest of Helm, and was so happy to have finally escaped Level 1 after fifty-five years of adventuring. He was hoping to eventually gain access to third level priest spells, because he's got this giant wart someone cursed on him back in grade school he was never able to get rid of. Sorophyx: And now, he'll have the wart forever. In afterlife! Enoch was a crucial part of the team. He only accrued 8 kills over 11 days, but was busy healing party members, well, once a day with his Cure Light Wounds. Rosbjerg was a Level 2 Skald, and had he lived to see the assassin die, might even have become the party's first Level 3 adventurer.

Once we include Deraldin and Nepenthe, the only people on the shortlist are Gorth and Wals, so you may well be up there soon. Of course, they're both non-spellcasters as well... People who have died can also come back on the shortlist, either as new characters or reincarnations of their former characters. I actually liked the personalities I'd set up for Enoch and Rosbjerg, I'm sorry to see them go.

You'll see. Lite SCS is tougher than I thought - and not having many of the mods I usually use has confused me a little bit. So, um, keeping to the 3 strikes rule, I replaced Enoch and Rosbjerg with Deraldin and Nepenthe, but that means I now have a party of 2 Fighters, a Fighter-Thief, a Barbarian, a Ranger and a Mage. I don't mind the challenge per se, but it's kind of... boring, and doesn't make for good LP. Deraldin/Nepenthe, if you don't mind being a cleric or druid I could take it from there...

Um... I revived Rosbjerg, but him and Enoch died again in the very next battle.