Jump to content

Clips from council complait letters

Recommended Posts

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has

fungus growing in it.


2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just


take it anymore.


3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.


4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt


knob off.


5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he


his foot in the hole in his back passage.


6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my




7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.


think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.


8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?


9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the



10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife


and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.


11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen


12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are




13.I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.


14.The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is



15.Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour


not fit to drink.


16.Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.


17.I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at



his c0ck wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.


18.The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is

unsightly and dangerous.


19.Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a

third so


please send someone round to do something about it.


20.I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please


something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.


21.Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy




22.I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but still


no satisfaction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hee hee. :D ;)


But technically, there's nothing actually wrong with number 12. After all, if you had ten people, it'd be perfectly possible for 50% to be male, 50% to be English, and 50% to have brown eyes.

Hawk! Eggplant! AWAKEN!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...