It's not so much that I look down on them as I tend to exaggerate things, so much as I just can't fathom why they want the romance options in the first place.
I've never truly had a romance story in an RPG game play out in a good way (if there's an exceptionally good one out there, let me know, I love to be proven wrong about these things), they always feel so shoehorned in and badly done that I can't imagine why anyone would want it. There are even people that say (as evidenced by this thread in fact) that having a romance option is such a big factor to them that they wouldn't buy a game without it. I'm kind of on the opposite end of that spectrum, I don't want a badly played out romance shoved in my face. After a bad experience with that kind of thing (among other bad things, of course) in Dragon Age 2, and seeing all that on display in DA3 previews I opted to skip the game entirely.
To me it's like people are playing the same game as me for different reasons, and since there's only so much you can fit into any game, allocating resources for a romance plot could take away from things that would be better served with more resources, similar to your example of not wanting the time and money spent on evil path options as the expense of good options/core gameplay.
Also I absolutely do snub my friends on certain games, as they do me. That's half the fun of talking game with people
If you're using Dragon Age 2 as your metric for RPG romances, I'd suggest expanding your repertoire a little. Frankly, Bioware's romance writing has... not been stellar, of late, not since they were acquired by EA.
As I've previously mentioned, Anna from Planescape:Torment had a (in my opinion) touching and organic romance, if you chose to pursue it. Actually, so did Deionarra, even though she was a ghost... it was also very unusual because a lot of it was played out by experiencing flashbacks of TNO's relationship with her in their previous life, and then responding to those in the present. The fact that your previous incarnation was a heartless bastard who was just using her, but that you could use this current life to make it up to her spirit and even fall in love with her retroactively in your quest to set her free, was something that made the whole romance subplot very touching and bittersweet and something unique among any RPG romance I've ever seen.
I've always thought that Carth Onasi's romance in KOTOR was really well done, proving that yes, BioWare CAN write romances well if they really try. If your Revan was a little sarcastic and a little flirty (basically possessed of a well-developed sense of humor, keep in mind you DID program HK-47 after all), not overly sympathetic when he expressed his emotions to her, but not dismissive or cruel either, and always remained Light side, Carth would fall for you. If you weren't that particular combination, he would just be your good friend. It all felt very organic and natural. I remember my very first playthrough my Revan was completely soft-hearted, being purely sympathetic and gentle whenever Carth opened up about his past tragedies, and despite taking flirtatious conversation options, by the end of the game he thought of her as a friend and leader but he wasn't in love with her. My next playthrough (and others afterward) saw me playing a more snarky, irreverent Revan who wasn't afraid to verbally slap him around a little bit, and that stronger, more assertive personality meant that by the end of the game he pulled out the "I love you" card. Which was honestly a surprise to me, as my previous playthrough had conditioned me to expect that there was no actual romance there.
I never pursued Deionarra, and I won't lie, that sounds like a pretty interesting thread. More for the overall story of the characters than the romance itself. I'll make a note to take that route in my next playthrough. It could change my perspective a bit in the future, or just make me retroactively nostalgic for the times when games had actual good romance stories, haha.