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Which RPG-story would you like to rewrite?

RPG Story Writing Fun

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#41
SonicMage117

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Morrorwind and Skyrim.


For.... obvious reasons.

#42
Amentep

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I have a lot of fun with Skyrim, but I don't really see it as a RPG. The Bethesda ES and FALLOUTS are almost a genre to themselves.

#43
Katphood

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Kingdoms of Amalur: The Reckoning.


Awesome gameplay and visuals which is -sadly- coupled with a story that is so bad I can't even remember.

#44
Gromnir

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  • Black Isle Bastard!

 

 

And Throne of Bhaal would have been changed as follow:

 

- Bhaal takes over: Thought long about it, but as predictable as it would've been, Bhaal should have been the last boss of the series. The games were about his plans and I don't know why he just didn't take over of Amelyssan.

 

 

 

obvious answer: bhaal was dead.  

 

*shrug*

 

sure, bhaal had a plan to reconstitute himself, but amelyssan subverted the scheme.  bhaal weren't active directing the flow o' events cause, as already stated, he were dead.

 

to answer the larger question as to which crpg stories we would wanna rewrite, the answer is simple: none.  is any number o' crpg stories we believe fail or is harmed by poor writer choices, but would never choose to change 'em.  is not our stories, and if they became our stories we would be disappointed 'cause then we would know exact what were gonna happen, and where is the fun in that? 

 

we will note how we believe folks is inordinate focused on plot shortcomings in this thread, in spite o' reality o' plot being the least important aspect o' most crpg stories.  particular for fantasy, but also for most sci-fi, plot is tending to be o' marginal importance to the story.  is quixotic difficult to explain to folks, but is more to story than plot.  character development and setting is often more important than plot in the vast majority o' fantasy, which almost by definition has the reader embracing implausible plot. sure, plot is inextricable linked with other qualities, but could change minor and major aspects o' plot in most fantasy and sci-fi storytelling w/o much hurting or improving the actual story.

 

make folks care 'bout characters, and the author can do whatever the hell they want to with plot.  make the reader love protagonists and hate villains, or vice versa.  readers will accept and even forgive most any plot shortcoming if setting creates sense o' wonder and the characters breathe. 

 

HA! Good Fun!

 

ps  that said, am not certain what it is 'bout bis/obsidian and their inability to finish games.  have been almost universal disappointed with bis/obsidian conclusions, including the endings o' some o' our favorite games evar. 


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#45
Harry Easter

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@Chilloutman
 
Naaah, it's pretty good! You just have to take your time, because they try to deepen every aspect of it. But it can be a bit slow.




really? from what I seen it seems so much more ... cartoonish (and I don't mean aestetics) while old ones feels more... i don't know, gothic?

 

 

Huh. You sure you mean D:OS 2 and not D:OS 1? Because the graphics in 2 are way more realistic and the tone is way darker. I mean, there are Plant-design-armours, but even those look more realistic than the helmets in D:OS 1 (although I liked those too. Sometimes colour is just more fun). 

 

 

@SonicMage

 

Okay, Skyrim I can get, but why Morrorwind? Because it doesn't present it's story at all, while Skyrim tries, but fails?

 

 

 

@Katphood

 

Oooh, me too. I have a lot thoughts, but for me it comes down to shrink down the world and give the mainquest more focus.

 

 

@Gromnir

 

True, but it is still fun to read the reasoning of the others and a fun thought experiment for your own creative content (at least I like to do this, while working on other stuff. It also makes me appreciate the stuff I already like more). 



#46
Chilloutman

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I don't know why but I thought we are talking about Diablo 3. My bad
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#47
TrueNeutral

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World of WarCraft.
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#48
the_dog_days

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Dragon Age Inquisition

 

My rewrite:

 

Act 1: You are considered the prime suspect for the divine's death, even by the Inquisition. The only reason they haven't killed you is because you have the anchor and can close rifts and are therefore their only means of closing the breach. Cassandra is your 'parole officer', she's also in charge of keeping an eye on Solas (she includes Varric in these orders, even though he isn't). You aren't the leader of the Inquisition; you are a prisoner. (Since I don't have a budget I'd also throw in an option for you to attempt to run right at the beginning of the game. All it does is initiate a 10 second cut scene where you are killed while trying to make a break for it resulting in a Game Over.) The only areas you have access to are the Hinterlands, Val Royeaux, and Haven (in the actual game you have can go to the Storm Coast and Fallow Mire in act 1). The only reason they are letting you run around these open world zones is because they need you to close the rifts. Campsites aren't campsites, they're where you check in with the Inquisition (there's a timer that starts when traveling in between campsites and if you haven't checked in with them by the time it runs out they will send soldiers after you initiating a 10 second cut scene where you are killed). Solas, Cassandra, and Varric are the only companions available in act 1. During Corypheus' attack on Haven he succeeds in wiping out the Inquisition and reclaiming the anchor. Only you and whomever you have in your party at that time (which is the reason I only gave you just enough companions to have a full party, though like the actual game you can run around in that quest without a full party because it takes place in Haven) are the only people to (barely) escape.

