Because it is that time of night.
The rest is at the link. It gets.... super intense.
From http://thoughtcatalog.com/leo-steven/2014/04/dear-girls-who-are-finally-ready-to-date-nice-guys-we-dont-want-you-anymore/
It's apparently real, just like that guy that is engaged to Twilight Sparkle and thus wants people to stop drawing MLP porn.