New element discovered!

[Deraldin]

"GOVERNMENTIUM"

 

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which

it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to

complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and! deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This

characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical

quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

 

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium

since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[ShadowPaladin V1.0]

Bah for a second there I was exited.

[Musopticon?]

Gold.

[SteveThaiBinh]

Bah for a second there I was exited.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Even if the story had been true, I wouldn't be very excited. It's not as if these new elements are truly discovered, in that they exist somewhere in nature. They're just forced to exist in extreme conditions for fractions of a second. Are they even useful for anything?

 

I thought the post was very funny, by the way.

[metadigital]

"GOVERNMENTIUM"

...

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons ...

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I actually laughed out loud at this bit. Thank you, I needed that. :D