 

Act 2: The Inquisition is gone, Orlais is being overrun by demons, the Grey Wardens are under Corypheus' control, and you have no base of operations. From this point you begin to build a network of spies (our new use for the agents of the Inquisition). While no one agent is plot essential, each one does have a unique background and personality. Corypheus is still after you, and you are on the run. Gathering these agents, tracking down leads to find out more about Corypheus, and closing the occasional rift with the residual power of the mark (its hand wavey, but its a BioWare game and if they can hand wave 100,000 people magically having the means and want to needed to travel to Andromeda to . . . you know, like, see stuff, then I'm not too concerned about this little plot hole) are the new reasons for the open world zones.

 

Act 3: You eventually discover that there's a magical ritual that can temporarily multiply the power of your mark, meaning that you could use it to nullify Corypheus' anchor. Its complex and requires lots of time and space to setup so you have to draw out Corypheus to a prepared spot, ideally without his demon army. Thus begins the long task of theatrically using your mark in public to undo Corypheus' rifts in open defiance while still on the run from his armies. You mange to use your agents to sabotage one of Corypheus' strongholds and personally close one of his main rifts right in front of a group of enslaved peasants. Feed up with the display, Corypheus decides comes out of hiding to attack you head on (he wants to show the world that he isn't afraid of you). Corypheus triggers the trap but at the height of the battle the Red Templars catch up to their master and disrupt the magical ritual. Corypheus pulls the entire stronghold with him into the Fade where he throws demons and nightmares at you (they kill indiscriminately, so those helpful Red Templars meet an untimely death). You go on a chase through the Fade after Corypheus. These zones are half puzzle mini game like the Fade in Origins. Each time you nearly corner Corypheus, he uses the anchor to shift where in the Fade you are. In each Fade zone you can either befriend or enslave a spirit to aid you. After cornering Corypheus you use the spirits to harass him when he attempts to shift once more. In Corypheus' exhaustion and lack of focus he missuses the anchor and tears himself part, destroying the anchor in the process. As the anchor's power explodes outward you channel the last of it through your residual mark to help you and your companions escape the Fade.

 

End Game: Going around zone to zone and killing respawning demons and closing rifts, so basically what DA:I was to begin with.


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#49
EbonyBetty

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Welp, Dragon Age Origins and Dragon Age Inquisition have been called out. Time to bring in the Red Headed Step-Child of the DA series

 

Dragon Age 2

 

In the concept art it's implied that Hawke was supposed have tattoos like Fenris had. For those that don't know or purged your memory of Dragon Age 2 ( I don't blame you). Fenris was forcibly tattooed against his will with lyrium-infused ink. Lyrium is basically the mana of DA world is made out of the decomposed bodies of dead titans. This act granted Fenris temporary invulnerability, resistances to magic, and super strength (the famous scene of how you meet Fenris is is him literally punching a guy's heart clean through the otherside of him.) Now, I'm in the minority of most DA fangirls, I ****ing hated Fenris. He was an interesting concept on a bland character and it was clear that the tattoos were a hold-over from something else because he's story about those tattoos go literally nowhere.     

 

Instead I think DA2 should have opened with Hawke (yes I'm keeping the fixed name character but I feel Hawke could be either Elf or Human and can be either Mage, Warrior, or Rouge), selling themselves in indentured servitude, to pay for their families' trip away from war-torn Ostagar.  They're ultimately tricked and sold into actual slavery and literally the first scene the player sees/plays is their player-character trying to escape Mad Max Fury Road opening-style from this Tevinter organization and ultimately getting caught, tied down and painfully tattoed with lyrium ink. The camera doesn't skimp on the gore and the last thing the player sees is the camera panning up with Hawke's muffled screams.

 

'Cause this Hawke ain't no punk, they escape. Either sneaking out and only having to kill a couple of people or going on a full bloody rampage.

 

Honestly the whole 1st act should be thrown away. No underground expedition and making it rich. Hawke is alone and trying to figure out how the hell they can get back to their family. They ultimately get picked up by the Qunari ship and is treated like this oddity. Storm happens and the Qun ship crashes into the Kirkwall port. BAM! we're already rollin' with the Qunari/Kirkwall conflict.

