As I've also said recently on the Bioware boards, I think it would be a mistake for LucasArts to come down definitively on either side of the issue of Revan's gender (and the Exile's as well, for that matter). We all have a certain picture of Revan in our heads, based off our own personal experiences playing the game. For me, Revan will always be a LS female, as will the Exile. For many of you, that's not the case. If the almighty Lucas were to come down and tell me that hey, guess what, Revan was really a DS male, I'd be pretty annoyed, and would probably ignore all bits of canon that claimed such nonsense. Truly, though, I think that to officially decide the genders and alignments of these characters risks alienating a lot of fans. I for one, was thrilled to learn in KOTOR1 that I was in fact a Sith Lord. Seems to me like it was about darn time a lady got to wield some major dark power. So would I be upset if LucasArts took that away from me? Yeah, I really would, and I can't imagine I'm the only one who feels that way (regardless of how you see Revan).
As far as the romance thing goes, I personally love Carth, and think that the Carth-Revan love story is wonderful and fascinating and just all-around good stuff. I am, however, a sucker for the troubled, brooding type.
Regarding this whole argument about a female Revan not making sense, I don't really have much to add. The Irish queen someone mentioned whose name they did not know was Grace O'Malley, known as the "Pirate Queen of Ireland," and one of my personal heroes. I'm not going to give you her life story here (unless you really want me too), but she was a strong leader, who commanded a fleet of pirate ships, fought alongside her men, earned the respect of Queen Elizabeth (despite the fact that she was fighting for Ireland's independence)... Madame Ch'ing, a Chinese woman, commanded the largest fleet of pirate ships in history. There is some evidence that the legendary pirate Bartholomew Roberts may have in fact been a woman. (Yes, my personal area of historical expertise is regarding pirates, particularly female ones.) I know Bodicea has already been brought up, but despite the fact that she did not ultimately win her war, she was a strong female leader nonetheless. Yes, she was wiped out when the trained military was brought in, but that's hardly suprising. They had superior training and tactics, superior weaponry no doubt; it doesn't make Bodicea's early victories mean any less. Jeanne D'Arc (known to the western world as Joan of Arc) was a truly amazing woman. Given what she accomplished in her own time, think what a leader she could have been had she lived today, less fettered by the societal (and religious) restrictions on women. There are many, many more such women in history; unfortunately, the history books leave most of them out. Women have always fought, though often they had to disguise themselves as men to do it.
Doh, I guess I lied when I said I didn't have much more to add. However, I will go ahead and leave it at that. I shouldn't have let myself get drawn into this at all, but I can't ever seem to keep my mouth shut (or my typing fingers still, in this case) about this sort of crap.
Anyhoo, that's a bit more than my two-cents worth.