True to form cant get third option

[Dokuhime]

I'm doing the quest atm but im not sure why but i dont get the "friendly" option to not attack him at all.

I searched for it everywhere and the only topic I found on that matter was close and the linked website didnt exist anymore.

I didnt understand the explanation either. (Could it be I had to choose a special answer when I was talking with him at the Blood Sands?)

Please help, my poor goody two-shoes Paladin wont survive not choosing the peaceful solution!