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Storyline Theory Extravaganza


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1- The Jedi order is in dispute whether to increase the number of officially approved Lightsaber Colors, and to introduce Flowing Robes. The dispute grows into Civil War. Thousands of Jedi slaughter one another. The champion of the Many Colors Faction emerges victorious; their leader: the former Jedi, Darth Rainbowsaber declares himself Lord of the Sith.

 

2- Revan, the new captain of the Star Forge, promenades along the halls of the Rakatan Factory. He sees a BIG RED BUTTON on one of the control panels and hits it; instantly the nukes fire, headed towards Coruscant. The Radar operator on Coruscant sees the nukes, hits their own RIG RED BUTTON.

 

3- With the support and encouragement of some dark forces which they couldn

Zwangvolle Plage!

M

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funny funny funny i like them all except the matale v.s. sandral one that cant happen cuz i had them kill eachother on dantooine

the force is what gives a jedi his power. its an energy field created by all living things. it surrounds us and penetrates us. it binds the galaxy together

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Here I got one for you.

 

Ajunta Pall and Tulak Hord take advantage of the fact that they have no prior history and complete their made up plan of resurrecting themselves which the duo had put into action thousands of years ago or atleast thats what they say because nobody else really knows. Making stuff up as they go along Tulak Hord and Ajunta Pall transform themselves into the greatest Sith in the galaxy. Now with Tulak Hord being the new Sith Lord and Ajunta his apprentice the two Sith construct a mysterious super weapon that can't be destroyed, has double stampies, and no do overs. As the Sith begin to destroy the Republic fleet and countless star system fall under their evil grasp the Jedi fail to respond because they have no freaking idea who these guys are. The Jedi then debate for months whether or not these two Sith truely even exist and if this war could just be a figment of their imaginations. The resulting arguement resembles a parallel universe where Greek philosphers Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle debate with German philosophers Nietzsche, Hegel, and Schopenhauer on subjects ranging from what constitutes true reality to mans pre-ordained role in society. In the end the dazed and confused Jedi are overwhelmed by the Sith and destroyed except for one rogue Jedi who was banished long ago for asking questions.

 

Cheers!

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:huh::wacko: Marvellous! :):lol:

 

Greek television after the match:

 

Reporter: (intervieving each player as he appears at the end of the tunnel) Epicurus! Mr. Epicurus congratulations can we hear your comments?

 

Epicurus: Well, I did not pay much attention, you see...I could have got injured, or we could have lost the game and I would have become distressed. So I cultivated myself a little garden around the corner flag. It was really pleasurable.

 

Reporter: errr... thanks Mr. Epicurus. I see Mr. Kant approaching. Herr Kant, your comments please

 

Kant: (furious) Comments, hah! Ask that to Mr. Confucius. He legislated for himself rules that, insofar as they were partial towards that side to which we were opposed, were unjust in that the whistle which, as it....

 

Reporter: I'm not sure if our viewers are able to follow you, Herr Kant

 

Kant: Is that so? That captain of theirs blew fire in my face, crippling my transcendental unity of apperception! I perceived the field as a hexagon, and the game appeared slow motion to me! What more do you ask! That linesmen to Mr. Confucius... Aquinas, he never saw the offsides for Aristotle, his buddy! Never rely on those saints, I tell you...

 

Reporter: Thanks Herr Kant. Now I see the scorer for the Greek side, Mr. Socrates. So you've won the game...

 

Socrates: an accurate observation you have made, but tell me first, who is a soccer player?

 

Reporter: I suppose one who plays with a soccer ball

 

Socrates: My dear reporter; the marketplace of Athens abounds in balls of all sizes, which, if you have the money of course, you can buy and start playing with. and indeed small children play with a small ball in their cradle. I suppose we ought to include them as well, among soccer players.

 

Reporter: No, I see that I've been talking nonsense, Socrates.

 

Socrates: So there ought to be something else, which makes a soccer player

 

Reporter: Yes, Socrates

 

Socrates: Is soccer a game the player plays by himself?

 

Reporter: No, you need to have a team

 

Socrates: and does a team play within itself, or seek another team to play with?

 

Reporter: Another team

 

Socrates: Now, Reporter; tell me: Why do people come together in teams, and play against one another?

 

Reporter: That

Zwangvolle Plage!

M

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Wow....

 

See what I missed daydreaming through philosophy 101? I learned my great philosphers from Monty Python!

 

 

IIIIIImmanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table...

baby, take off your beret

everyone's a critic and most people are DJs

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Wow....

 

See what I missed daydreaming through philosophy 101? I learned my great philosphers from Monty Python!

 

 

IIIIIImmanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table...

