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I am having a quarter-life qrysis. Essentially I am burned out on my current liberal arts masters' track. With a thesis looming some years into the future and most of my classmates already far more qualified and employed than I am, I'm discovering the ambivalence I always sort of had towards what I was doing. I think I'm done with this racket. It's not going to make me happy. So having my QLQ, as I am, I'm trying to think of what I want to do, what I've always dreamed of doing, and it turns out that's work on games. I'm not a total moron re: the game industry so I'm not some greenhorn who thinks he can market himself as a writer or designer (lol). Were I to even aspire to a design position it would be on the back of a tangible skill, namely programming or art, and a Justin Cherry I am not. I'm not aware of the full scope of possible jobs - one option might be to sign on somewhere in a QA capacity and work my way up into a producer track from there? - but programming seems to be the most overall useful thing. The thing is, I have trouble with math. While it's true that logic (which is different in some ways with math) underpins most programming, in modern game programming dealing with engines and visuals, an in-depth familiarity with physics is necessary, and therefore an in-depth knowledge of calculus. I've done fine in College Algebra (the real stuff, not "math for liberal arts majors") when I've studied hard, but CS degrees and the like require extensive calculus and linear algebra. I don't know if I lack the capacity for higher-level math processing or if my fear of math is causing paralysis. If I went back to undergrad, swallowed my pride, and made extensive use of math tutors I might take to it, I don't know. I don't know if it's relevant but I have a pretty solid grasp of the statistics and methods courses I've taken in my current / soon-to-be-ex discipline (public administration). The thing is, I've done a little bit of low-level coding myself. I got about halfway through a BG2 CNPC mod and I enjoyed the experience, but it was all quite basic scripting - placing the CNPC at a certain map coordinate, setting triggers, and building dialogue trees, such as this intra-party dialogue I added: CHAIN IF ~InParty("jaheira") InParty ("BJ#Auden") See("jaheira") !StateCheck("BJ#Auden",CD_STATE_NOTVALID) !StateCheck("jaheira",CD_STATE_NOTVALID) Global("BJ#JaheiraGab","GLOBAL",1)~ THEN BJAHEIR AudJahB1-1 ~It appears that life on the road suits you, Auden.~ == BBJ#Aude ~It does, I think. It has been over a year since I left my homeland. One learns to live simply - it helps that I carry so few accoutrements of the adventurer's life.~ == BJAHEIR ~I imagine so. The simple life is often the better, I think. But traveling with CHARNAME, simplicity is impossible.~ == BBJ#Aude ~It musn't be so bad, if you're still here.~ == BJAHEIR ~Well now, I have old promises to live up to... I imagine you know a great deal about keeping to one's oaths.~ == BBJ#Aude ~If I have obligations to fulfill it it because I have chosen them. Those who break their promises lose control over themselves.~ == BJAHEIR ~Hmph. Better to break your word than do worse in keeping it. If you seek to ingratiate yourself to me, you can start by keeping watch at next camp. It is your turn to do so.~ == BBJ#Aude ~I look forward to it.~ DO ~IncrementGlobal("BJ#JaheiraGab","GLOBAL",1)~ EXIT I had a lot of fun with this, and the logic of it made a lot of sense to me, though the lack of tutorials for that particular set of tools (and the overt creepiness of the modding community) made me give it up. I want to do that sort of thing again, and I'm looking forward to Project: Eternity allowing me to revisit that sort of mod work. But fun as it is, I don't think this sort of thing is greatly applicable to current industry work. Getting a job requires much more. I guess my question is: Given my doubts about my ability to naturally handle physics and calculus with ease, am I better off diverting my attention to things like web development and the like (which would also, it should be said, require less and cheaper schooling), which are more overtly logic-based, and save my game aspirations for low-level modding of games other people make? Or is there some career path within the gaming industry that I could work towards that doesn't require that intense level of math? Can I learn to program and be employed and work on games without having to deal with hit detection and ragdolls and all that? Or should I do something else and partake in welterweight fanmod projects built on foundations laid by the pros? Am I hopelessly confused about what programming actually is?? Help me, Obsidian forums!