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Posting A Funny - The Thread


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#341
Raithe

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#342
Bartimaeus

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​I get the feeling that the DM never bothers to pay those gold or XP costs, though...



#343
Fiach

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An elderly Mexican lived close to Los Angeles for more than thirty five years.

He would have loved to plant carrots in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.

His son is in college in Mexico City, so the old man sends him an e-mail.

He explains the problem: “My Dear Son, I am very sad, because I can’t plant carrots in my garden. I am sure, if you were here, you could help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father.”

The following day, the old man receives an e-mail from his son: “Beloved Father, please don’t touch the garden. It’s there that I have hidden ‘the THING’. I love you, too, Rodrigo”

At 3pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can’t find anything. They disappointed and left the house.

Next day, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. “Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your carrots. That’s all I could do for you from here. I love you, Rodrigo.”
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#344
Sharp_one

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An elderly Mexican lived close to Los Angeles for more than thirty five years.

He would have loved to plant carrots in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.

His son is in college in Mexico City, so the old man sends him an e-mail.

He explains the problem: “My Dear Son, I am very sad, because I can’t plant carrots in my garden. I am sure, if you were here, you could help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father.”

The following day, the old man receives an e-mail from his son: “Beloved Father, please don’t touch the garden. It’s there that I have hidden ‘the THING’. I love you, too, Rodrigo”

At 3pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can’t find anything. They disappointed and left the house.

Next day, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. “Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your carrots. That’s all I could do for you from here. I love you, Rodrigo.”


This is a politically correct version. The original I heard places the grandson of the man in prison, which makes more sense.
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#345
smjjames

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An elderly Mexican lived close to Los Angeles for more than thirty five years.

He would have loved to plant carrots in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak.

His son is in college in Mexico City, so the old man sends him an e-mail.

He explains the problem: “My Dear Son, I am very sad, because I can’t plant carrots in my garden. I am sure, if you were here, you could help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father.”

The following day, the old man receives an e-mail from his son: “Beloved Father, please don’t touch the garden. It’s there that I have hidden ‘the THING’. I love you, too, Rodrigo”

At 3pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can’t find anything. They disappointed and left the house.

Next day, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. “Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your carrots. That’s all I could do for you from here. I love you, Rodrigo.”


This is a politically correct version. The original I heard places the grandson of the man in prison, which makes more sense.

 

 

I'm sure there are less politically correct versions, but the joke here is the reaction of federal authorities, plus the implied surveillance.

 

Not sure why the military is involved in this apparent copypasta, but I suppose it just makes it all the more silly. edit: Oh wait, I get it for military.


Edited by smjjames, 13 January 2018 - 08:30 AM.


#346
Hurlshot

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Of course, he wouldn't need to be in Mexico in the version Sharpie mentioned. It's not a matter of political correctness, it is simply a more timely joke as currently constructed given the border situation. I'm surprised they didn't work ICE into the response team. The Rangers does seem an odd target. 

 

It's kind of like how all the jokes about Polish people were turned into blonde jokes during the 80's and 90's.  :thumbsup:



#347
smjjames

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Of course, he wouldn't need to be in Mexico in the version Sharpie mentioned. It's not a matter of political correctness, it is simply a more timely joke as currently constructed given the border situation. I'm surprised they didn't work ICE into the response team. The Rangers does seem an odd target. 

 

It's kind of like how all the jokes about Polish people were turned into blonde jokes during the 80's and 90's.  :thumbsup:

 

As sharpie said, it's a politically correct version, so, of course it doesn't have ICE (Immigration and Customs (as in imported goods) Enforcement for those not familiar with the acronym). In which they'd probably deport the elderly man who lived there for more than 30 years.


Edited by smjjames, 13 January 2018 - 09:14 AM.


#348
smjjames

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Anyway, back on topic: http://www.bbc.com/n...ne-in-australia (video)


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#349
Fiach

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A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas. “Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?” The kid says, “One.” The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?”

Kid says, “$101,237.64.” Boss says, “$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?”

Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.”

The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?”

Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, ‘Well, your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing” :)
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#350
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#351
Raithe

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#352
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#353
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#354
Raithe

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Quote for the Day: "I agree that single-name bad guys are more awesome, like Sauron, Ganondorf, Loki, and Madonna."

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#355
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#356
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#357
Ben No.3

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Who would’ve thought that the one thing this forum could agree upon is that Marx was right?

#358
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#359
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#360
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