 

Old Man: Just goes to show these days all the kids are on drugs and the adults are all on roller skates!

 

*Announcer cuts in*

 

Announcer: Let us now go to our coverage of the illustrious sport, horses riding midgets.

 

*Camera pans over the Santa Anita horse track. At the starting gate the midgets prepare to have a thoroughbred horse mount their backs*

 

Announcer: And they're off!...

 

*The gates open followed by bone crunching sounds and cries of agony and death*

 

Announcer: Oh lord not again! Ladies and gentlemen there seems to be some trouble at the gate... Yes indeed the horses have once again failed to make it past the starting gate. We at NBC apologize for the inhumane event you have just witnessed and would now like to show you the program previously scheduled at this time which is animals that are hell bent on killing Steve Erwin. Enjoy, wont you. (Leaving the door wide open, wink, wink snap, snap, grin, grin, say no more.)

 

Cheers!

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Okay...

 

 

Following the end of the Mandalorian Wars, our PC landed on Maanan. He served five years in the Ahto City prison for slicing up the New York city cab driver turned Pazaak shark in the mercenary enclave after a off-kilter comment about Derek Jeter caused the old man to pull a blaster. The Selkath judges, Yankees fans to a man..err, fish, gave him five years for instigation and appendage removal.

 

Now a free man, he learns about the new Sith Lord, Darth Diesel. Twisted by the dark side, Darth Diesel did not know that greed and arrogance lead down the dark path. After his action film career crashed and burned, his massive ego would not be sated until he had the galaxy in his grasp. He traveled to the highest mountains of Korriban to train under the eccentric and reclusive Sith Master, Kristofer Walken, to harnass his anger and learn the way of the Sith.

 

Welcome back to the stage of history.....

KOTOR 2

baby, take off your beret

everyone's a critic and most people are DJs

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Okay...

 

 

Following the end of the Mandalorian Wars, our PC landed on Maanan. He served five years in the Ahto City prison for slicing up the New York city cab driver turned Pazaak shark in the mercenary enclave after a off-kilter comment about Derek Jeter caused the old man to pull a blaster. The Selkath judges, Yankees fans to a man..err, fish, gave him five years for instigation and appendage removal.

 

Now a free man, he learns about the new Sith Lord, Darth Diesel. Twisted by the dark side, Darth Diesel did not know that greed and arrogance lead down the dark path. After his action film career crashed and burned, his massive ego would not be sated until he had the galaxy in his grasp. He traveled to the highest mountains of Korriban to train under the eccentric and reclusive Sith Master, Kristofer Walken, to harnass his anger and learn the way of the Sith.

 

Welcome back to the stage of history.....

KOTOR 2

 

Critic: Yes, the above post on the surface is definitely about steroid use in the Olympics and the bad choices made by stars who are considering their next movie role. However I and the American public can read between the lines and I believe it's more than that. Tell us sir what are you truely trying to get at? In my opinion I believe this is really about either JFK and the Cuban missile crisis or Richard Nixon and his barbie doll collection. Well sir which is it?

 

*Just then an NBC anchor interrupts the program*

 

Anchor: Secretary Tom Ridge has determined that this thread has become silly! As a result of such a proclamation by the secretary of defense this thread has now been upgraded to the color off Salmon. Any further attempt to be silly will result in the proper escalation of said color.... That is all... Now enjoy this short informational film entitled Iraqi's and their misfortunate problem of building their homes above our oil which is sponsored by Enron and it's founders Bush & sons.

 

Cheers!

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Don't worry; I have a story about mistreatment on the forums:

 

The sons of the Obsidian Forum had been awaiting the One for millenia. He would visit the forum to make the most brilliant posts: His Speculations were to prove more interesting than the game; his Polls and Suggestions were to soothe the barren souls of members, who came to the forums, and left empty handed, day in, day out....

 

There emerged a Forum Member one day; he made speculations, and was humiliated; he opened polls, and those were ridiculed. His threads were banned, his topics ignored. After one last post where he finally nailed the Kotor 2 plot, he was banned.

 

....and that was only the beginnings of his prodigious legacy; for who do you think gamers met at the TSL final scene?

 

Darth Matale....

Zwangvolle Plage!

M

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Yes indeed, your post reminds me of modern day badminton tournaments, but what does it all mean?

Cheers!

 

you mean what the post is trying to say?

 

It is a parody of that interrogation mini-side-quest on Dantooine which almost made me a Sith Lord; I did not like it the least bit -just as I had become a Jedi, playing around with my lightsaber on the fields, this Twilek interrupts and I'm stuck between three people for 15 minutes, losing all sense of time I was immersed in until then.

Zwangvolle Plage!

M

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