I won't speak for anyone else but I don't think you personally need to apologize for anything. I think that Obsidian should have been more transparent in what was going on though. Backers should have gotten keys before anyone else. That didn't happen and when it didn't happen Obsidian should have been in front of that situation explaining why. We still don't really know why. At the end of the day, I don't think anyone is going to be upset, backer wise, as long as they have the game pre-loaded and ready to play when it unlocks.
I grabbed the early bird special and stuck with it. Now i am a bit vexed over seeing streamers playing this game for the last couple days, (review copies? My ass!).
But i don't remember seeing Obsidian promising "backer keys first".