I want the peaceful solution to this quest, but didn't realize there was an actual timer on it and blew it. I did the initial quests for both sides- although I killed the thieves in the Hole instead of sneaking up it should still be possible. I got as far as talking the Bardatto into considering a meeting, went to the Valera's, but it was middle of the night game-time, and he told me to come back later. So, I went off and did other quests, and when I got back it was too late. Now I'm locked into choosing sides.
Searching online, I found a post on this forum (https://forums.obsidian.net/topic/98430-questfamily-pride-quest-bug-peaceful-solution-fails/) which suggests clearing some variables with the console will let me proceed to the truce. I tried it with both the in-game console and unity console, and can talk to Valera without it triggering the heist, but there is no option for a meeting, just "What do you bring to the Valera Household" and "Farewell". The Bardatto leader is similarly a dead end, although I'm sure I told them I wanted peace.. The last entry in my journal for the quest is "I have decided to try and mediate peace between the two families. The first step is to talk with the head of each family and convince them to meet."
Can anyone tell me what console commands, global variable, save editing, or whatever I have to do to get peace? It's killing my desire to continue the game at all now.