 

I have more ideas, but I gotta go off to class. ADD MORE IF YOU GUYS WANNA    


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#50
Harry Easter

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Welp, Dragon Age Origins and Dragon Age Inquisition have been called out. Time to bring in the Red Headed Step-Child of the DA series

 

Dragon Age 2

 

In the concept art it's implied that Hawke was supposed have tattoos like Fenris had. For those that don't know or purged your memory of Dragon Age 2 ( I don't blame you). Fenris was forcibly tattooed against his will with lyrium-infused ink. Lyrium is basically the mana of DA world is made out of the decomposed bodies of dead titans. This act granted Fenris temporary invulnerability, resistances to magic, and super strength (the famous scene of how you meet Fenris is is him literally punching a guy's heart clean through the otherside of him.) Now, I'm in the minority of most DA fangirls, I ****ing hated Fenris. He was an interesting concept on a bland character and it was clear that the tattoos were a hold-over from something else because he's story about those tattoos go literally nowhere.     

 

Instead I think DA2 should have opened with Hawke (yes I'm keeping the fixed name character but I feel Hawke could be either Elf or Human and can be either Mage, Warrior, or Rouge), selling themselves in indentured servitude, to pay for their families' trip away from war-torn Ostagar.  They're ultimately tricked and sold into actual slavery and literally the first scene the player sees/plays is their player-character trying to escape Mad Max Fury Road opening-style from this Tevinter organization and ultimately getting caught, tied down and painfully tattoed with lyrium ink. The camera doesn't skimp on the gore and the last thing the player sees is the camera panning up with Hawke's muffled screams.

 

'Cause this Hawke ain't no punk, they escape. Either sneaking out and only having to kill a couple of people or going on a full bloody rampage.

 

Honestly the whole 1st act should be thrown away. No underground expedition and making it rich. Hawke is alone and trying to figure out how the hell they can get back to their family. They ultimately get picked up by the Qunari ship and is treated like this oddity. Storm happens and the Qun ship crashes into the Kirkwall port. BAM! we're already rollin' with the Qunari/Kirkwall conflict.

 

I have more ideas, but I gotta go off to class. ADD MORE IF YOU GUYS WANNA    

 

 

Love this, hate Fenris too, but also liked his concept (and the idea of having guys like him being an type of enemy. He also would have worked better as an antagonist).

 

I will write stuff down about DA: I, because it goes a bit in another direction, but I have some thoughts on DA2, too. 

 

I liked the story of the game, except for the ending and I would just rewrite two things:

 

Let Corypheus be a real character and give him a good build up: It is implied in the story, that Red Lyrium is the concentrated essence of sacrificed slaves of the Tevinter Empire. Kirkwall was the biggest market for slaves, Corypheus was imprisoned under the city and one of the magisters, that entered the City in the Fade. So why not combine those four aspects into one?

 

In this version Corypheus was the Lord of Kirkwall, but got mad and was imprisoned by rebells. Over the centuries he could feel the pain of the slaves and mages, that died in the dungeons of Kirkwall, feel their suffering, hear the pleas for redemption of the Lyrium addicted Templars. The Lyrium also started to grow into his skin, so the voices turned really loud. It got only worse over the reign of Archtemplar Meredith and the experiments of Orsinos secret circle of blood mages. A lot of blood flew into the streets of Kirkwalls and Anders big ritual is the last straw to finally let him free. Maybe Hawke gets caught in the explosion and Corypheus resuces him, because he sees a likeminded spirit in them and himself? We don't know, but he leaves the city, the souls of tens of thousand dead people in his head, ready to change Thedas for the better, even if it doesn't want it.

 

I think this would fit good into the whole "sins, hate and miscommunication" - theme of the whole game and give Corypheus a certain aura of mystery around him. It would also be a good payoff, for all the hints the game spread through in-game documents.

 

 

Lets us choose one ending and live with it:  I never liked that we fought Meredith and Orsino no matter what we choose. I found it kind of cowardly. Either we live with our choice, or we don't. And it is still a bit hasty, that Orsino loses all his cool and turns into a big monster.

 

or

 

Meredith should be the final boss: If it doesn't change anything, stay with Meredith as the solidary antagonist. She had a good build-up and an interesting polarising personality and I like the idea, that she really loses it when she sees that Corypheus is HER fault. Maybe it is even Corypheus, who uses his magic, so she gets transformed by all the red Lyrium in her body she might have consumed over the year? It would be a good example of his might and there's kind of poetic irony in this transformative act.


Edited by Harry Easter, 12 February 2018 - 05:55 AM.

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#51
HoonDing

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Near the end of MotB, main character should have the possibility to use spirit-eater power to force Kelemvor unto the Prime Material Plane where you kill his avatar (a mere fighter 30/cleric 25/mage 28) with the rest of your ~level 30 party.

Edited by HoonDing, 06 February 2018 - 01:45 AM.


#52
Harry Easter

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Since part 2 is almost here, I wrote some ideas on

 

 

Pillars of Eternity 1

 

I wouldn't change much, because I found the first and third act very strong. Act 1 introduced us to the Dyrwood and the mentality of it's people and the bigger themes of the story, while act 3 had with the best quests and gave the narrative a very good conclusion and a good glimpse how different Eora really can be.

 

The second act was the weakest thought, but only three of the two bigger quests and those I would rewrite. Well them and 

 

Put more flashbacks into the game: at least one for every quest we ended. It worked in the Asylum and after the process and gave our backstory and Thaos real depth. A bit more interaction between our old self and the hight priest would've been fine. Besides, I enjoyed talking with the old madman.

 

Okay, now to the two main-quest:

 

Dyrford: I would just combine the Skaen Subplot with the actual interactings with the temple. In this case, the Leader of the Skaencultists would've been an Agent of the Leaden Key, who unites upset Dyrwoodians, to kill as much Natives and Animancers as possible, so the soulsucking machine gets more food faster and the gap between Glanfathans and Dyrwoodians becomes even bigger than it is now. Throw in a little talk with Skaen himself and the player would have got hints, that the gods aren't as unimpeachable as the players may have thought and the gods of rebells in the service of servants of the goddess of order would also have been a big hint, that the masters can also be the slaves.

 

Heritage Hill: This one is tricky, because nothing really happens and in the end, we really don't know more about the spires than before. But it could start with a murder and the belief, that Fampyr was behind it. The player investigates and finds out, that the suspect was a businessman that traded in glanfanthan artefacts and put a lot of his money into founding animancy and peace treaties with the natives. He was also the servant of a fampyr, who controlled him behind the curtain. The Fampyr was once themselve a member of the Leaden Key, but had to flee, when they couldn't overthrow Thaos.  The murder was orchestrated by a high official of Defiance Bay, who wants to discredit the dead and all he stood for. This quest could bring some complexity into the story, working with an shadowy creature who IS a real threat to mortals, but also show how the Leaden Key is undermining the gouvernment of the Palinate. After the awesome animancy of Thaos and the cult-activity of Dyrford, this could be a fun murder investigation with a lot oppurtunities for roleplay. 


Edited by Harry Easter, 16 February 2018 - 02:01 PM.


#53
Harry Easter

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Okay, now some thoughts on

 

Dragon Age: Inquisition

 

This game didn't need a very complicated mainquest, since most of it is considered to spend on buildung your little Empire. Most of my ideas would have changed the beginning a bit and Corypheus plans and his followers

 

1) Give the Inquisitor a real backstory: In this case we are the newest pupil of the Divine, who was raised to be leading figure to either keep the Fereldans in check, who got more ****y after finding the Ashes of Andraste (human Origin) or convert mages back (mage Origin) or bring heathens (Dwarves, Qunari, Elves) to convert. It would have give us a clearer connection to her and also provide us some Origins, since we are not an Orlesian. In the beginning of the game, she would send us to ozr first missions, so the population could get a good look at us and we can meet the other party members. It would be a slicker entrance and we had some time to get a feel for the world. Then Corypheus blows up the meeting between Mages and Templars ...

 

2) Corypheus, his plans and how he blew everything up: Corypheus used the Red Lyrium Statue of Mereditha as kind of a false prophet, through channelling Souls into the Red Lyrium she was made off (the souls used her as their mouthpiece). And after he was sure, that his enemies were in one place, he blew it up through magic. This also the reason, why the portal to the Fade appeared. After killing the Leaders of Church, Templars and rebell Mages, Corypheus steals the Ashes of Andraste and calls it a day.

 

His plan? Being a deeply religious person, Corypheus wants to make ammends and give the people the world they deserve, by summoning the ghost of Andraste (that's why he needed her Ashes), imprison her in one big Elder Dragon (maybe one of the Archdemons) and feeds it with Red Lyrium, which means, pure magic and Souls, creating an anchor in this world. It is an item of worship, which the desperate Orlesians can pray to, so he can collect their prayers and the resulting magic for the biggest Blood Ritual ever. A Ritual which will kill thousands of people, but reshape the face of reality, since the Fade makes everything possible, as long as there is enough power to work with. Corypheus knows that he will die too, but it is a small price, to give everyone the paradies they deserve. He believes in the ritual, since it seemed to worked when the elves used it the first time ...

 

3) Corypheus followers: Templars, Mages, Grey Wardens who don't want to die and Dark Spawn, enhanced with Red Lyrium and possessed by Demons. He also controls them through Red Lyrium, That's it, what more do you need?

 

And the Architect hates him for using the other Spawns, so he has a reason to reappear and give some exposition about him to the player.


Edited by Harry Easter, 17 February 2018 - 04:08 PM.

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